XVII
by Kindled Chime
Summary: The Angels are all dead. But why should death stop an Angel? Taking a shower will never be the same again...
1. Awakening

_Hey boys and girls. Time for my second serious fic to begin. It's set after the death of the rampant gay...ahem, I mean Tabris and ignores the movies. A lot different from the last work but I hope you like it none the less. The chances are this will be longer than 'Send in the Rei's', and you know what that means...I won't be eating or sleeping anytime soon. Once inspiration strikes it takes a while to get it's fangs out of my leg... Dammit._

_Please read and review. And PLEASE ignore any rants I go on following you're reviews, despite my age puberty still likes to kick me in the balls by furnishing me with mood swings. Apologies in advance._

_Shinji will eventually become OOC to a degree, so be prepared. If you don't like it feel free to tell me and I'll feel free to turn green and start screaming "HULK SMASH" and turn you into a newly flattened man-pancake. As for the women...er...I'll just force you to date me. The men have it easier, trust me. OK? OK. I hope you have as much fun reading as I do writing...no wait that doesn't mean much...Meh._

_I don't own anything. Don't sue me._

**XVII: Awakening.**

The boy lay on his bed, eyes wide open in the darkness and his face pressed into the pillow below him. Classical music streamed into his ears through the small ear buds that trailed from his SDAT, but he didn't really hear it. In many ways he hadn't really heard the music for a long, long time now. The boy's deep blur eyes were glazed over as he lay at the mercy of his memories, watching them playing again and again in his mind without respite. His hands clutched at the pillow, cool beneath his fingers as the sights and sounds of the past ripped through him, each one leaving a mark even if it couldn't be seen on the outside.

All gone. They were all gone. Misato was lost in her grief. Asuka was comatose. Rei...wasn't really Rei...to the extent that the quiet albino girl could indeed _be_ anyone. Touji and Kensuke had evacuated with the other inhabitants of Tokyo-3 before the final Angel's attack. Kaworu... was dead. Crushed like a can. If he stopped _not_ thinking about it enough he could still feel the peculiar pressure in the palm of his hand, he could still feel his Evangelion's massive tendons flex briefly and he could still feel the warm LCL soaking his hand where the remains of his friend lay like a bloody puppet with it's strings cut. And he could still hear his own screams, echoing in the dark caverns of his mind.

Shinji Ikari, the Third Child, knew he'd be hearing those screams for an eternity to come. He couldn't say he was looking forward to it.

The music he wasn't listening to stopped and his fingers pressed a set series of buttons without any conscious thought, rewinding the tape and restarting the song. Moving sluggishly he turned over lying on his back and staring at his bare ceiling. In a bid to hold off the incessant memories he slid his eyes down to the window, looking out into the rain beyond. He was surprised. He hadn't noticed it start raining. Quietly getting up from his bed, Shinji unhooked he earbuds and lay them down, not concerned enough to pause the music or turn off the tiny machine. Padding quickly across the cold floor Shinji leaned against his window watching the rain fall outside the glass portal. He had always loved the rain. He enjoyed the sound of it falling from the sky onto the hard stone of the city, and he enjoyed standing in it's cold embrace, losing himself in the sound around him. It was probably why he enjoyed showers so much. But above all else Shinji loved looking out across the city and seeing it bathed in water. Especially at night, when the amber street lights furnish the wet roads with a golden sheen. He couldn't think of a more beautiful view. A city of stone and steel, awash with a deluge from the skies. There had been many times when he watched that very view from his window and had dreamt of being out their and losing himself in the downpour. It soothed him.

Shinji sat there for hours, the rain giving no sign of abating or slowing. Mind curiously empty and free of thought, he just sat and watched the rain fall, tracing the paths of rivulets that cascaded down his glass pane. This was the closest he had come to peace in an age.

Unconscious of the time that had passed Shinji abruptly felt tired, the quiet rush of the rain lulling him into sleep. Stumbling back to his bed he collapsed on the soft mattress and succumbed to the call of slumber, lying across the bed still fully clothed. He didn't hear his guardian checking on him some time later. Nor did he see the tears trailing from her red eyes as she remembered the love she had lost.

* * *

Shinji scrunched his eyes, and tried to roll away from the bright light that was lancing through the window at the foot of his bed. Mumbling incoherently the boy twisted in his sheets, torn between trying to pull them over his head to shield himself from the intrusive light or burying his head in the pillows. After it became apparent that the sun, was not going to miraculously disappear, Shinji sat up in bed, his mouth tasting like an alleyway and his hair matted to the side of his head, eyes still half shut. Stifling the somewhat childish urge to shake his fist at the sun for intruding upon his rest, Shinji glanced at his bedside clock. School had yet to restart so there was no real need for him to get up early, but the sunlight had assured that he was awake whether he wanted to be or not. 8.23pm. With a inaudible groan Shinji collapsed back onto his bed, arms splayed at his sides. He hadn't gotten to sleep until late last night and he was mourning the absence of sleep. And the fact that his mouth still tasted like an alley. It was known to Shinji through bitter experience that once awake there was little chance he would be able to get back to sleep. Muttering disconsolately he swung his legs over the side of his mattress, taking care to untangle his legs before doing so. Standing he was hit with a wave of nausea and dizziness and sat back down quickly, waiting for the unpleasant sensations to pass.

_'That's what you get for not getting enough sleep.' _Standing again, more cautiously this time, Shinji slid his door open and made his way to the kitchen. On his way there he paused outside his redheaded room mate's door momentarily before continuing. It soon became apparent that none of the other occupants were awake. This came as no surprise to Shinji. Misato was sleeping and waking more irregularly than usual and her tiny avian boarder seemed in tune with the mood of the apartment and was rarely seen aside from mealtimes.

To apathetic to cook anything for breakfast Shinji dug through the cupboards for a box of generic cereal, before dumping a generous amount in a bowl and opening the fridge for the milk. Shifting bronze and white cans of Misato's 'Liquid Gold' out of the way, Shinji grasped the milk carton.

And recoiled violently as a searing pain erupted, flashing across his brow. Stumbling away from the fridge, Shinji barely felt the sudden collision with the table behind him, and hardly registered his fall to the floor. All he could feel was the crushing pressure within his skull as it tore at him with talons of agony. The Darkness came abruptly, but not soon enough.

_The pain stopped. As suddenly as it had began it ceased, leaving Shinji on the floor clutching his head for a few more seconds before he realised that this was the case. Blinking and shaking his head he hauled himself up by the table that stood poised above him. In doing so Shinji winced, only now feeling the dull ache in his back from his run in with the wooden table. His vision seemed...hazy, uncertain, prompting him to rub his eyes briefly before trying to focus again. Nothing had changed. The air seemed...grey. As he looked around the kitchen Shinji noted that in fact everything seemed grey, almost lifeless. It was as if he was stood in a washed out painting, leaving the world he knew a less vibrant shadow of itself, the colours not quite gelling the way they should. Spinning back towards the fridge in his confusion he failed to note the absolute silence that had gripped the scene. No sounds of birds, no sounds of traffic, simply silence except for his breathing and the blood rushing in his ears. _

_As his eyes came to rest on the fridge his state of confusion blazed into rampant shock, freezing his body and leaving him with goosebumps as a shiver travelled it's way up his spine. Eyes wide, Shinji stared at the fridge. Apparently when he had recoiled he had knocked the milk over and had disturbed some of the Yebisu cans lined up on the shelves. In a state of bemused disbelief, Shinji edged forward, slowly approaching the milk and the aluminium cans. Reaching out hesitantly he shagged on of the cans out of it's deceptively precarious position. Suspended in mid air. Three cans aside from the one he know held in his hand where halted in various stages of descent, hanging in space and a thin stream of milk was pouring onto the floor. _

_Shinji brought his face close to the stream of pearly liquid. The stream had yet to actually touch the floor and it's suspended state made it look a bit like a lava lamp the youth had once seen. The stream was bulbous at the bottom and stationary, about a handbreadth away from the floor. It was if the sands of time had ceased to flow, their inevitably constant fall halted as surely as that of the products that were in front of him now. _

_Panic gripped the boy. Screaming in fear he leapt away from the fridge, attempting to adopt the foetal position in mid-air, with little success. He quickly settled for scrambling into the corner of the kitchen, still staring at the cans. _

_"M-Misato! Misato, what the hell's going on! MISATO!" Receiving no response from his nominal guardian he cast about the kitchen wildly, not really knowing what it was he was looking for but knowing that once he found it, he'd then know which way to run to get _away_ from it. "MISATO!" Still scrabbling for purchase on the sides of the of the kitchen counter he threw a glance towards Misato's bedroom door. Which is why he saw the light erupt from across the room and flare towards him, devouring everything in it's path. Before he could scream it was on him, wiping the kitchen away and leaving a blank white void, so bright it hurt his eyes. It was too late to scream. He screamed anyway. For form's sake._

Abruptly sound returned. And with it... sight. He was not, however in the kitchen. Shinji's gaze roved across the scene around him. The wall before him was dominated by a giant ruby orb, covered for the most part in tarpaulin. A skeletal infrastructure of scaffolding had been set up around the object and workmen scrambled across it shouting at each other, some so small that they looked like a hive of ants.. He recognised this. Too stunned to be afraid Shinji lurched forward, only now realising that with sound, the colours he was used were present in this place, unlike they had been in the kitchen.

"This is the core...of the Forth! Misato brought me here! Dr Akagi told us about Angels and I learned about my Father's hands..." As always a wave of dark depression threatened to crash over him at the thought of his father, but before he could succumb to it's pull, familiar voices broke thought the sound of workmen behind him.

"But how can they be so similar to us, genetically I mean? The Third was at least humanoid, but this one looked like a reject from a sushi restaurant!" Spinning on the spot Shinji faced the group of three talking behind him. All three were staring upwards at the core. It was quickly apparent that they could not see him. They would have been much more animated if they could. Especially since one of them was him. Misato had just spoken questioning what her old friend had told her about the Angels being nearly genetically identical to man. The false blonde shrugged, none too eloquently.

"Their genetic information is so similar they should look almost exactly like us. The remaining discrepancy though..." She paused, grimacing to herself. "We compared the sample we have hear to the sample attained from the Third-"

"You got one from the Third? After it self-destructed?" Misato interrupted. Shinji did not remember this conversation. He looked at himself, and saw his reflection staring at the orb, though it was apparent from his dull eyes that he was not paying attention to the here and now. Or the there and then. Or whatever.

'That's right...I was thinking about my Father...and Ayanami.' Satisfied he had explained why he didn't recall the conversation that had taken place after he had learnt about his Father's hands he turned his attention back to Ritsuko who had begun to speak yet again, pride positively emanating from her voice. Darting his eyes back to the woman Shinji thought she looked like the cat that had not only found the can of cream, but had found a paw operated can-opener too. He was mildly disappointed when she didn't lick non-existent whiskers.

"The Magi were able to find fragments of the Third's core, yes. Despite it's S2 core overloading some of the Angel still survived the explosion." Shinji watched as Misato shook her head in disbelief. He felt like doing that himself. He had seen the size of the explosion on the recording later, after he had regained consciousness. He had been surprised the Eva had survived, even with the armour. Ritsuko seemed to read the Captain's discomfort. "Don't worry Misato. The thing is quite dead. We just managed to collect some fragments of core. The largest we found was no larger than an inch across." The mauve haired woman seemed to relax at that.

"So how does that explain why they are apparently almost exactly like us but look nothing like each other?" Shinji watched in detached amusement as a vein abruptly bulged out of the blonde doctor's forehead.

"It doesn't Captain. If you would let me finish however..." Misato grinned and bowed apologetically. "...as I was saying, we have not managed to completely map either Angel's genomes, but we do have a lose fit approximation of both by overlaying both of them. And both of them had the same area of discrepancy. It's like a...chameleon gene...it seems to allow creatures which should look the same to be almost completely different. Only one physical attribute remains the same. It's like nothing on Earth that we know of." Ritsuko shrugged and shook her head wryly.

"So... what does that mean?"

"It means Misato, that whatever Angels come in the future will probably look nothing like this. Each one will be different and it is almost impossible to predict what they will look like or what capabilities they will have. Only one thing about them will remain constant."

"And that is, Doctor?" It seemed Misato was irritated by Ritsuko's apparent lack of concern.

"The core. From what these two genomic patterns show us, that one fact about the Angels is immutable. They will all have a core and if you destroy the core, you destroy the Angel. Aside from that you'll have to play it by ear." The Head of Operations looked less than thrilled. Ritsuko frowned deeply prompting a further inquiry from Misato. "This genome Misato...it looks like it's mutated or been altered. I don't think we're looking at the Angel's true forms. I think that they're something completely different." Akagi moved away from the others towards the core, specifically a small area of the core that had been cut free from the giant orb and freed of it's canvas wrapping, now lying at floor level. The section stood at 10 feet tall and looked like a monolith of red marble. Misato left to follow her, leaving Shinji alone to examine Shinji.

Looking at him from only months ago he was startled to see the changes. They were subtle for the most part. He hadn't had a haircut recently, so his hair was slightly longer than it had been. Shinji almost thought that he looked smaller in the past as well. The intervening months had seen him grow some it seemed. Most noticeably though was the lack of dark circles under the younger Shinji's eyes. Every time he looked in the mirror now dark shadows hung under his eyes, testament to how little sleep he was really getting. This younger avatar did not have those...yet.

"Hey Shinji! Come look at this!" Misato's call snapped the younger Shinji out of his stupor. Invisible to all present the elder Shinji smiled quietly as he watched his commanding officer bounce back across the bay and retrieve his younger self. Always so carefree and childlike, in happier times Misato Katsuragi was the elder sister and mother he had never had. Shinji frowned as the memory of how she was now, so desolate and depressed. Staring at the floor he made his way after the others, now determined to believe that this was a weird dream and nothing more. Standing behind the group of three he watched Ritsuko smiling slightly, watching her college friend encouraging Shinji to touch the exposed section of core. Unlike most of the things Misato encouraged him to do, this was something he wouldn't mind doing. Still he looked over his shoulder for Ritsuko's approval before touching it. It was after all scientific material.

"Go ahead, Shinji. It's not like we're short of the stuff." The doctor smiled wryly, waving an arm at the huge orb hanging above them. Shinji watched himself nod and turn back to the red slab. Moving closer to get a better view Shinji watched his own hand reach out and touch the cool ruby stone. His fingers pressed against it's smooth surface and dragged up the centre. Shinji watched himself grin.

"HIYA!" The elder Shinji leapt into the air, once again trying to defend all his extremities at once and failing miserably. The voice had originated from right next to his ear. Spinning in shock Shinji found a girl, a few inches shorter than he, with dark caramel skin and golden hair trailing down her back. As he stared at her he found her eyes were the same shade of burnished gold as her hair. Backing away and falling on his ass in the process, Shinji frantically searched his memory for a girl appearing in the middle of the Nerv base and came up empty. He was running through it again when he realised that the girl was in fact staring straight at him.

Scrambling backwards on his feet and hands, Shinji desperately tried to put some distance between himself and the newcomer, deeming the dream suddenly a little to freaky for his personal comfort. The girl grinned and moved closer, her odd skirt swishing as she did so. The hem, while high at the front - just above her knees, trailed down the back of her calves at the back. Various earthen shades, dusky browns and ambers made up her outfit which comprised of the skirt and a loose wrapping and blouse on top. Shinji couldn't help but notice that her smile seemed amused rather than sadistic as she approached. Abruptly he felt his back smack into the wall behind, so it was apparent that he wasn't going anywhere. When she stood before him, she frowned slightly and looked around, as if examining her surrounding for the first time. She paused when she looked up at the giant crimson orb, suspended over them like a giant drop of blood. She turned her attention back to the boy on the floor and smiled again, somewhat sadly it seemed.

"How 'bout we talk somewhere else? There are too many distractions here." Her tone made it unclear whether she meant for herself or for him. Smiling slightly wider the girl gestured absently.

Shinji looked out over the city, high up on the outlook that Misato had taken him to see after his first battle. He leant on the rail, a little startled at the new scenery, but now absolutely content that he was in a dream.

"It's not, you know." He turned to find the girl sitting on the steel railing next to him, her legs dangling out over the edge and a whistful expression on her face.

"It's not what?"

"It's not a dream. This is all real, just not the real that you're used to." She seemed much more subdued than she had before. Suddenly she grinned and turned to him. "Don't believe me? Here." Reaching out her arm she flicked him on the back of the head.

"Hey! That..hu..rt..." Shinji's eyes went wide and he leapt away from the girl once again. She grinned wider and flipped backwards off the rail, landing lightly on her toes. Her loose clothes whipped about her in the breeze. Her face softened again, countless emotions behind her eyes as she approached him. Frozen in abject terror Shinji was unable to move as she neared him.

"We have much to talk about, Shinji Ikari...but first I need to thank you. For setting me free." Still frozen the boy did not move as she leant in and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Slowly relaxing Shinji put his hand to his cheek, when she withdrew smiling at him softly.

"S-S-Setting you free? How did I-" The girl shook her head slightly and turned away, leaning on the rail as he had been. Torn for a second Shinji followed her hesitantly, believing that she meant him no harm. As he stood at her shoulder she smiled and gestured to the spot beside her. Leaning down as he was before he examined the girl again as she stared out over Tokyo-3. She looked to be the same age as him, maybe a little younger. She began to speak, her voice soft.

"You set me free when you broke the Angel's core, my prison. Then when you touched the fragment you saw just now, the fragment in your memories, that which was me was bequeathed unto you." Shinji stared. "The Angel which you saw was my physical body warped and twisted into a puppet to dance on strings. The core... the core is where I resided, trapped and unable to escape until my shell was killed." She turned to him and smiled. "And you killed me Shinji. You set me free." Shinji stumbled away.

"W-What...y-you..I had no choice...I." She placed a dusky caramel finger against his lips.

"I'm glad you did. And so are the others."

"O-Others?" The girl nodded.

"The others that you killed. But unlike me they are still trapped within the fragments of their cores, unable to walk free." She sighed. "You are a unique individual Shinji Ikari. I have lain dormant inside you, unable to talk to you until now since the time you touched the core months ago. I tried desperately to discover why you accepted my Nihro'du and none of the others who scrambled over my prison did. I do not yet know the answer, but I hope to find out."

"I'm sorry.. butI don't understand. You've been _inside_ me all this time?" The girl nodded, her gaze on the trees that surrounded them.

"My physical body was destroyed when the Angel died. My spirit, my soul, that which is the Nihro'du is my incorporeal existence and is all that remains. And that is what resides within you." Shinji was suddenly taken back to what Ritsuko had said in the bay holding the core.

"_This genome Misato...it looks like it's mutated or been altered. I don't think we're looking at the Angel's true forms. I think that they're something completely different." _

"You were changed... weren't you?" The girl cocked her head to the side at his question. Then she nodded sadly.

"Yes. I...we do not look like the forms which you see us in. This is my true form." She gestured to herself quickly to illustrate her point. "We were changed against our wills. And when we Fell... we were warped. Becoming nothing more than puppets." A tear streaked down her face, her eyes wet with those yet to be shed. "They abused us." She whispered hoarsely. Shinji merely stood by, not knowing what to say or do. The girl turned away.

"Each of us.. we were guardians of this scape, this universe as you would call it. We were entrusted with it's protection at the beginning of time, to protect it and watch over it's inhabitants until the petals of it's existence close once more and all is dark again. Until the next time." Turning back to Shinji it seemed that she had regained her composure, her wild golden eyes meeting his. "The 'scape' exists forever. But 'forever' only means until the end of time. When time ends so does forever. 'Eternal' is outside time, it simply is, irrespective of time. That is what we are. We exist and always have and always will. But each time we exist... we fall." She shuddered violently and held out a trembling hand to steady herself on the rail. Shinji moved forward without thinking and grasped her arm, trying to lend her his strength. She looked at him in askance and he pulled his hand away awkwardly when he realised what he had done. Looking away the girl wrapped her arms around herself. Eventually she began to speak again.

"The universe exists forever and then dies, again and again into eternity. But every time we are used to destroy the lilim, _it _rips away a part of the universe. It leaves a rent in the fabric of the scape. Gaping holes in the firmament where there is simply nothing there the next time the universe is born. The scape screams in pain for those who can hear it. It shrieks in agony and terror. Each time it is reborn it is a little less. That is how the being beyond the gate feeds." Her voice was subdued, now returning to a whisper and Shinji could see her quaking in fear of this being she spoke of. "Someday_ it _will consume all there is. And then there will be nothing." Wrapping her arms tighter around herself, she looked like she was about to cry once again. "When it controls us, _it _tells us it will devour us one day. It will swallow our eternal souls and we will be no more. And we cannot stop it." Abruptly the dark skinned girl began to sob, quaking in fear and sorrow. Feeling useless once again Shinji hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder. Looking at him through teary eyes the girl threw herself at him and sobbed on his chest, while the boy stood still as a statue, unsure how to deal with this sudden development.

Females treating him like this was unheard of, and he was seriously considering jumping over the railing behind him as a viable escape route. Eventually calming down slightly he loosely placed his arms around her back and held her while she cried, not knowing what else to do. After an age her crying slowed. Still pressing herself against his chest for comfort the young woman began to speak again.

"Every time the lilim fall a little bit more of then universe dies. Soon the fabric will unravel, and the universe in it's entirety will be devoured." He voice was quiet in the cool air of the overlook, the sounds of the city too distant to intrude. Swallowing nervously Shinji spoke.

"W-Why does it matter if humans survive or not? I mean we're not that essential to the universe, are we?" The girl looked up to meet his eyes and he sensed surprise in her eyes at his question.

"The lilim are the Children of God. It is only you and you alone that stand between the universe and.. and the darkness. Every time the lilim die so does the 'scape'. You're combined souls hold the gate closed. Should you all die then that barrier disappears." Shinji had a flash of insight, while thinking that she had not been about to say 'the darkness'. She had been about to say something else.

"You're talking about an AT Field aren't you?" The girl nodded.

"Yes, what you call an AT Field. Each lilim has one, but together you hold the.. the darkness back with the combined might of all the Children of Lilith. Had one of us come into contact with either Adam or Lilith, then you're AT Fields would have been stripped from you and the shield would be gone." She moved away from Shinji and met his gaze evenly. "This is the first time that we have all been defeated. The first time that the lilim have survived our attack. With all of us dead there is no-one else for the darkness to control."

"Then, that's good right? It means the dangers over?" The girl smiled tremulously up at him.

"I hope that is the case, yes. In this state I can do no harm and nor can the others."

"Did they all survive?" Shinji felt a glimmer of hope.

"Yes. All are trapped within shards of their cores, scattered across the world. I can sense them vaguely. I know they are out there but I do not know where."

"So Kaworu-"

"Is gone. He was not truly one of us. He was as Rei Ayanami is. An artificial Angel, a construct. His soul was not the same as ours. His was human and it has gone where the souls of all other lilim go in death. He has returned to Lilith." Shinji felt his brief hope stutter and die and in it's death it brought waves of sorrow and depression.

"I am sorry for his death. But it was the only way for the universe to live. I know that is not consolation for a friend's death, but it is what he wanted I think." Shinji smiled tightly at the concerned girl, startled at how quickly he had forgotten that she was, in essence, the second Angel that he had killed. He suddenly felt tired, as if his life had been leached out of him and nothing but an empty exhaustion remained. There was only one question left now.

"So what now then? What do you need from me? What is it you expect me to do?" His tone was cold and flat. The girl looked startled and seemed to have trouble meeting his gaze, disturbed by his sudden change of mood. Shinji grunted and turned away, moving apart from the girl and returning to looking out over Tokyo-3. In the sudden silence a car appeared from behind them and disappeared round the corner, taking it away from the city. Shinji no longer cared if this was reality or a perfect illusion and dismissed the vehicle from his mind. After the sound of the car had faded Shinji heard the girl approach him hesitantly.

"I-I have no right to ask this of you..." She paused. "Please... the others are still trapped in their cores...I can't help them alone. I need help." Shinji felt himself snap.

"So, you want me to wander across the globe, looking for the remnants of the creatures that tried to destroy humanity. Do I understand you correctly?" He wasn't sure but he thought she was crying again. "I have killed a friend and maimed another. One was mind-raped before my eyes and I could do nothing to stop the death of the closest thing I have to family. All because of my weakness and the Angels. Give me one good reason that I should help you." He could hear her sobs once again and felt them tug at his heart. Stolidly he ignored her tears. He was sick of being used, of having his life hijacked. Eventually the girl fell silent.

"I cannot. There are no reasons for you to help me. I'm sorry." All Shinji could hear was the gentle wind ruffling the leaves of the trees that stood behind him. The breeze brushed his longer bangs in front of his eyes, obscuring his view of the steel and stone edifices that towered above the streets of Tokyo-3 for a few seconds. He sighed and turned around, finding the girl staring at the floor. He could see the dark patches on the road where her tears had fallen.

"What's you're name?" His voice was steady and even. How could he be nervous in such absurd circumstances as these? Shinji felt exhausted and was beginning to loath himself for the decision that he could fell himself starting to make. The girl looked up and Shinji could easily see that all her crying had given her red eyes and the tear streaks on her face were clearly visible. She smiled softly through her tears, a smile so sorrowful it was heart wrenching.

"My name is Shamshel." Sighing deeply Shinji looked away from her, not feeling up to meeting her eyes.

"Give me time to think about it. I'm not making any promises...give me time to think." Out of the corner of his eye he could see Shamshel's smile turn brilliant and he turned away further. He didn't see her approach him and nearly jumped when he felt her lips against his cheek for a second time. "Hey, I said I wasn't making any promises!" Shamshel shook her heat, her golden eyes shining once again.

"I know. But you're thinking about it. That's more than most would do." Now suddenly animated and gleeful the dusky skinned girl leapt over Shinji and landed perfectly on the railing behind them. Standing on the thin plain of metal she turned back to the boy. "Shall we go home then, Shinji?" The boy turned back to the view and nodded silently. Shamshel hesitated.

"Shinji... I don't know what will happen when we go back. You are the first lilim in eternity to have accepted a Nihro'du. I think the most that will happen is that you can hear my voice. You might not be able to respond, but you should at least be able to hear me. So be prepared ok?" Listening attentively to the young woman's explanation, Shinji nodded once again.

Shamshel beamed at him over her shoulder and flourished her hands in a intricate pattern Shinji couldn't follow. His last fleeting thought echoed in his mind unnnervingly

_'What could control an Angel?'_ Whatever it was he never wanted to meet it.

* * *

"Ouch." Shinji stared at the ceiling from his position, flat on his back in the middle of the kitchen. Slowly levering himself up from the floor he saw that the fridge door was open. Three cans of Yebisu and a puddle of milk was on the floor, only a few drops falling from the overturned carton. Instantly he stiffened, waiting to hear Shamshel's voice or to see anything indicating she was trying to contact him. He lay on the floor silent and waiting. Eventually he noticed that Pen-Pen was staring at him like he was an idiot, his beak and eyes peeking around the corner of his fridge. Blushing and feeling like a fool, Shinji scrambled to his feet, hurrying to clean up the mess on the floor so he had an excuse to avoid the penguin's mocking gaze.

_'Dammit I refuse to be mocked by a penguin!'_

"Y'know Pen-Pen I think I'll let Misato cook tonight. It's been a while since I've eaten someone else's cooking. What do you think?" The penguin glared at him and withdrew hastily into his frozen abode. Shinji was left feeling slightly depressed that outsmarting a three foot bird gave him so much satisfaction.

Leaning back on the counter, the mess tidied away Shinji considered his earlier episode.

"Was it just a dream...?" _'It must have been. That would just never happen in reality. I must have knocked myself out or fainted or something. Besides I haven't heard any voices or anything. It must have been a dream.'_ Resolute in his decision, Shinji abandoned the idea of breakfast, no longer feeling as hungry as he had been before. Instead he opted to head straight into the shower, deciding to make the best of his guardian's temporary absence. Quickly returning to his room to retrieve his toiletries Shinji slipped across the corridor to the bathroom, not wanting to awaken his guardian if she was still asleep.

Locking the door behind him, a habit he had aquired after Asuka had insisted they have a lock installed on the bathroom at least he quickly stripped... and promptly fell over. After he scrambled back to his feet, he stared at himself in the mirror. The red mark on his cheek where his face had impacted with the floor caught his attention briefly but that was not what held his gaze. His normally rakishly thin frame had... changed. Shinji was no expert with such matters, but he thought his muscles, such as they were, looked more toned then they had. The abstract thought that Touji would probably be able to tell him flittered fleetingly across his mind. There was no major change and when fully clothed no one would notice a difference, but in some indefinable way he looked different than he had remembered himself looking.

_'Maybe that bump on the head messed me up more than I thought.'_ He mused turning away from the mirror. Then he had an aneurysm.

"What the holy hell?" Shamshel was stood directly behind him, looking as shocked as he felt. Her golden eyes were wide and she was gaping at him, staring at his face in shock. He watched as the girls eyes slowly traveled away from his face in a decidedly downward direction. They stopped again and her dusky brown cheeks bloomed a soft rose.

"AH!" Shinji wasn't sure which surprised him more, seeing her at all, or seeing her in the bathroom while he was buck naked. He knew which of the two he was less pleased about though.

Shamshel, still frozen in place barely noticed a pink fleshed tornado gather his things and flash past her, running into the door twice before remembering to unlock it, mildly concussing himself in the process. Her blush intensified and she swallowed loudly.

* * *

Misato Katsuragi was lying in, trying to sleep away her sorrows, since it was too early in the morning to drown herself in beer, even by her standards. Her finely attuned 'Beer Sense' had shunted her out of a troubled sleep when the cans of Yebisu tumbled from the fridge, but Misato was too tired to be paying much attention and merely spun in her futon, attempting to claw her way back to sleep. For a time the Nerv Major succeeded and fell into a land of happier dreams, consisting notably of dancing beer cans and endless sources of curry flavoured ramen.

Sadly just when she was in the midst of her dance with a six foot silver can of Yebisu, surrounded by other dancing couples made comprising of various alcoholic beverages she was torn out of her slumber by a jumbled roar of incredulity.

"...Shin..ji...?" Blinking repeatedly, Misato grunted, before a second yell galvanised her into action. Rolling off her futon and into the nearest pile of neatly stacked garbage, burying herself in five year old beauty magazines, she crawled rapidly across the floor of her room, avoiding deathtraps and the earlier instances of her cooking which were chained rather docilely to the wall, slamming her door open just in time to see Shinji running out of the bathroom, his arms full of toiletries, and not a stitch of clothing on.

"MISATO! Thank God! There's ah...Misato what are you looking at me like that for?"

* * *

It suddenly occurred to the young pilot that things were not going the way he could have wished. Firstly there was no way he was going to tell Misato Katsuragi that a girl who used to be an Angel had magically appeared in their bathroom. Nor would it have made a difference apparently because Shamshel had just passed him and was standing in front of his commanding officer and waving a hand in front of her face, without any apparent result. Even more nauseating, she then proceeded to pass her hand _through_ Misato's head with the same lack of response.

"Doesn't look like she can see or feel me. I think it's because I'm not really here..." She had turned around now and suddenly trailed off abruptly. Shinji was confronted by two women, one with golden hair and one with purple staring at him. Then in unnerving unison their gazes traveled away from his face to stop at a point that was noticeably lower. Once again in disturbing synchronisation, they cocked their heads to the side slightly and blushed.

Memory caught up with him and he felt a distinctive draft were no draft should be.

"AGH!" Spinning on his heel he blurred back to his room, dropping his toiletries in the process and leaving a Shinji shaped afterimage in the air in front of the two women. The two women didn't stop staring even after he had gone.

* * *

Shinji lay on his bed glaring at Shamshel who had the grace to look sheepish from her position, cross-legged on the floor. After his earlier escapade he had dressed and tried to convince Misato that his apparent earlier bout of temporary insanity was nothing to be concerned about. She would no doubt tease him mercilessly about this for some time to come.

"I didn't think our interaction would be this extensive. I thought the limit would be perhaps being able to talk to each other, not anything like this." The bronze skinned girl was talking animatedly, bursting with excitement. Shinji found it hard to echo her enthusiasm.

"But what is going on? Why can I see you?" The girl grinned at him.

"I think I'm projecting an image of myself from within you and you alone can see it. So far it's happened instinctively, but if I concentrate I think I can dissolve the image." As he watched she closed her eyes, seemingly focusing. With a quake in the air like thunder without sound she was gone, leaving afterimages in the air, almost like ripples on water. _"It worked!" _Shinji glanced around quickly finding that her image was totally gone._ "I'm within you! And... I think if you try you can come here to..." _She trailed off obviously confused at the logistics of him going into himself. Shinji wasn't too thrilled about it either.

"Say what? How can I go into myself?" He sensed both confusion and amusement from her, a presence like a weight in the centre of his torso, an itch that had not been there before. It wasn't an itch that needed scratching though, it seemed to merely be making it's presence known. It felt like she had commandeered a portion of his body for herself.

_"The spirit and the mind are separate and one at the same time. While one can exist without the other, the whole is much stronger than the sum of it's parts."_

"...Wuh?" Shinji felt that quoting Touji was best at a time like this. He heard Shamshel sigh.

_"I think if you concentrate you can delve into yourself to where I now reside. Please just try ok? I want to know the answer!" _She sounded like a little child, not wanting anything kept secret from her thought Shinji.

_'What harm can it do?'_ He frowned when he realised how stupid a question that really was.

_"None at all." _She laughed, a loud sound full of cheer and joy. Shinji however frowned.

"Wait a minute, you heard that?" She answered in the affirmative in a tone that clearly question his need to ask. "I didn't say that." _'I thought it.' _ She was silent at this revelation. "Does that mean you can hear my thoughts?" This was something Shinji felt understandably uncomfortable with.

_"I think if they are directed at me, then yes I can here them." _She paused. _"Well come on then, concentrate, concentrate! I wanna know! Pleeaassee...?"_ Shinji sighed and mused to himself that having a woman co-inhabit his mind was not something to celebrate. Closing his eyes he tried to concentrate, a task made inordinately harder because he wasn't sure what he was meant to be concentrating on. It occurred to him randomly that if Shamshel wanted to she could be beyond annoying from her position safe inside his head. He remembered her smile, beaming at him.

_'Yeah, well, she's all smiles now but-'_

"YOU DID IT!" His eyes snapped open and he found himself in a field standing under a lone tree, whose branches arched out over his head. Spinning to find the source of the voice he found Shamshel sitting on a low branch in the tree, grinning happily. Pushing herself off she landed at Shinji's side and hugged him suddenly. "You did it! I was right!" She pulled back and continued to beam at him. Blushing furiously Shinji tried to distract himself from the fact that he was being hugged by a girl who had seen him naked twice.

"W-Where-" He stopped, somewhat embarrassed that his voice came out in a squeak. "Where are we?" Shamshel bounced away and spun around under the tree in joy.

"We're in one of your oldest memories Shinji. I don't know why we ended up here but I like it. What about you?" Shinji gazed out across the Apparently endless field, watching the ankle length grass shift in the light breeze. The sun was high in the sky and there wasn't a cloud in sight. Crouching down by a small cluster of yellow and white flowers Shinji tried to remember where this memory had come from, but he could not recall.

"Yes... I think I like it here too." He spun back to Shamshel, finding her gazing out across the field as he had. "So what now?"

"I think you should go back to you're body soon. If someone finds you while you are here then they might get worried." Shinji nodded in agreement. Misato was already worried about him. If she found him spaced out now he'd be having one to one sessions with Ritsuko about how he wet his bed once at the age of four before he could throw enough beers at her to keep her distracted. Closing his eyes again and thinking of his body, he opened his eyes to find himself face to face with a penguin.

"Wah?" Recoiling in shock Shinji leant back away from Pen-pen, who had been about an inch away from his face. Which was the only thing that saved his avian roommates life. Two curved spikes of ivory shot out of his lower forearm, one a few inches above the other. Jutting out of his arm at a forty-five degree angle and pointed up past his elbow they were long enough to meet his shoulder. As it was the spikes had slide past the penguins head, one on either side and impaled the wall behind him, so that they acted as horizontal bars on either side of him. Shinji wasn't sure if Pen-Pen's eyes were wider than his, but either way it was a close race. The penguin slowly edged downwards, and scooted sideways with great precision so that he was free of his impromptu prison. Keeping his wide unblinking eyes on the startled boy, he backed away towards the door. He was halfway there before he spun and made a run, well a waddle, for it.

Still staring at where his newly acquired ivory spikes impaled the wall, Shinji mentally threw a frantic question at Shamshel, resulting in her suddenly appearing next to him. Her gasp, silent to anyone else was perfectly audible to him. Slowly he removed the spikes from the wall, leaving two nicely rounded holes in their wake. Flexing his arm unconsciously they abruptly retracted into his forearm, leaving smooth unblemished skin.

Shamshel stared at him, muttering to herself.

"Physical alterations? Has taking in my Nihro'du given him my abilities as well...?"

"WHAT THE HELL?" It was hard to scream and whisper at the same time but Shinji gave it his best shot under the circumstances. Then he heard hurried footsteps outside his room and switched his gaze to the holes in his wall, the gears in his brain churning.

* * *

It had not been a good day thus far for Misato Katsuragi. Not that seeing Shinji's... not-so-little-friend wasn't without it's perks but after that she found that she had to fend for herself at breakfast and seeing as she was fairly certain that if she attempted to make toast she'd burn the apartment complex down, she had settled for dry cereal, seeing as all the milk had disappeared. She had then, in true Misato Katsuragi fashion, decided that it was not the taste of milk that made cornflakes palatable but the fact that it was wet. Ergo any liquid substance would be an adequate alternative.

She was halfway through her third bowl of her newly christened breakfast, 'Yebisu Flakes', when her warm water penguin waddled into the kitchen at high speed and started jumping up and down frantically in front of her, obviously distressed. After watching him gyrate in panic for a few minutes and quashing an absurd desire to refer to her first roommate as 'Skippy' and ask him if anyone was trapped down a well, she gathered that her pet was upset.

Getting a surprisingly good grip on her pant's leg with a flipper Pen-Pen proceeded to drag Misato to outside Shinji's door, where his spastic dance of panic continued. After a few more minutes of hesitant thought, resultant of those 'Yebisu Flakes', Misato knocked on her ward's door and after receiving a somewhat strangled aknowledgement slid the door open.

Shinji was sat on his bed, leaning on a pillow which was leaning against his wall and thumbing through an old manga, which appeared to be upside down and throwing a rather strained smile at her.

"What's up Misato?" The mauve haired woman said nothing, very conscious of her terrified penguin hiding behind her leg. Scanning Shinji's room for anything unusual she found nothing readily noticeable, so she turned her attention back to the boy.

"Hey Shinji. Whatcha doin?" She put on her best childish grin, trying to put him at ease.

"Oh, nothing much. Just reading really, y'know killing time." Misato noticed that his voice seemed rather strangled. She also noticed that he wasn't actually looking at her, but at a point a little to the right of her head. It gave her the unnerving feeling that there was someone behind her and she had to restrain her desire to turn and look. Suddenly Shinji's face dropped slightly, as if he had seen something slightly unpleasant. Feeling a little bit disturbed she gave a quick wave and decided to leave the boy to his own devices.

"Well, I just came to check on you. See ya later!"

* * *

Shinji breathed a sigh of relief, opening his mouth to say something to Shamshel, before realising that Pen-Pen was still standing in the doorway looking faintly accusing. Shinji grinned sheepishly and shrugged. The bird remained stoic before exiting his room after Misato and Shinji got the distinct feeling that the bird suddenly had a very personal vendetta against him.

Removing the pillow from the wall uncovering the two round holes in the wall he turned to the dark skinned girl and frowned. Watching her waving her hand in front of and then through Misato's face had been a little nauseating.

"Ok. What the hell is going on?" Shinji felt it was good that he was being calm. Shinji felt it was good that he had not broken down into a sobbing wreck of terror. Shinji felt it was good that his guardian did not know he had spikes randomly growing out of him. Shinji thought this was all good.

Shinji did not think the somewhat guilty smile on Shamshel's face was good. Not good at all.

* * *

_Well there it is people. The first chapter of XVII. The title isn't really that hard to figure out if you think about it. Just as a couple of side notes, firstly this is not a Shinji/Shamshel fic. Secondly the spikes on his arms were based loosely on the vibrating blades possessed by Guyver 3 in the anime and manga 'Bio Booster Armour Guyver', with one above the other, in white ivory bone rather than grey whateverthehell.. Check the net for a pic. It'll be explained later. I'm not going to say when this will be updated because I want to do things a little slower than last time. Hopefully that will mean that the quality will be a little more consistent. Perfect Grade alterations for 'Send in the Rei's' will be up soon. Please read and review. Hulk Smash. Indeed._

_Ja ne..._

_Must resist temptation to start on next chapter...must temptation...must... dies _


	2. Tears

_Well I suppose here goes part 2 of what looks to be an agonizingly long fic. It's just as well that my schedule is pretty free until September. Still have to find a job for the interim though... and unless there's an anime watching job going in my area that I don't know about that's gonna suck. Anyway, let the fic begin! Well, continue. Even though in a sense this is a new chapter so it's beginning again, sort of. So let it continue to begin! Or begin to continue. I hate you all, you know._

**XVII: Tears**

Shinji knew that he was not the most mentally or emotionally stable person in the world. As such he was pleasantly surprised to find that he was in fact _not_ on the floor of his room curled into a ball and rocking back and forth whimpering. He felt that this was a personal success. Instead he was sat on his bed and leveling a very calm, collected and most importantly, not hysterical look at Shamshel, a bronze skinned girl who claimed to be the spiritual essence of the Forth Angel and who was now seemingly bonded to him.

Shinji could feel the urge to curl up becoming nearly overpowering.

Shamshel kept darting glances between his forearm and the wall, where two nearly perfect holed had been bored. Only a few tiny cracks were leading away from each, a testament to the precision of the hole's creation. Eventually she seemed to calm down and her slightly guilty gaze settled on Shinji's own.

"This could have something to do with me..." Shinji was extremely familiar with sarcasm, mostly as a direct result of living with Misato and Asuka, and he was more than willing to put his familiarity with sarcasm to good use, but mastered himself to the best of his ability.

"What makes you think that?" The look he received conveyed that his control was far from iron clad. He waved it off and spoke again. "Sorry. What has this got to do with you?" The golden eyed young woman bounced down at the foot of his bed as Shinji moved back a little to make room.

"My memories of our fight are... cloudy but I think most of my abilities were short range, right? The body I was given was designed primarily for close quarters combat and the weaponry I had was suited to that purpose." The listening boy absently rubbed his stomach through his shirt, imagining that he could still feel the vibrant whips lance through his body. He agreed that they were certainly suited to their purpose. "I think you have... inherited that characteristic. Whatever those things were, by the way they carved open that wall they seem to be effective. I think it's the same mechanism, just adapting itself to suit you're bodily configuration." It sounded reasonable. Freaky, but reasonable.

"So, I've got those bone things inside my arms now?" Shinji traced his fingers across where the spikes had erupted from his skin, slightly nervous in his probing. Shamshel watched in curiosity, as interested as Shinji in the results of the cursory examination. Lightly touching both sides of his forearm Shinji shook his head in wonder. "No way. There's no way that something that big could be inside my arm. There isn't enough room." He gestured helplessly, indicating the thinness of his arm.

The girl shook her head.

"I think it's more likely that the bones in your arm have developed the ability to calcify at tremendous speeds. Basically every time you need those... blades or whatever they are, the bones in your arms make them by creating bone on demand." She shrugged. "It's pretty cool if you think about it." Shinji found himself agreeing absently before realising how absurd the situation was. His cheek was beginning to hurt as well. Touching it lightly he found it was very tender.

It seemed that his avian roommate had tried to snap him out of his 'trance' by slapping him a couple of times. A penguin's flipper was quite firm and stung considerably if you were hit with it. This new realization made him feel slightly less guilty about nearly turning him into a penguin kebab.

He began to flex his arm the way he had before, but paused and moved away from the walls slightly. He was unsure how he was going to explain the two holes already there without making more. Cautiously flexing his arm, he watched as the bone scythes slowly slipped through his arm, parting the skin without blood. He switched his gaze to his other arm and repeated the procedure, providing the same results. Shamshel flipped to her feet, looking far to excited for the boy's liking. Slowly circling around him, he heard her gasp once she saw his back and quickly turned his head to find out what had disturbed her, fearing that he had grown a tail without noticing. Unfortunately she continued to move with him, following so that she was always had his back in sight. This resulted in Shinji spinning on the spot trying to catch up with Shamshel who seemed content to remain just outside of his view.

Eventually Shinji stopped, feeling like an idiot.

"There's more calcification back here. It's not like your arms but it's like you've got a layer of bone just under the skin over your spine." Shinji retracted his blades and reached over fearfully to touch the indicated areas. As he touched it, he could feel the unnatural hardness of the skins surface. It melted away as he probed further though. "Hmm. Looks like it's triggered the same as the blades. It just takes a little longer to disappear." Shinji wasn't listening. It had only just occurred to him that he had dismissed the bone scythes almost without thought, with none of the care and caution he had used to summon them. It was as if it were second nature to him, something he could do without thinking, like breathing. He was not comfortable with that thought.

Sitting heavily on the bed, reality crashed down upon him.

"What the hell's happening to me...?" Shamshel paused and crouched next to him so that she was looking up into his face, unsure how to offer comfort. She opened her mouth, unsure what to say. He noticed her presence as she was about to speak. "If you wouldn't mind I'd like some time to myself please." The boy smiled weakly as he made the request, not looking at her. He didn't see her face drop at her perceived failure to cheer him up, but did look up in time to see her sad face fade from view as she allowed herself to be pulled back inside him, into the forgotten memory she seemed to like.

Shinji found his hands reaching out for his SDAT before he had thought about it, seeking the oblivion the music brought, even if he really didn't listen to it anymore. He sighed realising that it hadn't really helped him in a long time. The memories were still there and so were the new truths that he had to accept. Playing music wasn't going to help.

Sitting on his bed, the ancient SDAT player cradled in his hands, Shinji was startled to hear someone knock on his door. Putting down the cassette player Shinji moved to his door, sliding it open to reveal his mauve haired guardian, fully dressed in her Nerv uniform.

"C'mon Shinji! You've got sync tests today, remember?" Actually he hadn't. Since the.. death of the seventeenth Angel, Shinji's sync ratio had dropped continuously. It now stood at just below his initial ratio when he had first piloted the Evangelion against the Third. Sitting in the plug that had swallowed his mother had become harder and harder since his friend had died. He was so wrapped up in trying to flee the memories that without any reference point he no longer knew what day it was most of the time. He wasn't quite sure now.

"Yes, Misato. Let's get going." He walked past her, his voice flat and unemotional.

His guardian followed him with her eyes, suddenly feeling that she was missing too much of her ward's life.

_'I could never be a mother.'_

_

* * *

_

Humanity had survived many predators in it's bid to claw it's collective way to the top of the food chain. Many species were stronger, many were faster and many were more durable, but very few were metallic blue, rear-wheel drive only or driven by Misato Katsuragi, the woman who violated several international laws by simply getting inside an automobile. Unable to adopt the crash position because of his seat belt, Shinji settled for screaming incoherently ever so often as another of the laws of physics was sideswiped out of the way. Currently he was trying not to look out of the passenger window, because Misato's last corner had left the car on two wheels and his view now consisted of tarmac whizzing past at speeds that made him nauseous to think about. Slowing briefly to allow the car to fall back onto it's allocated four wheels, Misato continued to ignore traffic regulations, traffic signs, the policeman clinging to the front window and the new summer line which_ had _been adorning the front window of a major department store. It was _now_ adorning the front bumper and the aforementioned policeman in about equal measure.

_'Who'd have thought he would look good in pastel pink?' _Trying to avoid making awkward eye contact with the officer, who was now clinging to the windscreen wiper for purchase and shrieking loudly, Shinji concentrated on the ecstatic cries of glee that were emanating from inside his head. Shamshel had stopped being silent about five seconds after Misato had turned the key. About the same time Shinji started screaming really. He was glad in a way that she was enjoying herself so much. Watching her downcast face fade from view had made Shinji feel guilty.

_'It's her first time talking to someone in God knows how long. I should try to be more understanding of her. It's not her fault after all.' _Besides she struck him as someone naturally cheerful, like Asuka at times but without the... everything else. Seeing her so despondent made him feel like he'd smacked a puppy with a golf-club. As much as he could feel any emotion aside from abject terror when Misato was driving - _'There goes the officer... straight into the cafe window...'_ - he felt glad that she wasn't sad any longer.

Most of the time Shinji stayed silent during the trips to and from Nerv with his guardian. Admittedly this was mostly lately he'd been too depressed to talk much, but it was also because any conversation he had with his raven haired guardian was punctuated with embarrassingly girlish shrieks and frantic orders to 'not maim the innocents' on the sidewalks.

So Shinji was content to stay silent during the journey, listening to the woops and howls of joy inside his head and implanting his fingers further and further into the dashboard.

Arriving at Nerv HQ, Shinji forwent his usual ritual of kissing the ground and thanking Buddha that he was still alive, when he was certain that Misato wasn't watching. Instead he followed the Major through the maze of corridors, refraining from yelping in fright when Shamshel materialised next to him, looking as if she had coalesced from the particles in the air. Throwing a small smile at Shinji, she still looked a little hurt and guilty. Despite the growing depression and emotional detachment he felt as they walked deeper into the corridors, he smiled at her as best he could after he had confirmed Misato wasn't watching. Her small smile transformed into a beam in return. Splitting off from Misato at the intersection that would lead him to the pilot's changing rooms, a thought occurred to him as he watched Shamshel looking around her like a awe struck child, eyes wide at the size of the complex.

"Shamshel... are Nerv gonna be able to detect you're presence here? I mean like when I'm in the Eva?" The girl grinned at him and shook her head.

"Nope. I've been inside since that time you touched my core remember? If they didn't notice then, they won't notice now." Shinji relaxed and turned the last corner into the changing rooms. Seeing Rei's silhouette on the other side of the dividing curtain the boy paused and frowned, before hurrying to his locker to retrieve his plug-suit. Quickly stripping off his shirt he realised with a start that Shamshel was still with him. In his surprise he slammed his leg into a locker, causing a resounding clang to echo in the locker room. He hopped around the room alternating between nursing his shin and glaring silently at the giggling girl only he could see.

"Pilot Ikari? Is there something wrong?" Shinji trying to freeze in place mid-hop and nearly fell over, catching himself at the last minute stopping his fall.

"E-Everything is fine Ayanami. Just an accident, that's all." Shinji could see her shadow shifting on the other side of the curtain before she responded.

"Very well." He heard the distinctive sound of her plug-suit pressurising and the door opening to let her out. He released a breath he didn't realize he had been holding and turned to the bronze girl.

"A little privacy?" Shamshel blushed quickly and hurried through the curtain to the girl's half of the locker room. Changing hurriedly, he fought the instinctive shudder he fell prey to every time he watched her do things like that. Slipping the connecters into place in his hair, he pressed the small button on his wrist that pressurised the suit, moulding it to his body. He had a quick flashback to the first time he had met Asuka and thanked the powers that be that at least this suit was designed with men in mind. Her's had been a little uncomfortable.

Apparently hearing the telltale sign of the suits activation, Shamshel stuck her head through the curtain, much to Shinji's discomfort. Seeing him dressed, she walked through the completely insubstantial barrier and stood next to him. Feeling a little uncomfortable standing in a suit that emphasised just how thin he actually was, Shinji took note that the fabric was actually feeling a little tight around the chest, arms and across his back as well. The suits, because they pressurised and moulded to the body of the wearer, did not have to be replaced very often. The one he wore now was pretty much the same as the one he had always worn and had not needed adjusting to compensate for his extra inches of growth during his time at Nerv. He suddenly wondered if he should talk to Dr Akagi about replacing the suit.

Shrugging it off he turned to Shamshel.

"What are you going to do when I'm in my plug? You can't come in with me anyway. It'll distract me and they will certainly notice that." The girl grinned.

"I'll hang out on the bridge and watch. Break a leg!" Cheerfully disappearing through the door, once again without it opening, she left Shinji to muse that, that was one injury he had yet to suffer. Soon the only sounds he heard were the soft padding of his own feet as he walked down the corridor towards his Evangelion.

* * *

Shamshel watched the main display intently, a large screen showing the plug's internal feeds. Shinji's plug depth was deeper than that of the cerulean haired girl, who was being tested in Asuka's Unit 02 in her absence. The destruction of her machine had led to repeated testing in the red Evangelion, hoping to provide Nerv with at least too battle ready Evas. The recent rounds of testing had all been conducted inside the actual plugs rather than the test-bodies. For Rei it was too provide the Magi with a set of data parameters so they could re-configure Unit 02 for her effectively, should they be able to do so. For Shinji it was hoped this would boost his flagging scores.

Shamshel had found that she was unable to 'project' herself any significant distance. As things stood she was at the limit of her range, straining to keep herself together. If her concentration broke she would whiplash back into Shinji, and she wasn't sure what such an abrupt return would do to either of them. She was wound so tight now that she was unable to ease herself back into Shinji. She feared that she would waver and lose control. Besides that another feeling kept her here. A feeling that had strengthened as she approached the Evangelions. Unable to investigate further on her own, she had opted to remain where she was.

The eternally energetic girl studied the young man's concentrated face as he sought to sync with the puppet that swallowed his mother from her position between the two male technicians. Aside from them and another young woman the only two people present were Misato and a Ritsuko Akagi, a name she knew from Shinji's memory alone.

The test had been running for an hour already and since she knew better than to distract Shinji, she had nothing to do. To be blunt, she was bored. Settling down in the middle of the floor she adopted a cross legged position and leant her chin on her palm, she waited for the test to end so she could talk to Shinji again. It had been longer than she could remember since she had been able to talk to one of her brethren and any conversations with Shinji were cherished. It had made her sad when it seemed he didn't want to talk to her anymore. It made her feel like a burden. It was a feeling she didn't have often and one she did not like.

Frowning momentarily as she contemplated this, she was jarred out of her introspection by the blonde doctor's words.

"Looks like Shinji's score has gone up a little. He's just about back to where he was before." Relation's between the Major and the blonde woman seemed strained, pressured by recent events and factors that Shamshel had no knowledge of.

"He is slowly getting better then." Misato's tone was flat, making it clear she had little to say to Dr Akagi, though pitching her voice low to make sure that the feed to the plug did not pick it up. The blonde ignored her reticence to talk.

"He needs to get better faster. What would happen if there was another Angel attack in the near future. We would be defenseless." Misato scowled at the woman as she finished speaking.

"Not so long ago he killed a friend Ritsuko!" Her voice softened. "Give him time to grieve." Ritsuko snorted.

"The Fifth Child was an Angel-"

"The Fifth Child was Shinji's friend. That's all that matters to him."

"Right now Shinji is the only defense mankind has. We don't have the luxury of him being childish Misato!" Enraged the mauve haired woman spun on the doctor, scowling.

"Perhaps you should consider that Shinji can walk away from this anytime he want's to Ritsuko! And there is nothing here to hold him! I thank God every day he decides to stay! You think you could do his job Ritsuko? You think you could have fought the Angels?" It was becoming apparent that the other three people on duty were becoming uncomfortable in the tense atmosphere, their posts forgotten as they shot each other uneasy glances and tried to ignore what was happening behind them.

"I can't pilot the Eva, Misato! Only he can! It's his duty!" Misato snorted.

"You wouldn't even have the guts to get inside an Eva! But you're happy to send a child into battle for you!"

"He has to pilot the Eva Misato! We don't have any other choices! No one else can even sync with Unit 01." The two women glared at each other while Shamshel and the other's watched. Rei Ayanami's voice split the tearse silence

"It is difficult to concentrate when there is so much outside noise. Are you going to continue?" Shamshel watched as Misato blanched and spun to the monitor, ignoring Ritsuko entirely. Shamshel followed her gaze. The pictures of the two pilots side by side still dominated the screen and it was obvious that the majority of the argument had been audible to both pilots.

Rei Ayanami's crimson eyes pinioned the bridge crew, her face flat and devoid of emotion. Shamshel believed however that a hint of anger stirred in the depths though. Anger at the distraction, or anger at their carelessness bordering on stupidity was not clear. Turning her attention to Shinji, she saw his eyes were closed as they had been before but his jaws were clenched, the only sign he gave that he had heard. Misato looked crushed and even Ritsuko seemed sheepish at her outburst.

"Shinji... I-"

"It's ok Misato. Don't worry about it." His eyes remained closed. It seemed to surprise everyone when he spoke again. "And do not worry Dr Akagi. I won't be leaving any time soon. I have no where else to go." With that the internal feed cut off, leaving the picture of Rei alone on the screen. The three techs looked astonished at Shinji's words, giving Shamshel the impression that he didn't speak in such a manner often. Ritsuko Akagi avoided meeting anyone's gaze. Misato looked like she was about to burst into tears. The insubstantial girl was left feeling like she had witnessed a private conversation, an eavesdropper who had no right to be there.

Rei closed her eyes and returned to syncing with Asuka's Eva. Everyone else attempted to pretend nothing had happened.

* * *

Shinji breathed out, the sepia liquid feeling heavy in his lungs. The ill-thought conversation he had just heard did little to cheer him, nor did his unusually forceful response. As much as he appreciated Misato's concern it was Ritsuko's words that struck a chord with him. He was a commodity. Only here to fulfil a use. To pilot Unit 01 into battle. He could see Shamshel standing behind Misato, looking lost as the argument had raged.

He reminded himself to apologize to her later. He had not meant to be so short with her before. But now he had other matters to attend to. The test was scheduled for another hour and he was stuck where he was.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath of the cool LCL, he leant back into his seat and tried to connect with his Eva. Looking inward he tried to delve deep, deeper into the core of the beast. While in the plug, the beast surrounded him. It had it's own heart and sometimes had it's own mind and now he knew in it's deepest depths it had a soul within it too, but it needed another, a being within it to fire it's soul and give it life. Like a golem it needed a reason to live, a reason for it's very existence itself. And that could only come from it's pilot. Blocking the sounds from within the plug, the sound of his breathing, the sound of his hands flexing softly on the butterfly controls, the sound of his heart beating within his chest, he delved, seeking the depths of the Evangelion, seeking the connection between man and beast.

Looking within, he tried to open his mind to the Eva, like a new bulb blooming towards the sun, opening and welcoming it's warmth. Time lost it's meaning. There was nothing but the beast around him. The connection was made and sealed seamlessly, no trace of the join between the two component parts. Shinji could feel the cool bakalite around his arms, the tightness of the cage holding him in place. He could feel the glare of the huge spotlights focused on him, harsh on the lids of his eyes.

All distant, all separate. He could feel himself, both the size he was accustomed to and at the same time unimaginably small as his consciousness flitted between the Eva and his body unable to settle on either, unable to decide if he barely topped five feet or if he towered over fifty stories. And then he felt it.

Like a ripple on the water and a breeze through the leaves, he didn't know what the cause was, only the after effects. He could hear the calls...

His eyes snapped open staring into a dark plug, unilluminated by the comm channels. He had turned it off. He remembered. No one outside could have called to him. Unsettled he shifted slightly, trying to work some feeling back into his ass. Closing his eyes once again he sought out the connection he felt had been lost, the severing as complete as the joining had been.

"...Can you hear me?..." Jerking forward, Shinji twisted in his seat unable to pinpoint where the sounds had come from. Licking his lips he stared around him, suddenly afraid of the plug and remembering his one month absence after the 14th. "... hear me?..."

"M-Mom...? Is that you?"

Shinji remained silent, afraid of the voice and it's implications, afraid of-

* * *

"Dr Akagi! Shinji's sync ratio is climbing! Fast!" Snapping her gaze away from the purple Evangelion below her, Ritsuko Akagi hurried to Maya's station, disturbed by her subordinates near panic.

"What's it standing at?"

"One hundred and ten! One twenty-five and rising! It's getting faster!"

"What's going on Ritsuko?" Misato lurched forward to stare at the behemoth and flinched away gasping, seeing it's eyes illuminated from within.

"I don't know! It's still rising! It won't stop! Cut the connections!" The three techs hands whipped across their keyboards, trying to outrun the protocols the Evangelion was transmitting, trying to cut it off before it could activate. Maya's strained voice rang out across the bridge.

"It's not working! The cut off signals being rejected... from within the plug! Three forty and still rising!"

"It's happening again..." Misato whispered staring terrified at the monster before her.

"Four hundred. He's gone."

Shamshel gasped as she found her spiritual essence snatched away from it's purchase and was ripped across the ether, trying to connect with Shinji, who wasn't there anymore.

* * *

The sound of crying was what woke him up. Soft crying, the crying that comes after the body has run out of sobs and all is left is lethargic tears, unable to stop but unable to carry on either. Shinji sat up, staring around himself trying to figure out exactly where he was.

_'Where am I?'_ It was dark. Straining his eyes Shinji sought anything in the shadow that surrounded him, but could not make out any shapes or textures. He looked down and found there was nothing underneath him despite what his limbs felt. There was just darkness, like everywhere else.

"Can you hear me now?"

"Wah!" Trying to scramble away from a voice he couldn't pinpoint and attempting to run in three opposing directions at once Shinji felt his feet slip from beneath him and deposit him in an uncomfortable pose on the floor. The voice, high and piping and definitely female, giggled.

"Silly! Didn't that hurt?" Shinji grunted trying to extricate himself from himself, feeling very much like God was laughing at his expense. he climbed back to his feet looking about him warily, though the voice didn't sound like one who wished him harm.

"Um...Where are you?" The darkness was making him a little uneasy.

"Oh! I'm sorry." A point of light formed before him, flaring brighter and brighter as he watched. Soon he had to shield his eyes from the glare as it grew, unrelenting. even through his fingers he could see the brilliant glow until it reached it's peak and flickered out, plunging the featureless plain back into darkness. Blinking the tears out of his eyes, Shinji tried to focus in the shape before him.

A girl. A young girl of perhaps nine or ten, clad in a thin but opaque robe of white fabric. Her eyes were bright blue and sparkled with excitement. Her hair was long and so dark it seemed to have highlights of midnight blue that wavered and shimmered as her hair swayed and swung about her. She was grinning at him ecstatically and Shinji was briefly reminded of Shamshel and her glee.

"Is this better?" The little girl asked earnestly, her eyes wide and hopeful.

"Er.. yeah. Erm... who... are you?"

"I'm Eve!"

"Wah?"

"What's you're name?" The girl took a few steps closer and looked up at him, her cerulean eyes blinking.

"Ah... I'm Shinji." The girl beamed again. Feeling a little discomforted at the girl's scrutiny, Shinji looked around himself again. "Where are we?"

"We're in the big woman." Shinji frowned looking at the girl.

"The big woman?" The girl nodded.

"Yeah. Sometimes I can see through her eyes and everyone outside is so small! So she must be really big!" Suddenly it clicked.

_'She means the Eva. Looks like I got sucked into the Evangelion again. The Eva's a she? But I don't remember any of this and the only person in Unit 01 is Mom. So...' _He looked down at the blue haired girl before him. _'... who's she?'_

"Will you play with me? I don't get to play with people often. I can't speak to Evandiel anymore because something happened..." Her face dropped. "I think something bad happened. Something hurt him. And Eva... she's gone too. I can't hear her anymore." Tears welled in the girl's eyes and began to slip down her face. "I'm all alone." Her voice was small.

Shinji stared at the little girl crying in front of him, hardly hearing any of what she spoke. She reminded him so much of Mari Suzahara, the little girl his first sortie had crippled and a fist of guilt smashed down around him for the girl before him and Mari and her brother whom he had nearly killed. Squatting in front of the girl he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, feeling the soft material under his palm. Her tears stopped instantly and she looked up at him with her light blue eyes, sniffling quietly.

"It doesn't look like I'm going anywhere for a while. So what game do you want to play?" Her face broke into a smile and she dived at Shinji, nearly unbalancing him. Her small arms wrapped around his neck in a hug.

"Thank you! Sometimes the lost lady comes to play with me, but it's been a long time since I saw her. I hope she's ok." Shinji stiffened slightly.

_'She must mean Mom. Mom plays with her?'_ Somehow he found the notion that there was a mini family inside his Evangelion disquieting. A sudden pressure on his forehead jarred him out of his contemplation and his eyes crossed as he tried to focus on what was before him. Eve giggled, her finger poking him in the head.

"You're it!" The small girl darted away, her laughter trailing behind her. Shaking away his earlier thoughts Shinji blinked and hauled himself to his feet, chasing after the fleet footed girl, feeling like laughing himself for the first time in a long while.

* * *

Ritsuko Akagi pushed her reading glasses out of her eyes and leant her elbows on the desk before her, groaning quietly. It had been just over a week since the disappearance of Pilot Shinji Ikari into Evangelion Unit 01. And she still didn't have a clue how to get him out. The laptop screen before her was filled with computations and equations, all pertaining to the rescue of the young pilot but nothing she thought of brought about a satisfactory result.

The first thing they had done was try the method they had used after the battle against the 14th Angel. The test had been an unceremonious failure. No charge in the LCL had occurred, not even a ghost reading on Shinji's vitals. It had fared even worse than the first attempt they had made. The sensor graphs hadn't even spiked.

Resisting the abruptly overpowering urge to slam her head into her desk in frustration, mostly due to watching her college friend Misato do it once years ago and resultantly concuss herself, Ritsuko tapped a key and leant back in her chair, observing the computer run yet another simulation.

The door hissed open behind her and she inclined her head to identify her visitor. Her heart both rose and plummeted when she saw Gendo Ikari striding across the small room to her terminal. She stood and turned to face him.

"Have you made any progress?" Ritsuko breathed deeply, not being able to read his face. She had never been able to read him and it ate at her because he knew her effortlessly and completely. She had no idea how he would react to the news.

"Barely. We've established that all signals and codes are being rejected from within the plug. If Shinji were still there I would think it were him doing it, but that's not possible. We don't have any answers." The low light of her office and the brilliant white of the screen behind her reflected of the man's sepia stained glasses, hiding his eyes.

"I see. What are our realistic chances of retrieving the pilot of Unit 01 at this stage?" Ritsuko felt the bile rising in her throat.

_'You're considering leaving him in there! Your own son!'_ Swallowing shallowly and fighting the urge to look away Ritsuko Akagi discovered she wasn't sure if she loved or hated the man before her anymore.

"Well?"

"The chances... are slim. We don't have the answers to questions we need." There was no use lying to him. He always knew. He knew her inside and out, without reservation and she had never been able to lie to him. Just like her mother. Through the fog of sorrow and the tears threatening to cloud her vision she heard the man in front of her speak before watching him turn away and exiting the room.

Standing trembling before her computer, she turned in time to watch the simulation program fail. No longer able to keep the tears to herself Ritsuko felt them cascade down her face. Pain erupted in her hand as she smashed it into the keyboard, snapping the back and snapping some of the keys out of their sockets. Breaking down totally she fell into the chair she had vacated just a few minutes ago and sobbed into her arms.

_'Abandon the attempts to retrieve the pilot. Log the hour of his death and inform the Major that her ward has been declared deceased.'_

_'What have you made me Gendo? What have I become?'_ The tears continued to fall.

* * *

Shinji lay on the grass, feeling the thin blades poking him in the back through his thin shirt. Shamshel and Eve frolicked nearby, the elder of the two so childlike herself that they found joy in each others company. Watching Shamshel leap over Eve athletically and grab her from behind, tickling the little girl, brought a smile to his lips. Hearing the little girl's squeals and laughter, Shinji thought they were some of the sweetest sounds he had heard in longer than he could remember.

Absently watching the two girls he remembered when Shamshel had first arrived here, almost as ignoble an arrival as the time she turned up in his bathroom. He had been playing with Eve, as he had been since the time he had awoken.

_'Nya, you can't catch me!' Eve's laughter was like tinkling wind chimes. Swiping at the air between them Shinji chased the little girl through the inky blackness that had taken far less time to get used to than he had expected. Eve dodged back and forth, leaving the boy wrong footed more often than not, weaving in front of him. _

_Abruptly she stopped leaving him to try and spin out of the way, afraid of ploughing into her accidentally. Looking at her curiously Shinji waved a hand in front of Eve's face, trying to garner her attention._

_"Something wrong Eve?" The girl spun and beamed at him._

_"Another visitor!" _

_"Wah?" Shinji swiveled his head around the darkness seeking this new arrival, at once intrigued and disturbed. 'If someone else tried to sync with the Eva...' Suddenly he heard a faint whine, long and drawn out and it didn't seem to stop. Spinning around, Shinji was still unable to locate the source of the sound. The whine was becoming louder and more intense, seemingly coming closer. Feeling a bit more panicked Shinji swung his gaze across the barren expanse warily._

_"-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-" _

_"Huh? That sounds like-"_

_"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Shamshel materialised in front of him slicing thorough the air sideways as if she had been twacked with a six story nine iron, barreling into Shinji rather painfully sending them both tumbling over the ground. A few seconds of rebooting vital systems, like the brain's penchant for cognisant thought, and a few more spent trying to figure out which limbs were his and which belonged to the girl that was wrapped around him and Shinji felt he was ready to speak._

_"Eh?" He soon found that the girl wrapped around him was indeed wrapped around him. She was sitting in his lap, crying into his shirt and gripping the fabric tightly between her fingers refusing to let go._

_"You left... it felt like a piece of me was missing, like I had been ripped in half... it hurt so much..." Her words dissolved into sobs again as she pushed her face deeper into his blue shirt. Uneasily Shinji put his arms around the girl, beckoning the surprised Eve over as he did so. "Why did you leave?" He found himself looking into Shamshel's bright eyes as she looked up at him._

_He avoided the question not really being able to answer. After all it hadn't really been his idea._

_"It's ok, I'm here now right? I'll try not to let it happen again. I'm sorry you were hurt." His words sounded so pathetically useless, but there was nothing else he could say. Having him back near her seemed to calm her a lot, he would try not to let it happen again but there was a chance it would happen every time he stepped into an Eva and he was sorry that she was hurt by his absence. But it didn't feel like enough. 'It's not fair... for her to depend on me this much and for me to feel nothing at all when she's gone.' Settling in his arms she nodded against his chest before pushing away a little. She started when she saw Eve standing nearby looking embarrassed._

_"W-Who's she?" Shinji beckoned the girl over to the two of them, watching as she shyly complied. _

_"Shamshel this is Eve. Eve, this is my friend Shamshel." Strange that he had no problem thinking of her as a friend. Tears seemingly forgotten the bronze skinned girl reached out and patted the smaller girl's head, ruffling her blue tinted hair a little._

_"Wow, aren't you a little sweetie!" _

_Eve grinned. _

Shamshel was teaching Eve to cartwheel. With little success, but blue haired girl was having as much fun from collapsing on her back as she would have from pulling off the acrobatic move successfully. Teasing the girl Shamshel did a couple of flawless flips and leaps, making the Eve laugh with delight.

Shinji wasn't sure how long had passed outside the Eva, but he knew time moved differently within the behemoth than without. He feared it was time to decide what to do about Eve. Shamshel had suggested that the girl was a soul the Eva had for itself during a lull in the girl's seemingly endless supply of energy and that it was now as necessary for the Eva to have Eve within it as it was for it to have Yui Ikari. Shinji wasn't sure what to make of this.

_Shamshel settled next to the boy, taking shade under the single tree in the field that the three had taken to. After her arrival she had described the area to Eve and the little girl had conjured it in response. Shinji had agreed it was a much better location than the previous endless blackness had been. It wasn't exactly the same as the one Shamshel had created, but it was similar enough. And besides anything would have been an improvement._

_Shinji saw Eve sitting in the field stringing small flowers together happily, too far away to overhear anything they said._

_"Who do you think she is? I thought my Mom was the only one inside the Eva?" Shamshel looked thoughtful, an expression curiously inappropriate on her youthful and childlike features._

_"An Eva's a copy of an Angel right? Of Adam or Lilith?" Shinji shrugged. He thought that they were all copies of Adam but his knowledge of this area was sketchy at best._

_"If that's true... I think Eve's the soul of the Eva. Everything that lives has a soul, an essence that makes it, it. The lilim may have created the body but the soul takes longer to come into itself. Especially that of an Angel. The being they created was a chasm, a body but no soul. I think that's what happened to you're mother, Shin.' For some reason she had taken to calling him 'Shin' and refused to stop. 'The Eva's need for a soul overpowered her and drew her inside. That's probably why she synced so high. And now having two souls has consigned both to a kind of limbo..."_

_Shamshel's face twisted as though in pain at the thought. It wasn't that appealing to Shinji either._

_"Yui Ikari's soul was not that of an Angel. She couldn't fill the void that was left when the Eva was created. But her presence was enough to displace the new burgeoning soul that was the Eva. So now... Eve doesn't have a body anymore and Yui Ikari is trapped. They are both caught here but not bound to their prison." Shinji's confusion was plain._

_"How can they be trapped but not bound? Isn't it the same thing?" Shamshel shook her head, her golden hair swinging in the breeze lazily._

_"Not really. It's like their both in a cage but not chained to the walls. In the first case if the door is opened they can leave. In the second, the door may be opened but they still can't go anywhere." Shinji nodded thoughtfully. "Even if they could escape the cage though, they have no where to go. Eve can't form another body and you're mother has been trapped here too long to separate her essence into another body any more. Her body signature is lost in the ether and if she finds the doorway so will she be. Maybe that's better than this prison though..." _

_Shinji didn't look up, wondering what his mother would have wanted now that the threat from the Angels is over. Life inside the Eva was life of a sort. But it wasn't a life he would wish to live, all alone except for the occasional company of another, like a brief touch of sunlight on the face of someone trapped down a cavern. Fleeting and short lived. No, this was not a place he would want to live. Not an existence he would want to be consigned to._

_"So... would the other Eva's have souls as well?" 'Maybe that's the Evandiel and Eva she spoke about. The names certainly fit the bill.'_

_Shamshel shrugged._

_"Probably. It makes sense that if one would then they all would, right?" Eve came running over, chains of daisy's in her hands. As she and Shamshel laughed and giggled, trying to get Shinji to wear one the boy was deep in thought. When they left, could he leave Eva behind? Would it mean having another Angel inside his head? And if it did, what about his mom? Would he have to leave her in here?_

_

* * *

_

Time passed, both inside the Eva and out. The hands marched forwards and the sands fell and while for those outside a fortnight passed, for those inside it felt like a handful of days only...

* * *

Shinji and Shamshel stood together watching Eve run around, chasing light yellow butterflies. She wasn't trying to catch them, just follow them and fly like they did. They had decided that it was time for them to leave and were deliberating on how to break the news to Eve. Shinji was torn, unsure if he wanted to offer her another place inside himself, though Shamshel had indicated it was possible. He also thought she was trying to hint that he should, but he ignored her prodding stalwartly. He didn't think she was to happy with him at the moment. He fingered the braid of tiny white flowers Eve had made for him, seemingly eternal within this place. Eve saw them standing together and ran over to them, stopping a few feet away from them.

"Whatcha doin?" Shinji smiled uneasily and turned to look at Shamshel. She pointed ignored his gaze and looked away.

_'Yeah, she's pissed.'_

"Eve, Shamshel and I have to go now. I need to go back outside the Evangelion and back to my family and friends." He refrained from calling the purple leviathan an Eva, because she got it confused with the girl - he assumed it was a girl anyway - of the same name. Shamshel still refused to look at him.

Eve's eyes began to tear.

"You're... leaving? No! Don't go! I don't wanna be alone again!" She threw herself at Shinji's legs and hugged them close, still crying. "Aren't I your friend? Do you hate me?" Eve's bright eyes stared up at Shinji and he felt like a bastard.

_'If I abandon her... am I any different from my father?'_ Carefully disentangling himself from the sobbing little girl, he knelt down before her, wrapping his arms around her tiny form. Her tiny hands reached out and gripped his white over shirt. Sighing with resignation Shinji spoke softly to her, making his offer. She cried louder when she heard it and hugged him all the harder whispering_ 'Yes, yes.' _under her breath, her voice too raw to speak louder.

Five minutes later they stepped out, feeling a lurch sideways and forward even though they hadn't moved.

Bright light blinded Shinji, a deep red before it became lighter and lighter, brightening to white. And then the world erupted into sound.

"What's going on?" His fathers voice. Shielding his eyes from the glare Shinji shifted, feeling the metal of the catwalk under his feet. He was in the cage before the armoured face of the Evangelion. He could see it's eyes were bright and now in the process of fading into darkness again. Soon there was nothing there at all. Turning back to the front and staring up at the camera's that studded the cages he gave an abashed wave. He could still hear the cacophony of voices coming from the bridge and looked about himself. Noticing that there was a handful of techs scrambling over his Eva he suddenly felt abashed under their shocked stares. Someone's cigarette fell out of their mouth into the bakalite below. That would explain why the speakers were on then. Someone on the bridge wanted to talk to the techs in the cage.

Hearing a door slide open he turned once again.

_'I wonder if Shamshel and Eve are ok?'_

_'We're fine Shin. We both got out safely.' _ The cheer in the background was uniquely Eve's. Shinji released a breath he didn't notice he had been holding. He wasn't sure how he had received Eve's essence but now that he knew he had he was glad. He couldn't leave her inside the Eva alone. Besides, what was one more after all? He chuckled under his breath. He hoped there was enough room for them all, it wasn't like he could build an extension. And then he realised. He had made the decision. He had decided that he would help Shamshel free her brethren, almost without realising that he had decided. Shinji sighed as the voices in his head faded. It would be getting noisy soon, both inside and out.

The clanking of feet on the metal catwalk before him focused his attention. He looked up to find a purple blur approaching. Connecting with a damp thump Misato Katsuragi embraced her charge and bawled onto his shoulder.

_'Why do women keep crying on me?'_ She squeezed him tight, making Shinji thankful his bones could apparently recreate themselves at will because he was pretty sure he felt a couple of ribs creak. He was more worried about asphyxiation though. Finally being released Misato stood back, her face red and puffy and her eyes still tearing.

"Shinji... is it you?"

"Uh...yeah?" Shinji smiled uncertainly at his guardian. She smiled through her sniffles.

"Welcome home."

"I'm glad to be home." The rest of the bridge crew, who had seemingly abandoned their posts arrived behind Misato. As Misato stepped out of the way he saw Mokoto, Maya and Shigeru grinning at him. Then he noticed the two men's grins turn into smirks as they suddenly looked away. Maya on the other hand blushed brightly and her gaze traveled away from his face in a decidedly downwards direction. And then he felt the draft. The draft where no draft should be. Realising that the Eva had neglected to return his plug-suit he shrieked and turned away.

To find both Shamshel and Eve materialising behind him. Freezing he watched as the two girls blushed and stared at him in shock. Shrieking again, he spun once more finding himself facing the bridge crew again. Seeing Maya still blushing, now looking at the floor, he shrieked once more for good measure.

* * *

High above the catwalk Ritsuko Akagi watched the commotion below from behind a plexiglass window. Despite the Commander's orders the bridge had quickly vacated at the news that Evangelion Unit 01 had released it's pilot. It made the blonde smile, realising how much they had all come to care for the young man.

Listening to Shinji complain as his purple haired guardian settled her red jacket about his shoulders that Misato giving him her coat to cover up with was all very well but it was hardly suited to solving the problem, Ritsuko felt her eyes prick with tears and before she knew it they were trailing down her face.

Crumpling to the floor on her knees she tried to stifle her sobs into her hands.

"Thank you Shinji... Thank you for not making me a murderer...Oh God, thank you..."

* * *

_And that's that. _

_Someone asked me in a review if it would not be more appropriate for Shinji to have whips instead of blades if he inherited Shamshel's power. My first response to this was, 'Ah, bite me ya pedantic £$&'. My second, possibly better thought out response is, 'Yeah maybe but my point was that short range weaponry was what he inherited rather than the actual weapons themselves. After all whips require some skill and practice to use. The blades on his arms have more immediate uses, even if after extensive practice he may possibly become more adept at handling them, same as any other weapon.' So nyer._

_Anyway the 'felt a draft where no draft should be' thing is going to be a running joke. I won't put it in every chapter because it would become over used and I can't think of that many ways to crowbar a joke about Shinji being naked into the text. But it will keep cropping up._

_Lastly my thanks to all my reviewers your input was greatly appreciated. Please read on and I will certainly reply to all reviews from now on if I am able to do so._

_Ja Ne kiddies._

_May the arse be with you. _


	3. Promises

_Well, here we go again. It's just as well I don't have that much of a social life, because if I did this would never get done. Quickly I should say that there have been a few minor adjustments to the text of the previous chapters, especially chapter 1. I felt I was giving a bit too much away a bit to early so I have made a few slight changes. Nothing major though. Thanks again for all the reviews. All comments are appreciated, even criticism. LIE Fine criticism isn't appreciated per say, but I don't mind - LIE . Fine. I can deal with- LIE Go to hell dammit. Just review. _

_Me no own. You no sue._

**XVII: Promises**

Shinji sat in the plastic seat, smiling at the ceiling listening to the laughter only he could hear. Shamshel and Eve were playing in the unchanging memory of his that they had made their home and he could hear the little girl's shrieks of laughter when he chose to listen in. It had been a few days since his return from the purple behemoth and through trial and error Shinji and his two ethereal tenants had established that they could indeed think and speak without the others hearing. It was easy in a way, but completely impossible to describe. It was like shifting his perception slightly, but in another way it wasn't anything like that at all. Explaining what it was like would be like explaining a sunset's colour's to a watermelon in terms it could understand.

A few days of having Misato near permanently attached to him, apparently fearing another disappearing act, of a more voluntary type than being sucked into his Eva. He had assured her several times that he wasn't going anywhere, but it was only recently that she had relented. Her last words before she left him waiting in the Nerv employee lounge for his check up with Doctor Akagi still resonated within him.

_'I'll be waiting at home Shinji ok? Please... I'll see you later ok?' _He had smiled and nodded, once again noting how much he had come to cherish the older woman in his life. She was the mother he had never had... and one day he might have the courage to tell her that. Shifting uncomfortably in his hard plastic seat Shinji mused that whatever Nerv had intended these chairs for it certainly had not been comfort. Trying to adjust his spine to fit the chair was proving futile, so Shinji settled back resignedly and embraced his pain. Since his re-emergence from the Eva he had been scheduled for a thorough examination, to be sure there had been no contamination of his body as a result of the experience. He was a little nervous about that, seeing as he now had a couple of mental house-guests and his body could apparently calcify at will. This was not something he would appreciate Ritsuko knowing about, though Shamshel had reassured him that there was little chance that anyone would find out. It was in Shinji's nature to worry and like any good hobby he had become better at it as time passed. He could worry on a national level now and was working his way up to international competition.

Absently shifting again and feeling a vertebrae crack sullenly, Shinji quested out to the girls inside his mind intent on answering a question that had been worrying him for a while.

_-Eve? Shamshel?-_

_-Shinji!- _Eve's piping voice answered his query followed by Shamshel's slightly calmer response. Not by much though.

_-Hey girls.-_

_-Are you coming to play?- _Shinji laughed.

_-Not yet Eve. I just wanted to ask you both a couple of questions if you don't mind.-_

_-Ok!-_

_-Yeah Shin, what's up?- _Shinji felt himself twitch at the nickname Shamshel had given him, thankful only for the fact that Eve hadn't started copying her. He had the depressing feeling that it was only a matter of time though. Suppressing a sigh at the giggle he heard from Shamshel, making it apparent that she knew just how little he appreciated the nickname she had bestowed upon him, he continued.

_-Eve, you said that you talked to other people when you were in the Evangelion? Two people like you?-_

_-Yep! Evandiel and Eva! I've never seen them, but I could talk to them most of the time. But I can't hear them anymore. First Evandiel stopped talking, then Eva. I don't know what happened.- _At the last the little girl's voice was quiet. Shinji remembered that these people had been her only real friends for so long.

_'Evandiel and Eva... Unit 00 and Unit 02. The first is gone... not much I can do about that, but if I'm right and the one of the two people Eve knew is in Unit 02 and disappeared after the incident with the 15th... I might be able to free them...' _Shinji thought to himself resigned to the fact that his head was going to become a lot more crowded pretty soon. Turning his attention back to the others he continued.

_-Shamshel, what about the other's trapped in the Evangelions? Is there anything we can do for them?-_ He referred to his mother and the two others in the Evangelions. One he assumed to be Asuka's mother, the other he had no idea about. From what he knew of Rei he figured the closest thing she really had to a mother was Yui Ikari. And he knew exactly where she was already. Still there had to have been someone trapped in Unit 00, though they like the girl Eva that Eve spoke of had to be gone now.

_-I don't know, Shin. They're souls are not the same as ours. I don't think you can do for them what you have done for us.-_ Shinji had kind of expected as much.

_-What... what about setting them free? Can... do you think I can do that for them?-_He couldn't be sure that was what they wanted... but he knew that given the choice himself he wouldn't want to be trapped inside the Eva. He sensed the girl's reluctance to answer the question. _-Please. I need to know.-_

_-I think you might be able to do that, yes.-_ She answered finally, with no little amount of hesitation. Shinji sighed. He did not know if it was the right decision to make, but at least he knew his option now. Being better informed about what he could and could not do was a benefit always. Leaving the girls to their own devices Shinji tuned back into the real world, realising belatedly that he had been giving to much attention to the silent conversation and might have missed someone talking to him in the real world.

Blinking once or twice as his attention returned to the world around him, he winced briefly at the renewed pain in his back and gave up on hoping the chair would be anything other than eternally uncomfortable. Wrenching his spine away from the chair, Shinji heard loud footsteps echoing down the corridor. Turning towards the sound the young man found himself watching Maya Ibuki approaching him. The young tech smiled brightly at the boy and stopped before him.

"Hey Shinji, Doctor Akagi is ready to see you now." Shinji nodded and stood, glad to be away from the throne of torture. Falling in beside the brunette Shinji walked silently with her through the corridors, winding a path to Ritsuko's office. Maya shifted uncomfortably as they walked, remembering the pilot's last serious encounter with the blonde scientist. She had no doubt that the incident would strain their meetings for sometime. As much as Shinji strained anything anyway. Maya felt that all too often he merely seemed to take things in stride, seeing him become agitated only during the battles against the Angels. At all other times he accepted all that was thrown at him without complaint. The bridge bunny had yet to decide whether this meant he was very strong or incredibly weak.

"Shinji..." The pilot looked at her, surprised by her sudden decision to speak. Shinji didn't dislike Maya; far from it, he always appreciated her cheery personality when they spoke, it was just that those times which they spoke at all were very rare. "What happened with Major Katsuragi and Doctor Akagi at you're last sync test... She didn't mean it. Doctor Akagi has been under a lot of stress lately and... well, it just got the best of her I guess." Shinji continued to walk in silence, remembering the bottle blonde doctor's speech about duty and childishness and his subsequent unusual reaction.

Maya had been right in a way. This next meeting was indeed not one that Shinji was looking forward to particularly. However there was a larger bone of contention between the two of them than her little rant during his test. An ethereal giggle slithered through his mind and dozens of crimson orbs peered through the darkness at him, making him shudder violently. Whether they had possessed souls or not, the deaths of the callously named 'spare parts' did not sit well with Shinji. In addition Akagi's at some times blatant disregard for the safety of the pilots made the boy feel uncomfortable around her. His dislike for Ritsuko Akagi went far beyond any insults she aimed at him, be they directly aimed or absently backhanded. Still, he could tell that Maya only wanted what was best. She didn't know about the clones after all.

"I know Miss Ibuki. It's ok." He heard Maya sigh.

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Maya? I'm too young and perky to be called Miss Ibuki yet." Shinji couldn't help but smile.

"Ok, Maya it is." He felt slightly uncomfortable calling his superior something so informal, especially since they didn't know each other that well really, but it had been her request so he could hardly say no. A few seconds later they arrived at the infirmary door. After saying a brief good bye to Maya, stumbling over her name in the process, Shinji entered.

Ritsuko was standing on the far side of the room next to a gurney, stocked with medical utensils. Her white lab coat made a startling juxtaposition against the dull grey of the walls behind her. Hearing the door open the woman turned to Shinji and smiled slightly.

"Hey Shinji. Take of your shirt and hop onto the bad and I'll be with you in a second." She turned back to the gurney. Reluctantly Shinji unbuttoned his white shirt and dropped it carefully onto a bright orange chair behind him. Feeling the chill in the clinically cool air Shinji sat on the bed behind the doctor, feeling the springs give as he gave his full weight to the mattress.

After a short while Ritsuko turned back to him, a long thin syringe in her hand. Briefly placing the needle down, she quickly donned two disposable sanitary gloves and turned to Shinji, having taken up the syringe once again.

"I'm just going to take a bit of your blood to run an analysis. We need to make sure that there were no side effects of your stay inside the Eva." Shinji nodded as she spoke before watching her approach. "This might sting a little... there." Shinji winced briefly as the needle was gently eased into his skin, and felt a little light headed, as he always did when he watched his blood being drawn. He was also a bit confused. Up to this point Ritsuko's bedside manner was nothing like this. Hell up to this point Ritsuko's bedside manner was non-existent. She also rarely told him why they did the tests they did. It was... unusual.

Giving the vial of his blood a cursory glance and setting it down, Ritsuko turned back to him.

"Take off you're shoes and step onto the scales Shinji. We'll do a quick check to see if we need to change your body parameters for the sync data." Shinji nodded unlacing his shoes quickly. Standing from his position on the bed he turned and nearly ran into Ritsuko, surprising him with her closeness. As he tried to mutter an apology and divert his path around her she caught his shoulder and stopped him.

"Hold on a second Shinji." The doctor stood in front of the young man, making him fidget and want to avoid her gaze. It quickly became apparent though that if he looked down to avoid her eyes all he would see was her impressive bust. His fidgeting increased tenfold. "Has the plug suit become a bit tight recently Shinji?"

Shinji, thinking all the wrong things about what would and would not be tight in a plug suit nearly fainted before he heard Ritsuko continue.

"Around the shoulders and back, right?" Shinji relaxed abruptly.

"Y-yeah. It's been a getting a little tight, but I only really noticed a short while ago." Ritsuko hummed.

"You have gotten taller. Maybe it's time we got you a new suit. I'll measure you when you're on the scale so we can see then. On you get." Moving out of his way, Ritsuko allowed him to get to the small set of scales in the corner. In front of the scales a tape measure seemed to be pinned to the wall, doubling as a height chart. Stepping on the pressure pad Shinji faced directly forwards at the doctor's request. The process only took a few seconds as Ritsuko jotted down some brief notes on her pad, before slipping it back inside the pocket of the lab coat she wore. "Back on the bed please Shinji." She said brightly.

A few hours passed in this manner, with the suddenly friendly scientist taking various samples of saliva and... other bodily fluids. Most of the test were fairly passive, such as testing Shinji's reflexes and eye co-ordination. More involving ones such as strength and endurance trials quickly tired the boy out, though both he and the doctor were surprised to find that his stamina score had significantly increased. Shinji was ruefully musing on what jokes Misato could wrangle out of the fact that he had uncommonly high stamina for his body weight when Ritsuko ushered him onto the next test.

The only brief blossom of embarrassment was when Ritsuko insisted on taking a semen sample. Shinji spent a good ten minutes behind a quickly curtained off area of the room trying to...provide the required sample. It was only when Ritsuko teasingly asked if Shinji would like her to fetch Maya to provide him some assistance, or if he would like her to come around and give him a hand herself that the task was completed. The image of Maya or Ritsuko - separate or together - in such a circumstance quickly accomplished the job.

He couldn't help but feel sheepish when he came out from behind the curtain. The admittedly attractive blonde doctor was smiling at him and he had a brief flash of cat like ears peeking through her dyed tresses. Shaking his head to clear his mind he handed the small cup to Ritsuko trying not to allow all the blood in his body to turn his face florescent.

Ritsuko chuckled quietly and muttered something about 'still having the touch.' Shinji tried to ignore her.

The tests came to an end eventually, just after the young lab rat had decided that all the physical endurance tests had him feeling like road kill. Snagging his shirt and slipping it on he turned to leave, still fiddling with the buttons.

"Shinji?" Pausing he turned back to Ritsuko, surprised she wanted something of him now that the tests were completed. After he finished doing up his last button he raised his face to meet hers, confused by her silence. "Shinji...I-I'm sorry..." It took a lot of will power not to gape.

"I'm sorry I've always seemed like I care more about the mission than about the pilots, it's just that... without all of you... we have no hope. But now that it's all over, I'd still like you to stay. Remember that Misato isn't the only one who'd care if you left us, ok Shinji?" With that Ritsuko smiled weakly and hugged the boy gently. Not knowing what to do, or how to react the boy found himself hesitantly hugging the woman back, his face buried in the white expanse of her lab coat's shoulder.

After a while she pulled away, smiling at him again.

"I'm sorry about that. Guess I'm getting more emotional, huh?" Shinji smiled as best he could and began to turn away for the door. As he moved he knew that he could not leave the woman with only silence as a response. Stopping in the doorway, he turned back to see the woman leaning over the gurney silently. She stiffened when he spoke, but did not turn around.

"I-I meant what I said before. I'm not going anywhere. This is my home." Embarrassed he turned away and left the room, gone before he could see the woman's body begin to quake with the tears that slipped across her cheeks.

"Thank you..."

* * *

Though exhausted by his ordeal, Shinji Ikari had one last thing to do before he returned to the Katsuragi apartment. Turning away from the infirmary Shinji wandered through the hallways of Nerv, largely unnoticed by the wandering personnel. Technicians wandered through the hall and corridors mostly in groups of one or two, some pouring over notes and files and some just chatting amiably. The young man dodged between them all, his mind digesting the incident with the blonde doctor only a few minutes prior. So far he had gotten to:

_'What the hell just happened?'_ His progress was less than significant. Ritsuko had never acted that way as long as he had known her and the sudden change had stunned Shinji. He smiled softly when he remembered her words to him before he left and his own. _'I guess in a way this is my home after all.'_

_-Shinji? Are we getting closer? I can feel something nearby.- _Shinji avoided the glances of two Nerv employees as they passed and replied silently.

_-We'll be there in a few more minutes. I'm taking a round about way so that if anyone asks I can just say I wondered there without thinking.- _Turning left at a corridor intersection Shinji stuffed his hands into his pockets and kept his head down.

_-Aren't you putting to much effort into this, Shin? It's not like men in black suits are gonna jump ya if you walked straight there ya know.- _ Shinji ignored the nickname and continued on, espying another intersection up ahead. If he remembered correctly there was a lift immediately around the corner of he left hand junction. That would take him into the lower levels.

_-Just being careful. I don't know how far I can trust this place after all.- _Shamshel gave a non-committal grunt.

-_Shinji... when we're done here will you come play with me?-_ Shinji could hear the plea in Eve's voice. He knew that she was afraid that her friend... Evandiel was gone. Asking him to play with her was her way of re-affirming that he, at least was still there.

_-Of course. As soon as we're finished here and I get home, I'll come visit ok?-_

_-Yay!-_ Shinji couldn't help but smile. The two girls had become so much like the little sisters he had never had, which was laughable seeing as at least one was an eternity older than he was. But both of them were so childlike he couldn't help but see both of them as younger than him. Smiling at the absurdity Shinji turned left and came to the steel doors he had expected.

Finding that the lift was only a few floors above him he pressed the button then leaned on the wall to wait.

_-My legs are killing me. Damn tests.-_ Shinji lifted one foot of the floor, than the other trying to ease the ache in his muscles as he waited for the lift to arrive at his floor. Eve spoke again.

_-Shinji... do you think we'll find Evandiel? Will he be ok?- _The boy sighed, not really wanting to answer the question. He simply didn't know whether Unit 02's innate 'soul' was well or not, or if they would find him at all. He didn't want to give the girl an answer which might turn out to be wrong all too soon.

_-Don't worry. I'm sure everything will be ok.-_

_'Coward.' _ He thought to himself. He turned back towards the lift and was startled to see that the doors were open and that the sole occupant of the compartment was staring at him calmly, apparently waiting for him to enter the lift. Her crimson gaze held him as she watched him curiously. Blushing a little Shinji hurriedly stepped into the lift next to Rei Ayanami and went to press the button for the Evangelion cages. He paused, somewhat startled, when he noticed that the button for the cages was already illuminated. It seemed that the Evangelions were Ayanami's destination also.

_'This might make thing's harder. I can't think why she'd want to visit Unit 01 and since she is piloting Asuka's Unit 02 now, it makes more sense for her to be going there.'_ Uncommonly for the young man he found himself cursing the company of the quiet Rei Ayanami. Most of the time he enjoyed her company, silent though it was. She placed no demands on him and that was perfectly acceptable to Shinji. He was not particularly talkative himself so he did not begrudge the silence. It was true that when he had first met her she had scared him a little, but developments since then had allowed a friendship of sorts to bloom between the two.

His new found knowledge of Rei's origins had made him intensely uncomfortable around the girl however. As such he was uncertain where he stood when it came to her. She seemed so different from the Rei he had known and had in a limited way formed a friendship with, but some of who she was he recognised from the Rei he had first gotten to know. It was like seeing a complete stranger's personality mixed with a friend's.

"I eat sand."

"Wuh?" Shinji was startled out of his reverie and turned to stare at Rei, confused and questioning his hearing. Rei repeated herself.

"What are your plans?" She looked at him, seeing his incomprehension. "What do you plan to do when you reach the Evangelion cages? You do not normally visit them." Shinji relaxed slightly, though he was still slightly uneasy. Rei rarely initiated conversation, at least the Rei that he knew did not. This was one of the albino girl's newer traits it seemed.

"Ahhh, n-nothing really... I was just wandering around Nerv and thought I'd go down and... think for a while." Shinji was conscious of the fact that this wasn't the best excuse he could have come up with. "What about you, Ayanami?" The girl remained silent, but Shinji was used to this. It seemed to be arbitrary choice as to whether or not the girl would answer any question posed to her. It seemed that she had no interest in answering this one.

After a while her quiet voice broke the silence, somewhat startling the boy.

"Sohryu's Unit 02. It... rejects me. And I cannot open myself to it fully. I wish to know why this is."

"Do you think spending time with it will answer your questions?" The girl hesitated.

"I do not know." Shinji couldn't ask for a more honest answer than that. The lift descended in silence.

_'She doesn't feel right Shin. It's like standing next to a burnt out candle; you can still feel the heat, but there's no source anymore.'_

_'Yeah. She feels weird'_

Shinji remained silent, thinking about Rei Ayanami. He would explain to Shamshel and Eve later but right now he couldn't afford the distraction. She had caught him spacing out once and that was enough. The doors slid open revealing a metal gantry way, suspended over the orange bakalite sea below. Shinji waited a few seconds before stepping out onto the gantry, allowing the former pilot of Unit 00 top exit first. Passing through the cages they wandered through a couple of empty ones before they got to Unit 02. As Ayanami paused in front of the red behemoth Shinji felt compelled to continue onwards, not wanting to arouse suspicion. he would just have to wait until she was gone. Intending to continue his walk into the adjacent cage he was stopped as Rei spoke once again.

"How was your medical examination with Doctor Akagi? After her... foolishness during our test I would have imagined that your interaction would have been somewhat strained." She did not turn away from gazing into the four dull eyes of Eva Unit 02 while she questioned him softly. Shinji was surprised that Rei had gone as far as to criticize Ritsuko's actions and it made him wonder if the flash of irritation he had glimpsed had really been for the interruption Ritsuko and Misato's argument posed.

"It went ok." There wasn't really much else he could say since he wasn't sure himself what had happened. As he turned a way once more he couldn't help but consider if her interruption of the argument had been because of the distraction it posed... or because she knew it was disturbing him. She had always taken her orders to protect him far too seriously. He tried to dismiss the thought, knowing that such an action would be ridiculously out of character for the taciturn girl. None the less he could not shake the feeling. Preparing himself to look like an idiot he turned a little, watching Rei staring up into the Evangelion's armoured visage.

"Thanks Rei." Quickly he turned and hurried through to the next cage, not waiting for an answer. Which was just as well, because Rei Ayanami did not give one.

Moving quickly Shinji found himself before the purple giant, it's horn extending far over his head. It's two eyes were dull and silent. Much like Unit 02, the Evangelion before him showed no emotions, only a mask. A brief memory skittered across his mind; the face armour falling off the Eva, revealing a grey damaged head. The skin warping and reforming into a vibrant green pupil, excentuated by three odd markings around the outside of the eye at equidistant points. The eye staring at him.

Shinji tried not to shudder. Leaning against the railing behind him, he stared up at the creature before him, seeking some hint of life in it's giant eyes, some hint of his mother within the beast. Finally tiring of such futile efforts he collapsed against the railing allowing his body to slid down the cool metal so that he was sat on the floor before Unit 01. He sighed loudly, thankful to have his weight off his tired feet.

In truth he had no real reasonfor being in Unit 01's cage. He was only there to kill time until Ayanami left so he could examine Unit 02. Slightly bored, Shinji looked around the cage, searching for something of interest. Instead he quickly noticed that video camera's and other observation equipment were scattered across the ceiling. He cursed silently.

_'It'll be the same in all the other cages. I'll have to be really careful about what I say and do. Last thing I need are more questions.'_ Turning his attention back to the leviathan before him, he tensed feeling the shivers in the air and the hair rise on the back of his neck. After a few seconds Shamshel and Eve materialised before him and the sensations disappeared. He was becoming used to that happening now.

"Wow! It's huge!" Eve skipped up to the armour plate and pressed her hands against it in wonder. Shamshel leaned on the railing next to him and watched the little girl.

"So whatcha gonna do now?" Shinji wary of the camera's and the listening devices they no doubt concealed pitched his voice low in response and tried not to look at Shamshel.

"I'll just have to wait until she's finished. Not much I _can_ do." The golden maned girl sighed loudly. So loudly in fact that Shinji was certain that the only reason she did was to make absolutely sure that he heard her sighing.

"Why are you mumbling like a baka? Just think it remember? Yeeshhh..." Shinji couldn't help but blush a little at that. They had all found out the hard way that all Shinji needed to do to talk to the two Angels was to think, rather than actually having to speak. He let a couple of choice thoughts escape before they bothered to correct him. In truth it seemed that even Shamshel was surprised by the fact that they could converse on so many levels.

_'But hey, nothing like this has ever happened before, so what do I know?' _ She had laughed afterwards.Shinji had not been reassured by that little speech. He stayed silent, not seeing much point in repeating himself and still feeling a little embarrassed at his lapse.

Shamshel dropped into a crouch next to him, apparently content to wait with him for his co-pilot to finish. Shinji was reluctant to check on Ayanami too often. The girl had an uncanny ability to tell when she was being watched and by whom. He figured he would wait for a while before investigating whether or not she had left. A quick thought came to him and he readjusted his legs into a rather haphazard lotus position. Before he had come to Tokyo-3 his teachers had taught him the basics of meditation, but it was not a skill that Shinji had ever really picked up on. He had no intention of trying it again now, but figured that it would arouse less suspicion if it seemed like he were actually doing something. He closed his eyes and slumped slightly, not really caring enough about the matter to make his posture perfect.

"So seeing as we're gonna be around each other for a while, do you think you could tell me how many more times I'm gonna end up seeing you naked, Shin?" The boy blushed hotly at her teasing tone. It was true he had ended up in her presence naked far too many times for his personal comfort. Maybe he could get her a bell to ring whenever she was due to appear. A bit of warning would do the world of good. Aside from the blush he felt it was better not responding. He heard her giggle.

With no way of keeping the time Shinji wasn't sure how long he sat there, but it hadn't taken him long to start wishing he had brought his SDAT with him. Between trying to avoid Shamshel's constant teasing and passing the time he could use a peaceful distraction.

_'It's like having Misato in my head for crying out loud.'_ Quick forays into the next cage by the dark skinned girl to check on Rei, something else Shinji was embarrassed to have not thought of, always ended the same way. Rei was still there, just staring up at the red giant. Somehow this did not surprise Shinji.

"Shinji?" The young man's eyes snapped open and he couldn't help but look up in surprise, for it was not Shamshel that had spoken, but Eve.

The girl was stood next to him, apprehensive and worried. Quickly she knelt down next to him and snuggled into his side, while Shinji sat confused and bemoaning the loss of feeling in his legs.

_-What's wrong, Eve?-_ He wasn't sure what exactly she hoped to gain from her position at his side seeing as to him she was insubstantial and would simply fall through if she tried to lean on him. He figured she got some comfort from it though.

"I can hear the lost woman." Shinji stiffened. "It started when I touched the big purple thing and it hasn't stopped. She sounds really lonely and lost." Shinji licked suddenly dry lips.

_-C-can I speak to her?- _ Shamshel answered rather than the little girl.

"I don't think so, Shin." The elder girl crouched on his far side, eyes on the Evangelion that towered above them. "I think when we freed Eve, we left her to fill the void in the Eva alone. It looks like your mom is stuck even deeper within the Evangelion then she was before. I don't think there's anyway to free her now."

Shinji bowed his head in frustration.

_'I can't free her... can't get her out of the Eva... and now I can't even free her spirit? I... I won't accept that. I won't accept that.'_

"I don't accept that." He bit the words out through a clenched jaw, still muttering quietly. Shamshel went to lay a hand on his shoulder but stopped when she realised that she could not anyway. Both she and Eve shared in Shinji's pain as they saw twin tracks of liquid glimmer as they arced down his cheeks.

Shinji fell deeper into himself, certain that there was a connection between himself and the Eva, one with far more depth than the entry plug. He could feel his half of the connection, feel the end was torn and shredded as if it the link wasn't two halves joined together, but one whole sundered apart. He was connected to the Eva. He just had to find out where. The sounds of the girls faded into the background noise and then even that itself faded away. Shinji felt himself drop.

He opened his eyes. He stood in the field he always came to when visiting the girls in the place they had made for themselves in side him. The tree stood before him, towering upwards with it's leaf coated branches arcing out overhead. The boy reached out and touched the bark of the tree, expecting to feel it's rough surface against his fingers. instead the scene flickered and snapped before his eyes as soon as he touched the grey wood. Suddenly a different scene stood before him. Instead of one tree, there were two instead. Two sakura trees, one slanted to the left and the other to the right, their trunks wrapped around each other and their branches exploding from the centre, covered in pink cherry blossoms. He snatched his hand away and the trees disappeared.

"What the hell...?" Looking around the field he found it much as he always did, mid-calf length vibrant green grass swaying in the soft breeze, the sky a bright and endless blue, soft pastel coloured flowers that he didn't know the names of dotted randomly throughout the greenery. He looked up at he tree. Dark green leaves hung, thick among the numerous thin branches, covering the tree.

"What the hell did you do?" Shinji spun finding a shocked Shamshel and a worried Eve peeking out from behind her. "Next time you're gonna disappear on us give us some warning first!" Her voice softened. "We were worried." Eve nodded her head timidly. Shinji smiled weakly and crouched down in front of the two.

"It's ok Eve. I'm fine." The little girl smiled and hugged him tightly. After a while he tried to let go, but the girl refused, hugging him tighter. Resignedly, Shinji lifted her with his right arm, being careful to hook her legs over his arm so she could use it as a seat. This had become one of her favourite spots since they had met and Shinji had given up on being shocked that he could lift her one armed in this place.

"Thanks Shinji." The little girl smiled up at him and he blushed faintly at her gratitude.

"Well Shin? Why are we here?" Shinji smiled sheepishly at the frowning girl who was standing with her arms crossed, waiting for an explanation. Turning back to the tree he answered as best he could.

"There's a connection here. Somewhere. I have a connection to the Unit 01, the same as I have a connection to both of you. I can feel it." He trailed off softly, reaching out to touch the tree once more. "I just have to find it."

His fingers touched the bark and he felt the shift, saw the two intertwined sakura trees and watched the gentle cascade of white and pink blossoms as they fell around him. The connection was made, but he could feel it wavering, stretching. It was like two wires touched together. The circuit was complete, but not seamless. Shinji knew that the only thing keeping the connection in place was his hand on the twinned sakura trees. He closed his eyes and sought the link that he knew he possessed, the connection he knew was there. He felt it, could feel the sensation of it, it's taste and touch and sound and smell all under his finger tips.

Gentle as a caress he rotated his wrist, dragging the soft pads of his fingers across the tree and _locked_ the connection in place. Opening his eyes, he removed his hand from the trees, hearing the girls gasp as the scene failed to shift. Eve hopped out of his arms and danced among the falling petals, laughing with glee and Shamshel stood frozen in wonder as a soft pink blossom landed in her cupped hands.

Shinji smiled at them both, looking out beyond the tree to a transformed field. Blooms and blossoms of every colour filled the grass verges and wound their way across the white pillars that jutted from the ground. The pillars were lost in decay, shaped into a crescent around a central fountain. Vines covered the white stone, the pure clear water bursting from the ground and raining down on the circular slabs of white stone that stood around it.

Green tree's flourished and sprouted between the pillars and across the field, some sakura shedding blossoms of softest pink, palest white and faintest blue, others held bright blooms in their branches and others with names he could never imagine flourished in the landscape.

Hearing Shamshel gasp, he turned around. And stared upwards. Knelt on it's right knee and leaning it's titanic weight on one mighty fist Evangelion Unit 01 towered behind him. It's head was down, looking directly at him and it's right arm rested on it's thigh as it genuflected to the boy it dwarfed. Small birds of all shapes and sizes fluttered around the beast, some braver feathered souls landing precariously on it's slender horn.

"Wow!" Eve had finally noticed what had captured her friends attention and ran closer to the silent Eva, seeking a better view. Shamshel quietly approached Shinji, her tan legs moving quickly through the lush grass.

"Why is it here, Shin?" Shinji's eyes lost their focus, as if he were gazing though a mist only he saw, seeking sights only he could see. Too a girl who had lived eternally, the feeling that someone else was seeing something she could not was unnerving.

"It's the link way. A part of the Eva is with me and a part of me is with the Eva. Wherever I go and whatever I'm doing... there will always be a way to call it to me. That's what it was trying to tell me. It doesn't _need_ a soul like my mother's... and it was conscious before it ever had a soul of it's own. They just aided it in it's mission. They gave it the strength it didn't have and it allowed them to, because they were doing what it wanted anyway. They defended me. It... is here to protect me. I am... everything to it."

Shamshel's jaw dropped open.

"A-and how do you know that?" She stammered. Shinji turned to her and she watched the dawn of understanding brighten his dark blue eyes. He raised a hand and gently tapped his temple.

"It's telling me."

* * *

Today was not a good day. Oh, sure she got to talk to Shinji and she was beyond happy about that, to have finally gotten her feeling off her chest. The relief she felt was unimaginable. Even the tears the had streaked down her face after they had talked had been refreshing. Even if it meant Ritsuko Akagi had to re-do her mascara afterwards, she was glad she had wept those tears.

That, however did not make up for having Captain Half-a-Beard glaring down her back as she and the rest of the tech staff tried frantically to recover control of Unit 01.

One of the bridge technicians had noticed it first. Since Unit 01 had a history of berserker episodes and moving when it had absolutely no power source it had become standard procedure to keep the Eva monitored at all times, for safety reasons.

The first spike on the monitors had been logged in at twenty-five minutes after the First and Third Children had entered the cages. The security videos showed Rei Ayanami standing at the bridge to the entry plug staring up at the crimson unit, the same way she had since she had entered the cage. The second video feed showed Shinji sat cross-legged before the presence of the Evangelion he piloted. He appeared to be meditating, but the young woman who monitored the security feeds had attested that on several occasions he had twitched or jumped. Now he was completely silent within the cage, oblivious to the chaos that surrounded him.

_'Approximately twenty-five minutes after his entrance and nine minutes after his decision to begin meditating, Unit 01 activated.' _Even now Ritsuko could see the pale yellow glow of the Eva's eyes on the screen. '_Somehow it's A.T. Field formed and helpfully scythed through the connecting gantry on both sides of Shinji, resulting in the deadlocking of the doors from the cages both to the left and to the right of Cage 05, where the Unit in question is being stored. As such there is no ready method of approaching the pilot and as long as the damn thing can summon it's A.T. Field we can't get anywhere near even if we could open the blasted doors.' _

Ritsuko cursed and sat back, popping her knuckles and stretching her back. No matter how analytical she was the facts were no more palatable. Shinji was trapped in there and they had no way of directly contacting him. The wall's, thick enough to contain an Eva's rage were certainly thick enough to be sound proof. There was no way they could alert him that way. And not much they could do after they told him of the situation. One of the lower tier bridge bunnies had uncharitably muttered that the pilot would throw a fit, fall of the gantry and drown himself in bakalite if he found out what kind of danger he was in.

A glare from Ritsuko had sent the idiot scurrying away quite satisfyingly. Unconsciously though she couldn't help but wonder if it was better that Shinji didn't know what was happening around him. No need for him to worry about what he couldn't solve. Besides if he hadn't heard the metal catwalks collapse after their abrupt severance by Unit 01 then anything else wasn't going to make much difference. She had no idea he could attain that depth of meditation. Hell, she had no idea he could meditate at all. Setting the Magi terminal to running another computer mock up scenario while Maya, Shigeru and Makoto tried a dozen different ways of doing the same thing, trying to get the machine to respond to outside input. So far, unsurprisingly, no luck.

As she waited she knew that some technicians had volunteered to navigate the ventilation shafts and try to find their way into the cage. It had been the techs themselves that suggested it, all were apparently eager to help the shy young boy who had saved them so many times.

_'It seems you have more friends around here than you know, Shinji.'_

Major Katsuragi had been informed of the situation, but it had taken longer than anticipated to get in touch with her. Having dropped Shinji off in the Nerv waiting area it seemed she had decided to pay her comatose second ward a brief visit. Her mobile had run out of power and they had attempted to contact her during her drive back from the ward Asuka was being kept in. They had to wait for her to arrive home before they could get word out to her about the emergency. She was no doubt driving halfway up a building in a bid to get here faster right this minute.

Ritsuko couldn't help but chuckle at the thought. She had traded horror stories with Shinji during the tests he had undergone involving her old friends driving skills. It seemed that she wasn't the only one who praised Buddha after every journey.

The results of the scenario came back. Negative again. As the blonde doctor set to typing again she mused that the only real bonus about this incident was that Gendo was down with the techs who were trying to break through the door to the cages. They weren't making spectacular progress, but then neither was she and Fuyutsuki was a much more lenient taskmaster than Gendo.

"Any results Doctor Akagi?" The grey haired man leant over her shoulder, bracing himself on the panel in front of them both with his left arm. Ritsuko shook her head tiredly.

"None. The Eva still refuses to accept any outside commands and all sensors indicate that it is still active, a feat that should be impossible without any outside source of power. Nothing we have attempted has had any effect."

"The Eva's rejecting all outside signals from inside the plug. Nothings getting through." Makoto added his report to her own from further down the line his frustration open for all to see. Shigeru just grunted his agreement and Maya stayed silent.

Rei moved forwards, into Ritsuko's line of sight to her right, and began to examine the wavelength fluctuations on the screen before her.

Rei's appearance was a minor mystery. Of course most things about the girl were a mystery except to a chosen few, but the Evangelion's latest temper tantrum had displaced the conundrum of Rei Ayanami by quite a margin. She had appeared after the techs that entered through Cage 04 in an attempt to open the sealed doors had informed her of the situation. Thus far she had remained silent and out of view. No one was quite sure why she was there but the Commander had left before she had arrived and Fuyutsuki had no objection to her presence so she remained.

Her soft voice drew Ritsuko's full attention to her.

"Does this data not resemble Ikari's sync graphs?" Ritsuko blinked twice before standing and moving to Rei side. The albino girl was standing in front of a set of readouts that were so deeply routed into the Eva that there had been little point in checking them by way of anything more than a cursory glance. After a few seconds it seemed that Rei was correct. The graphical data showed three lines, all fluctuating in rhythm. Individually they meant absolutely nothing. They were gibberish. But if they were relayed on top of one another then it did look remarkably like the sync and personality data of one Shinji Ikari. Ritsuko was not surprised that she didn't notice it.

For a start it was tertiary data, which wasn't really relevant to her task at hand. In fact, interesting as it was this new information didn't help in any immediate way. If anything it provided more questions than answers. In addition to this it was highly unlikely that unless you knew what you were looking for that you would notice the pattern. No, Ritsuko Akagi was not surprised that she had not noticed. Ritsuko Akagi _was_ however surprised that Rei Ayanami _had_ noticed it. However she tried to put that out of her mind for the moment as she studied the data, while the quiet girl stepped aside.

"Something Doctor?" Fuyutsuki had apparently followed her and stood at her shoulder as she pored over the information on the screen.

"I don't know... This data indicates that some reaction similar to a synchronisation is occurring, but I don't understand how that is possible, or who's synchronising with who. No ones inside the Eva so..." Fuyutsuki grunted.

"Shinji is syncing with Unit 01." Rei spoke softly again, interrupting their conferral. Fuyutsuki snorted.

"That can't happen Rei. He's not in the plug. There's nothing to connect him to the Eva."

"None the less, it is happening. A synchronisation is occurring. The only logical conclusion is that Shinji is syncing with Unit 01. I believe that if you can disrupt that synchronisation then the Eva will de-activate." Ritsuko stared at the emotionless girl, before staring at the readouts on the panel again.

_'That's the second time you've called him Shinji...'_ Ignoring her errant trail of thought Ritsuko turned to the sub-commander who was waiting for her response.

"She might be right. If nothing else it's something we haven't tried yet anyway. It won't cost us much to give it a shot." Rei stepped forward again.

"I would like to assist you Doctor Akagi." Ritsuko nearly gaped. Fuyutsuki had turned back to the other consoles but the blonde thought the chances were good that he was still paying attention to what was occurring behind him.

"R-Rei? You want to help?" Another wild tangent of thought made Ritsuko wonder if this wasn't the most that the First Child had ever said of her own accord, at least to her.

"Yes. I am aware of the functions of the Magi Super-System and would pose no distraction." Ritsuko almost inhaled her own face and choked in shock.

_'That was Rei's way of saying that she could help and that she wouldn't get in the way! What the hell is going on?'_ The sub-commanders strong voice broke the resultant silence as the scientist stared at the young girl, his attention still nominally turned elsewhere and his hands clasped in the small of his back.

"Why do you want to help Rei?" The girl's gaze faltered from it's fixation on Ritsuko and slipped to the floor quickly.

"I-I am... concerned for... Ikari."

_'I'll eat Misato's cooking if she wasn't going to call him Shinji again!'_ The woman wasn't sure whether she should be shocked at the girl's admittance that she wanted to help the young man or that she was calling him by his first name. Eventually she settled for just being aimlessly shocked. After all there was more than enough shock to go around.

The Commander's former teacher spoke again.

"Then by all means help."

"Yes sir." The girl whispered before moving past the two elder members of the group. She paused, seemingly at a loss as to where to go. All the terminals were in use. Apparently the conversation in the corner hadn't been as private as they had thought. Makoto stood up and grinned weakly, scratching the back of his head.

"You can use mine Miss Ayanami. I'll use the back-up module." He gestured vaguely to the spare terminal in the corner. Rei knew it was there but did not have the authorization to activate the terminal. She nodded to Hyyuga and approached his station as he hurriedly backed out of the programs he was currently running and reconfigured the unit for a new user.

"Are you sure about that Hyyuga? No offense Ayanami." Shigeru added with a quick smile.

"None taken." The long haired bridge bunny seemed surprised that she had answered him, then began to grin.

"You kiddin'? I've seen her aptitude scores with the Magi systems. She probably knows more about this thing than I do." Makoto finished logging Ayanami in then made way for her to sit. If anyone but Ritsuko saw the slight blush at the complement to her skills, they remained silent about it. "There you go Miss Ayanami. It's all yours." Nodding at the girl quickly the spectacled man turned and moved quickly towards the spare module, quickly activating it and logging in again.

Ritsuko watched as the girl settled herself quickly and her hands began to fly across the console, easily as fast as any of the bridge bunnies. She shook her head in wonder, before noticing the sub-commander watching her.

"Looks like she's growing up, eh Doctor Akagi?" With that he turned to check on his subordinates progress. Ritsuko stared after him, then swept her gaze across the row of consoles before her. Maya, Rei and Shigeru, their fingers snapping across the keyboards, with Makoto doing the same in the far corner. She couldn't help but remember the mass exodus of the bridge crew when Shinji had returned from the Eva earlier in the week, despite Gendo's abject disapproval.

"Your not the same girl you were before, are you Rei?" She murmured under her breath as the girl worked, her mind rebelling slightly against her ingrained dislike of the girl. "And it looks like I was right..." She watched as the boiler suited technicians on the surveillance screens showing the cages down below heaved at the doors repeatedly and remembered the smaller team of techs who had crawled into the ventilation shafts in a bid to get to the boy below. "You have far more friends than you know Shinji..."

* * *

Shamshel gaped at him.

"I-It's telling you?" Shinji nodded, turning his attention back to the kneeling giant.

"With the connection made, I don't need to be in the plug to sync with the Eva. It can speak to me clearly now because we freed Eve. Before, as a side effect of having two souls in one body, well three if you include mine," He chuckled. "there was too much thought noise. Now it can speak." Shamshel snapped her gaze back and forth between the leviathonic beast and the young man who had begun to walk through the grass towards the Eva.

"Wait a sec, Shin! What did you mean when you said that you could call it wherever you were?" She hurried after him to walk at his side. He shrugged.

"Wherever I go, we will still be connected. Even on the other side of the planet, if I summon it, it will come." Shamshel dropped back into silence as they walked.

Shinji stood in the shadow of the titanic creature, looking up at the Eva's face and watching the sunlight reflect off the purple armour. Eve, now tired out from her running around stood on his left next to Shamshel.

_'Can I do this? is it the right thing to do?'_ Shinji wracked his mind for the answer, all the while ruefully noting how easy it was for the extraordinary to become commonplace. If he had been in this position just a fortnight ago he would be on the floor sucking his thumb and praying for it all to go away. And now he was deciding whether or nor to make a huge commitment, one he hadn't even made to the two girls that lived within him. He thought of the pain Shamshel had experienced when he had been drawn into the Eva and the fact that he had felt nothing at their separation and knew that he could not allow such a one sided pledge to continue if he could prevent it.

Decided he stepped forward and reached out and upwards to the Eva.

"Shin, what-" The shadow of the Eva shifted, it's motionless right arm that had been lain on it's knee lifting and lowering itself towards the boy. It's palm open it gently held itself in front of the tiny lilim in front of it. Stepping forward quickly Shinji pressed his palm to that of the Eva making his decision known, even though the huge hand of the Eva dwarfed him.

A few seconds later the hand retracted and moved back to it's previous spot on the Evangelion's knee. The head lifted upwards, it's eyes now on the distant horizon, startling the birds that had begun to take rest on it's horn, scattering them. There was a moment of settling before the fire in the behemoth's eyes dimmed and faded.

"What did you do?" Shamshel whispered, looking up at the giant in awe.

"I made a pact with it. Wherever I am it will come to me, wherever it is I will come to it. If it calls me." The elder girl gasped and spun towards him.

"What!" Shinji shrugged.

"It seems like so little. It protected me through battle after battle, it promised it's aid to me whenever I called it. It... was like it was making a slave of itself. Just doing whatever it was ordered to do. Like Asuka used to say Rei was." He sighed. "Like I was. I can't ask that of it. This way we are equals. Just because I don't want to be a slave anymore doesn't mean I want to be a slave master."

Shamshel stared upwards, speechless. Light glinted strangely on the Eva's left shoulder and she squinted in an effort to see better. Giving up and using her Angelic powers she brought her focus on the scene closer. She gasped. A transparent facsimile of Shinji stood on the shoulder plate, dressed in his plug suit and wearing the sync connecter headsets.

"A little bit of the Eva is in me... and now a little bit of me is in the Eva." Shamshel turned to Shinji and stared.

_'How can one boy change so much so quickly? Has he changed? Is this just the man he always was?'_ Shinji crouched next to Eve and ruffled her hair gently.

"C'mon. We better go before someone misses us."

"Yup!" Shinji grinned and stood up again.

"Just give me a second. There's something else I have to do."

"Your gonna try and bring her out with us aren't you?" Shinji looked at Shamshel out of the corner of his eye and nodded.

"The Eva told me... she weeps. She is alone in the darkness and the only times she returns to the light are when she comes out to protect me." He sighed. "With all the Angels gone that probably won't happen again. I can't leave her there." Shamshel nodded her understanding.

He closed his eyes and reached out once again, searching for the conduit that made him and the Evangelion one, like they were when he synced in the plug. Quickly finding it he delved into the corridor, streaking through the ether searching for the point that did not belong. Shinji found the point of incongruity without much delay. It was a glistening point of red, like a ruby prism or a small but bright red star. Reaching for it, he grasped it in his hand. The light was so bright he could see the bones through his flesh. He retracted, retracing his steps, bypassing the mindscape he had stood in only a few minutes previously and returned to his body.

Shinji opened his eyes and found Eve staring at him, poised just a few inches away from his face.

"Gaa!" Shinji tried to back peddle quickly and succeeded in smashing his head into the rail behind him. Eve giggled at his antics. Feeling his legs arching he stood and tried to work some feeling back into his muscles. He wasn't sure how long he had sat there, but he had lost a bit of circulation.

"Er, Shin I think you need to look at this." Shamshel's uncertain voice prompted him to turn to her.

"What the hell?" Beyond the bronze skinned girl the gantry way abruptly ended. Walking over to the edge, he knelt and saw the edge had been sheared cleanly. A quick look over his shoulder confirmed that the other side was the same. Turning to regard the silent Evangelion he pondered.

_'I-It cut the bridges? To keep other people away? So much for being low key about this. I didn't even do what I was meant to do!'_ He thought impotently, knowing that there wasn't much chance he'd get near Unit 02 for a while. Turning around he moved to the centre of the platform, feeling uncomfortable with his position so close to a drop into LCL when he couldn't swim.

"Shin..." He turned to Shamshel, trying to make it look like natural movement for the camera's that were now probably working overtime. She took this as aknowledgement and continued. "Are you ok? You didn't seem like yourself in there...?" Shinji thought about the time he had spent in the mindscape.

_-I... I think you're right. Maybe linking with the Eva, gave me new perspective y'know? Made me think a little from it's point of view? There isn't much to fear when you're an Eva right?-_ Shinji sighed, wishing a little that he was that brave all the time.

"So what about your promise to big boy over there?" She gestured to the purple giant. "You gonna stick to it?" Shinji looked away, abashed.

_-I know normally... I wouldn't have made a promise like that. But, I-I'm glad I did. I will keep it if I can.-_ Shinji wondered just how likely it was that he could keep such a promise.

_'Maybe thinking about things from it's point of view wasn't so helpful after all.'_ All at once he noticed a hard round sensation in his right palm. Bringing what he now saw to be a clenched fist up to his face, he unwound his fingers and found a small red jewel in the palm of his hand. Hearing Shamshel's gasp he closed his hand again in case he dropped it.

"Is that what it looks like?" Shinji swallowed. Shamshel continued. "Our souls were held within the cores. Is that... Is that core your mother? Her soul?" Shinji nodded tightly remembering the bright point of crimson light in the darkness. "You freed her Shin. She's not trapped anymore." Shinji looked up to see Shamshel smiling at him happily. He smiled weakly back.

_'My mom's free...'_

Eve had remained on the edge of the gantry swinging her legs and humming a little tune to herself idly, but yelped in surprise when the metal door across the chasm fell through and plummeted into the amber sea below. Shinji turned to face the sound as Eve scampered to hide behind the two of them, peeking out behind their legs. As the smoke faded away Shinji could see a team of workers moving cutting equipment out of the way and rolling a make shift bridge out to cross the distance between the door and the platform on which Shinji stood. Shinji ignored that, only noting it numbly. All he could see was the dark suited figure behind the workers. The figure whose sepia stained gaze was focused solely on him. His father.

* * *

_"I am your father, Shinji."_

_"NOOOOOOOOOO! That's, That's not possible! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

_Sorry couldn't resist. Anyway That's another chapter done. Hope you liked. I tried to give an explanation for Shinji's OOCness that you'll swallow hook, line and.. erm I mean understand and agree with. Yeah. That's what I meant..._

_Anyway some brief points and then some questions for you! Yes YOU! Yay You! _

_The bit where Rei says 'I eat sand' is a tribute to the Love Hina flash dating game on-line. One of the numerous secrets in the game is that Rei appears and claims to ingest sand. Then her head falls off if I remember correctly._

_Ok so I lied. It wasn't some brief points, it was one brief point. Get over it._

_Yay you time!_

_I'm hurtin' for cities and countries that i can set the 'Angelic search' in. I don't need to be writing a chapter then having some smartass telling me that the country I've set it in is underwater. So if someone could tell me where exactly is and is not above water I would appreciate it hugely. So much I might even say thanks. Na not that much. But if you give me your real name I will put you into the story at some point. Hell it doesn't have to be your real name, just a name of your choice that I can use. For example Ted, Norm or Sam. Spasticmonkeylove, Gottagetiton and Eiffel65 are not names I can use. Nor is anything similar._

_Finally, one last point of contention. Makoto Hyuga and Aoba Shigeru. Which are their first names and which are there last? All the rest are easy, but on half the sites I've been to one name comes first and one other sites it changes! Which is the japanese one and which is english dammit! _

_Also any and all confirmed information or at least highly hinted at information about Gendo and Yui's courtship would be extremely helpful. Thanks in advance. Don't worry if you can't help, I'll just hunt you down and murder your family pet. Failing that then you._

_Enough Yay You time. _

_Ja Ne readers._


	4. Child

_Right, now as those you who reviewed Chapter 2 realize Chapter 4 is going to cover what Chapter 3 should have covered. It was intended that Chapter 3 would take up these events but I found myself fleshing out some parts more than I thought I would so it became far too long for comfort. As things stand it's still the longest chapter thus far I think. I've been told that it drags a bit, so I'll try to prevent long drawn out states of nothingness. Some people are under the impression this is a story culminating in a giant battle at the end. I have re-wrote the parts in Chapter 1 which concern the 'Ender'. This is because I don't really think that's the direction to take the fic in._

_Anywhatsit on with the show. I hope you all like. Or at least continue in a state of ambivalence. As always please read and review._

_Me no own, so you no sue! Bitches._

**XVII: Child**

As the thin metal walkway was slowly levered across the intervening gap Shinji stood back and waited, not wanting to get in the way of the workers efforts. He watched the make-shift bridge slowly approach before being dropped onto the steel floor with a sharp clang. Wincing at the sharp sound and trying to avoid his father's auger like stare Shinji watched the technicians scramble across the gap and set about securing the loose metal. Striding through the milling workers Gendo Ikari traversed the bridge, his gaze intently on Unit 01, before deigning to spare a glance for the boy.

"What occurred in here, pilot?" Shinji swallowed and looked away, unable to meet his father's eyes.

"I-I don't know. I was... meditating and then I noticed that the plates had fallen..." He gestured weakly to the scene behind the taller man, still unable to make eye contact. "That was only a few minutes ago." His voice trailed off into a whisper.

"Why were you here?" Shinji tensed at the question. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Eve and Shamshel moving through the increasing numbers of labourers like insubstantial mist. "Well? I don't have time to waste here pilot."

"I-I wanted t-to be near... h-her." Shinji muttered, feeling the tiny crimson jewel digging into his palm as his fist clenched. Gendo stared down at him. Hunching his shoulders under the invisible onslaught, Shinji wished feverishly that he could be anywhere except where he was. Finally his father turned away silently. The younger Ikari stared at the floor and retreated, taking that as a dismissal.

"You were so deep in meditation that you did not hear the catwalk fall?" Shinji jerked to a stop. While he hadn't actually been meditating, it was true that he hadn't heard the fall and resultant splash into the LCL reservoir below.

"Y-yes." He stuttered, sounding strangled.

"Strange. Your teachers always used to complain that you had no aptitude for meditation. A curious reversal." With that Gendo walked away, never turning to aknowledge the boy he should have called 'son'.

Fists clenched and shaking Shinji walked slowly towards the freshly cut open door, not noticing the looks of pity and sympathy on many of the staff's faces. Stepping over the small lip of the dissected portal Shinji kept his head down as he passed through the cages, only briefly noting that his new path was taking him further and further away from Evangelion Unit 02, his original objective. He caught both Eve and Shamshel walking along side him out of his peripheral vision. Ignoring them he continued onwards.

Soon he had circled around through the cages and was back at the main lift in which he and Ayanami had arrived. A fleeting curiosity about where Rei had gotten to came and went without to much time in between the two. Feeling dejected Shinji stabbed the call button for he elevator with his index finger and shoved his hands in his pockets. Now slightly calmer than he had been he opened his hand and released the tiny jewel that held his mother's soul, letting fall to the inner lining of his trouser leg.

"Are you ok Shinji?" Eve's small voice broke him out of his dismal mood and he couldn't help but smile slightly at her open display of concern for him. Trying not to look at either of the two girls - he couldn't help but note that Shamshel looked just as concerned for him as Eve, but more reluctant to speak - since there were still at least a dozen techs in the area he replied without words.

-It's ok Eve, I'm fine.- The girl stepped closer, to the point where if she had a body she would have been leaning against his leg.

"Who was the mean man? I didn't like him.- Despite being reminded of his father Shinji's smile grew a little. There were many things that he could call his father. 'Mean' wasn't one of them. Much like calling an Eva ' slightly taller than average', the sheer size of the understatement involved should in some way fracture time and space. Pushing aside the miasma of depression that threatened to sweep over him he answered the little girl.

-He's my father.- Eve looked confused. Shamshel looked away. Shinji gathered from the bronze girl that she had garnered some information from her time dormant within him, though she was reluctant to detail just how much she knew. It was quickly established however that she knew the basics of Shinji's unhappy childhood and his less than familial relationship with his father.

Shinji wasn't sure if the smaller girl really understood the concept of a 'father'. It was not a relationship she would have any experience of. However in his talks with her over the past few days since her liberation from Unit 01 she had shown areas of knowledge that he would not have expected. Perhaps a legacy of her infrequent meetings with Yui Ikari.

Thankfully, he saw Shamshel placed a gentle hand on Eve's shoulder and shake her head quietly when the little girl looked up at her inquisitively. Suddenly saddened at the thought that she might have upset Shinji, Eve bowed her head letting her long midnight blue hair obscure her face like a watery curtain.

"I'm... sorry." Hearing the little girl's mumble, Shinji felt the tears prick at his eyes. Forgoing subtlety he turned and knelt in front of the girl, making a halfhearted attempt to fiddle with his shoelace for anyone that got too close as he did so. Unable to touch her or urge her eyes to meet his he settled for leaning in close to her, his head poised just over her shoulder so he was almost talking into her ear.

"Don't be sorry for what's not your fault, ok?" The breathy whisper stole the girls attention, as much because he had chosen to speak out loud as because of his words. Her look of stunned surprise quickly melted into a still teary smile and the girl nodded once, sniffling. Smiling at her once more Shinji turned back to the elevator, his thoughts lost in themselves.

Shamshel smiled softly at the sight and crouched down to hug Eve, soothing her sniffles.

_'Is that you wanted to show me, Asuka? That I didn't have to apologize for everything? Did it hurt you to here me say sorry for things I had no hand in as much as it hurt me to hear Eve apologize for stumbling across a painful subject?'_ He snickered silently remembering the natural disposition of his former roommate. _'More likely it just pissed you off. But it was still good advice Asuka. Asuka...' _ The boy sighed at the thought of the vibrant Germangirl confined to a hospital bed, forever sleeping. He could think of no worse fate for someone such as her. It was like trapping Rei in a carnival. They were just too out of their element. He remembered the last words she had spoken to him. He remembered his weaknesses. And he remembered that this time he felt very sorry indeed.

A sudden clang interrupted his musings, spinning him around to find the source. A ceiling vent cover had fallen to the floor behind him, drawing the attention of a few of the workers around the area as well as himself. Looking up into the darkness of the vent and remembering his own trip through the maze to battle the 9th Shinji approached warily.

As abruptly as the cover had fallen an orange blur fell through the hole and crashed to the floor with a muffled grunt. Leaping backwards with an unfortunately high pitched squeak, Shinji found that the blur had coalesced into two groaning workers in orange boiler suits, one lying tangled with the other. A third black grinning head jutted out over the rim of the hole above them and leered down at them, his teeth nearly glowing white in his dark face.

"Come on you guys get a room already! Yeeshhh!" His two fallen comrades glared up at him before quickly extricating themselves from the compromising position they had both found themselves in, under their co-workers watchful smirk. Standing and cracking his back the taller one reached down to help the other up.

However a timely snort and an inquisition about whether they 'were holding hands now' caused him to release his grip suddenly and rail at the third member of the group, while the second fell back to the floor with a yelp.

Shinji heard the quiet chuckling of the rest of the techs who had continued their work with one eye on the proceedings. Everyone likes in-work entertainment. The third man jumped down to the floor, his work boots making a solid thud on the grating, while the second levered himself up muttering disconsolately. The landing made Shinji recall his and Asuka's less then perfect entrance to the bridge after crawling through the ducts. He had always secretly thought that Rei's perfect dismount had been her way of silently making fun of them.

"Aw dammit Leon, ya got us mixed up in there again! This ain't the right cage!" The second man who had spent most of the time thus far on the floor blinked owlishly at his surrounding, not noticing Shinji staring at them with a kind of horrified fascination.

"How can you tell, Derbus?" All three looked American and their names were certainly not Japanese, not the ones that he had heard so far anyway. The dark skinned man, now known to be Derbus turned and snarled at the thin lanky looking man before him, dressed in an identical bright orange boiler suit to himself with a bright blue bandana wrapped around his close cropped blond hair, revealed a little because the fall had partially dislodged the cloth.

The much taller dark skinned man was by far more muscular and seemed happy to show it as unlike the other two he had shed the top half of his boiler suit and had tied it around his waist with the arms, revealing a oil stained white vest underneath. He was also apparently about to throttle his slender companion.

"Well, lets see, the number on the wall behind you says Cage 01, not Cage 05, the kid is not here and THERE'S NO BIGASS PURPLE MONSTER IN THE CORNER!" Shinji was fairly certain that the third member of the group was banging his head none too gently against a steel wall behind the quarreling two. The slender man sweatdropped at his larger 'friend's' roar.

"Ah. Yes. In light of evidence that has just been brought to my attention it seems that a reallocation of our mobile resources as inadvertently occurred." He scratched the back of his head grinning weakly.

"Wuh?" A sigh was heard from the third man, somewhat older than the other two and sporting a red cap with the slogan 'Bossman' printed across the brow.

"He means that he got us lost Derbus. _Again. _Right Leon?"

"That's what I just said isn't it?" Shinji thought he saw Derbus' eyes go swirly. The third man grimaced and waved a clenched fist under Leon's nose.

"Thanks to your 'creative' navigation, we've visited every cage so far except the right one! I've nearly fallen into the LCL twice and the last time we fell out we nearly crushed Miss Ayanami! _And she was on the bridge at the time!"_ The man's voice had risen to a near shriek.

"Chill Maze! It's nothing a little tube crawlin' can't fix!"

"Much more of this and your condition won't be something a little body cast can't fix. How're we gonna get to the kid first if we don't hurry? Dammit I've got to buy that bastard Aishi drinks for a week if we don't beat him there!" He reached out and grabbed Leon by the lapels and brought him closer to his suddenly gimlet like glare. "I can't afford to lose that bet Leon. _You_ can't afford for me to lose that bet Leon." The thin man's grin had solidified into a rictus.

"Look behind you dumbass." A muttered call from one of the techs across the catwalk who refrained from looking up from his work as he spoke neatly centred the three American's eyes firmly on Shinji.

"Damn." All three slumped disconsolately. Three sweat drops, one visible and two not, appeared in the Cage. Shamshel and Eve had remained silent thus far, for the same reason that anyone remains silent when they're listening to a man avidly telling them that turtles fly south for the winter, or indeed the first time anyone sees a warm water penguin in the bathroom. Just watching the events unfold was enough to make the three young ones fear that ridiculousness was contagious.

While the eldest man proceeded to throttle Leon, who was now approaching the colour Unit 00 used to be, the dark skinned man approached Shinji grinning. Standing before the boy he offered his huge hand. A little hesitantly Shinji offered his own, immediately regretting it as all the bones in his hand became intimately acquainted with each other under the man's vice like grip.

"Pleased to meet ya, Shinji Ikari! Names Derrick, but most people call me Derbus. The blueberry back there," A casual indication of the vainly struggling man behind him. "is Leon. And the guy about to be serving twenty-five to life for homicide is Maze." Sighing loudly Maze dropped Leon's still twitching body and walked over to the young man, while Leon scrambled around the metal work in blind joy to be free almost resulting in him scuttling off the bridge and plummeting into the amber sea below.

"Nice to meet ya kid. It looks like your safe and everything then." The older man grinned slightly and rubbed his fingers under the brim of his cap.

"Er, yeah. T-They cut the door down and passed a bridge across." Leon approached the group, having hauled himself back over the lip of the catwalk. He looked behind him at the chaos in the distant cages.

"Looks like old man Ikari's team got there first, Bossman." Maze's grin tightened into a mild scowl.

"Pompous jackass." His eyes flicked to Shinji. "No offense kid." Shinji nearly smiled.

"None taken." Maze grinned widely again and Leon burst into laughter. Derbus chuckled quietly.

"Told you I'd like this kid if I ever met him." Maze looked over his shoulder at the milling confusion at the door to Cage 05 then at the other two men. "Looks like we'd better get going boys." He turned back to Shinji and nodded slightly. "It was nice to meet ya kid. See ya around." His eyes flicked up to the lift behind Shinji. "Oh, uh, they were shifting some large machinery into the lift when we left earlier so that'll be why it'll take so long to get here. Should be another few minutes. See ya." With a series of quick waves the three turned and set off for the milling mass of techs four cages away.

Shinji heard Derbus speak again.

"So when are you two gonna announce it?"

"What?" Maze seemed to know this was going nowhere he would like.

"Your engagement. I saw the way you two were holding hands! There was some real love." Derbus faked a sniffle.

"Oh, it was so romantic! The way he just came out and proposed! It was-" After Leon had begun to add his little touch to the story Maze had dropped back a step or two, before swinging his left arm around in a crescent arc slapping first Derbus, then Leon in the back of their heads, knocking them off their feet. The sweatdrops that had never really left doubled in size.

"He's just shy! He loves me really, I know it!" Shinji was torn away from the sight of Maze determinedly kicking Leon repeatedly in the crotch by the sound of the elevator doors opening behind him. Tearing his eyes away he was met with a view of three labourers crammed around a large piece of machinery that Shinji couldn't identify. And in front of it all, pressed up against the mesh of the elevator was Misato Katsuragi, looking like a fly pinned to the wall. As the secondary wire mesh doors slid open, disgorging it's load Shinji barely had time to squeak before he was met with the insurmountable force of his guardian and nominal commanding officer's bosom.

Turning slowly red as Misato gave him a bone crushing hug Shinji feebly tried to escape, hearing muttered comments about how some guys got all the luck from the workers as they hauled the machinery past the two.

"Shinji! I was so worried!" Abruptly Misato released him, shoving him away so she could get a better appraisal of his condition, the force of the movement nearly giving Shinji whiplash. "Are you ok? Are you hurt anywhere? Tell me!" In her panic she started shaking him back and forth making his vision a smear of colour as the blood in his body was forced to go ways it didn't want to go. Eventually, noticing her ward frothing at the mouth gently she stopped.

"I'm fine Misato." Shinji's head was spinning, chibi Unit 01's dancing around him, doing the Foxtrot in disturbing synchronicity. Soon enough he was back in the back breaking hug, avidly listening for the first vertebrae to snap, as Misato's relief was released. Eventually letting the stunned boy go, Misato dragged him into the elevator behind them. Pressing the button for the command deck, Misato turned to look at Shinji. Now that she was assured of his well being she intended to ask a few questions.

"What happened down there? The first I heard was that Unit 01 used it's A.T. field to sever both connecting bridges and that you were trapped there meditating." Shinji shrugged, uncomfortable with the prospect of lying to Misato, not least because he was incredibly bad at it.

"That's pretty much what happened Misato." His voice was soft and hesitant. "I went there for a while, and decided to meditate for a bit. Next thing I knew the bridges were gone."

"You've never meditated at the apartment. Why did you decide to start now?" The mauve haired woman's voice was a mixture of genuine curiosity, with undertones of suspicion. She could tell something was wrong with the picture that Shinji was presenting her. She refrained from asking what he was doing in the cage in the first place. She could hazard guesses at that quite easily.

Shinji watched the ticker flick quietly through the floors as the lift rose.

"I used to do it at my teachers, but I wasn't very good. It's been a long time but I thought it was something to try." The question hung between them of exactly why he had felt the need to try in an Eva cage rather than his home, but Misato decided to let it go. It wasn't as if Shinji's decision to meditate had an effect on the Eva. If Shinji wanted to keep some matters to himself that was his right. She may be his commanding officer but if it didn't affect the boy adversely or the mission, she had long ago decided to leave him his secrets. Teasing was one thing, but prying was another.

Shinji watched his guardian out of the corner of his eye, seeing her looking blankly towards the door, her mind obviously elsewhere.

"Do you think she bought it?" Shamshel hissed into his ear. The two incorporeal girls had gone on ahead into the lift during Shinji's back-breaking greeting and had waited for the toe house mates to join them. Shamshel was stood next to Shinji, while Eve stood between the two physical presences in the lift, darting wide eyed looks between Shinji and Misato.

-Why are you whispering? She can't hear you no matter how loud you are.- Shamshel froze for a second then sweatdropped.

"Oh, yeah. Well, do you think she bought it?" The girl continued in a more normal tone of voice, leaning back and flicking her mane of bronze hair over her shoulder.

-Probably not. But if she'd not asking questions does it really matter?- Shamshel shrugged briefly, before the door opened ahead of them.

"How did your examination with Ritsuko go?" Misato's tone of voice made it clear she had less than pleasant thoughts about her college friend. Shinji walked beside her as they both stepped out of the lift and walked towards the command centre, only a few junctions away.

"It went ok. She and I... talked." Misato shot him a glance unsure whether to pursue that one or not. Sensing that his guardian might be curious about his encounter with the blonde scientist Shinji spoke again. "Um, why are we going to the bridge Misato?" Successfully distracted the Major groaned quietly.

"Do you know how much paperwork an Evangelion waking up, slicing up Nerv property then going back to sleep again creates?" Shinji shook his head dumbly. "A lot. I'm going to talk to Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki then we're going home so I can drown myself in beer and paperwork." A quiet sob escaped.

"Oh. Ok." Shinji mumbled meekly and continued alongside her. He didn't really want to go with her to the bridge; he felt it likely that the sub-commander would want to talk to him about what had happened. But he couldn't think of a reason for him not to go. Continuing past the last intersection they turned a final corner and moved through the automatic door onto the bridge. As always the bright light of the holographic representation of Japan's topography made him squint until he could get used to the relatively low lighting of the rest of the bridge.

Soon enough however his sight sharpened and he became accustomed to the dim light. He noticed Eve and Shamshel had moved forward and that Eve was staring around the room with childish wonder on her face. Shamshel was less impressed, having been there before. Trying not to look at the two girls, something that to others would look like staring at an empty patch of space, Shinji followed Misato into the command centre. The bridge staff turned to watch the new entrants to the room, their eyes fixated on Shinji.

Feeling a little disturbed by their reactions Shinji nearly tripped over his own feet before hurrying to catch up with Misato. He paused briefly when he saw the former pilot of Eva Unit 00 sitting in Makoto's chair, which she had swivelled around in to observe the two newcomers the same as the rest of the crew. His eyes were quickly drawn to a fallen grate lying next to her foot and he frowned. looking up he realised that a ventilation shaft ran overhead and the grate had fallen from there. Abruptly he remembered Maze's rage fuelled tirade at Leon.

_"I've nearly fallen into the LCL twice and the last time we fell out we nearly crushed Miss Ayanami! And she was on the bridge at the time!"_ Shinji's eyebrow twitched briefly as he mused that Leon must be to navigation what Misato was to driving. Pushing that thought away he moved to a set of seats and sat down waiting for Misato to finish with Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki and Dr Akagi, both of whom were talking to her now.

"Hey Shinji, you ok?" Shinji looked up from his perusal of the floor and saw Shigeru grinning at him. Smiling weakly in return he raised a hand in a weak wave.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine."

"Good to hear. Can't have you back in the infirmary again!" Maya turned to scowl at the long haired man at his words.

"Shigeru! Don't say such dumb things!" The guitar loving bridge bunny just grinned at her. Rei remained silent. Shinji smiled weakly again and returned his gaze to the floor. A handful of seconds later he saw a shadow appear in front of him. Looking up he saw a smiling Makoto Hyuga offering him a cold drink. He had a selection of others in the crook of his arm and looked like he'd just been on a run to the vending machine in the corridor beyond the command post.

Taking the drink and thanking the spectacled tech, Shinji watched him smile and move towards the others. He handed a couple up to Maya and Shigeru, before offering one to Rei, who accepted the drink hesitantly and spent a few seconds examining the can silently before quietly popping the lid and taking a sip of the beverage. The lack of expression on her face made it difficult to tell whether she liked or disliked the drink, but her continuing to sip now and then made Shinji think she might have liked it.

_'What's she doing here though? And why is Hyuga sitting all the way over there?' _Shinji mused on these new developments half-heartedly, in reality watching Eve and Shamshel stroll about the room. Shamshel noticed his attention on them and grinned slyly. Shinji tried not to sweat in agitation. Shamshel smirking like that would mean nothing good.

The dark skinned girl moved around the room towards the ever-stoic Rei and crouched before the girl, quietly drinking from her can. She then proceeded to make faces at the girl and dance about in front of her. Shinji nearly choked on his drink as Shamshel danced around the quiet albino, trying not to laugh and call attention to himself. Eve was giggling at the view.

Trying to avoid looking at the view in front of him, Shinji turned to look at the triumvirate of Fuyutsuki, Misato and Ritsuko, who were huddled together and conferring quietly.

_'I wonder what's taking them so long?'_ His eye strayed back to the continuing mostly invisible antics in the centre of the bridge. Unable to help himself he snorted some of his drink through his nose at the sight of Shamshel wearing a huge grin and wiggling her backside in Rei's unseeing face, blushing as some of the nearer crew members turned to stare at him.

_'Damn invisible girls.'_

_

* * *

_

Misato stalked across the command deck towards the blonde scientist and the grey Sub-Commander, having left Shinji to sit by the wall and wait. She was understandably displeased though she had gone to lengths to hide this fact from the young boy. She had tonnes of paperwork to plough through, all because of an event that should not be possible and now she had to deal with additional worries. As soon as she had arrived at Nerv she had been contacted by Fuyutsuki, informing her that the Third Child was safe and that as soon as she could retrieve him she was to report to the bridge.

Both Ritsuko and Fuyutsuki were in conference over a panel, which from what she could see was showing a more complicated version of a sync graph. Misato sighed. She hated those things. She always ended up asking Ritsuko or Maya what scores the children had ended up with rather than trying to decipher the gibberish herself. Saved time and brain cells that way. Approaching them she made her presence known.

"Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki, Doctor Akagi." She nodded to each, though it was clear that it was only formality when it came to the latter of the two. "Reporting as ordered." Fuyutsuki turned towards her, face without expression and greeted her.

"Ah, Major Katsuragi. You managed to retrieve Shinji without incident?" His worn face relaxed into a slight smile as he asked.

"Yes sir. It seems the crew had already broken through when I arrived. Shinji was waiting to meet me at the elevator."

"Good, good..." The old man trailed off, darting a glance at Ritsuko who had stood behind him silent thus far. The blonde stepped forward.

"Misato, we've found some disturbing readings concerning Shinji and Eva Unit 01." The mauve haired Major flicked her gaze towards the other woman, worried by the Sub-Commander's silence. Her eyes narrowed.

"What kind of readings?" Ritsuko sighed and gestured towards the readouts behind her half-heartedly, knowing that in all likelihood Misato would be unable to decipher them.

"Readings that indicate that the Third Child is capable of syncing with Unit 01 without being in the entry plug." Misato gaped.

"But that's impossible!" She whispered harshly. "No one can sync if their not in the plug! You said that to me yourself!" Ritsuko sighed tiredly and shrugged.

"I don't know Misato. Ordinarily I would say the same but these readings... They spike when Unit 01 became active earlier today and rise into the ares that indicate synchronisation." Unconsciously Misato had joined the huddle the other two had previously made up.

"So? Why do you think it's Shinji? It could be someone else, if the readings are accurate at all." Ritsuko shook her head.

"The graph reflects Shinji's brain waves almost perfectly. No-one else could fake such a feat. As for the readings being wrong... All the incidents coinciding at one time makes this more than coincidence. Besides..." She trailed off and looked away.

"We already have precedent." Misato spun toward Fuyutsuki, shocked at his words.

"What? Who!" She found it hard to believe either Rei or Asuka had managed to sync with their Eva's from outside the plug. Rei's sync ratios were too low and Asuka, well it just didn't seem like something Asuka could do. She had to admit if there was one of the pilots that could achieve such a thing, she would have thought it would be Shinji.

"The Fifth Child." The blonde scientist's voice was soft.

"Then that means..."

"Yes. Shinji Ikari could be an Angel."

* * *

Shinji had been sat silently for nearly ten minutes and needless to say the floor was becoming even more boring to look at then it originally had been. However it was the only respite he had left. Every time he looked up Shamshel began to wiggle her backside in Rei's face again. For whatever reason the blue haired girl had not turned back around once her drink had been handed to her and now the golden maned Angel had seemingly set up permanent camp right in front of Rei, ready to start her antics again any time Shinji looked up.

It was truly absurd but Shinji couldn't help but laugh every time she did it. It didn't help that she had somehow roped Eve into her antics as well. An unwelcome vision of both Angelic girls dancing in front of Rei's unseeing eyes, grinning hugely, forced Shinji to wrestle a snort of laughter under control. People were going to start thinking he was unstable at this rate.

Suddenly he heard harsh footsteps echoing on the steel plated floors and momentarily forgetting himself looked up. Immediately both girls started gyrating madly. Biting the inside of his cheek madly Shinji turned to see Misato approaching a vision of fake cheer slapped across her face. Standing to meet her, he was surprised to see a hint of tears in her eyes.

"Misato..."

"Shinji, this could take longer than I thought. Why don't you head down to the lounge and grab a drink or something? As soon as I'm done here I'll come down and grab you, ok?" Shinji nodded slowly, glad to be away from the crowd in the command centre no matter how well meaning they were, but still concerned about Misato's seeming changed mood.

"Misato a-are you ok?" His guardian nodded her head hurriedly, scrubbing at her eyes.

"Yeah, just got something in my eyes... I'll see you in a few ok?" Barely waiting for Shinji to nod again she turned away and hurried back to Ritsuko and Fuyutsuki, who stood with their back to Shinji avidly studying some readout or another. Still worried, Shinji slowly made his way out of the command centre, collecting both girls on the way. He was so absorbed in thought that he did not notice Rei watching him as he left the cavernous room.

The trip in the elevator was brief. It seemed that no one had used it since he and Misato so it was still on the top floor which meant he didn't have to wait for it to arrive.

-_Are you two always gonna be doing things like that?-_ Eve giggled and Shamshel smirked, looking disturbingly reminiscent of Asuka.

"Damn right!" Shinji barely heard her answer. He was wrapped up in thoughts of his fellow pilot.

_'Not any more.'_ He thought sadly remembering her inability to sync with the Eva after the battle with the 15th, and her subsequent breakdown. He remembered her last words to him, the way she had looked so broken and defensive, like a wild animal trying to cover it's wounds. He sighed. The lift doors opened and he stepped out, the two girls keeping pace with him. Absently he noted that Shamshel was playing and joking with Eve, both of them laughing lightly.

The employee lounge was situated a level above the Evangelion holding areas and large panels of the walls were taken up by large plexi-glass panels that looked out over the cages. Shinji realised dully that it must have been one of these windows that his father had looked down at him from when he had first arrived in Tokyo-3. He found the thought curiously unsettling. Sighing and making his way over to a drinks machine he slipped a few yen coins in and selected a can of tea. Turning he watched Eve dart through the rows of seating facing both inwards and outwards, scrambling to avoid a mildly enraged Shamshel. Shinji wasn't sure what Shamshel intended to do if or when she caught the little girl but Eve seemed unconcerned her high sweet laugh echoing in the long seated corridor, audible to only three sets of ears.

His eyes traced the two of them as Eve slipped from one isle to another, narrowly avoiding capture by the elder girl. Shamshel, who had committed herself to much to her lunge ended up diving through mid air and skidding along the floor on her stomach. Growling she launched herself back to her feet, crouching and ready to spring, before launching herself over the rows of seats, lithe as a cat, and pounced on Eve who had stopped running to watch what the dark skinned girl would do. The tiny girl barely managed to 'eep' as Shamshel bared her to the ground.

Shinji's view of the events was now hidden by a row of seats. Sipping his newly purchased drink he wandered closer and nearly fell over backwards in surprise when Shamshel suddenly reared to her feet, holding Eve by her arms in front of her. Shinji noted that her eyes had narrowed and a vein was bulging slightly in her forehead.

"Now then Eve... what did I say about pulling my hair? Hmm?" Her voice was deceptively soft, but the twitch in her eye was a bit of a give away. Eve grinned and tried to stifle her laughter. "Perhaps you don't remember? Well let me say it again then." She started to shake the girl in time with her words until Eve was just a giggling blur. "Don't - pull - my - hair. Ok?" Shinji didn't hear anything but Shamshel apparently took on of Eve's blurred gurgles to be agreement. Sighing she placed the smaller girl down and tried to force her eye to stop twitching. Shinji laughed as Eve stumbled around, obviously unbalanced from her high speed lecture.

Shamshel's head snapped towards him, eyes narrow, killing his laughter immediately and making him sweat. He swore he could see little flames in her eyes, burning with righteous anger.

"You find this amusing perhaps, Shinji?" Trying to plaster a grin across his features he shook his head hurriedly. Her fire based glare disappeared in an instant, replaced with a sweet smile, making Shinji twitch in agitation. Just as suddenly her glare exploded tenfold and the veins bulged a new. Leaning to the side slightly, Shinji saw a smiling Eve with her hands in Shamshel's hair, giving a gently tug. He turned his head back to Shamshel's face and blinked, noting the foam at the mouth and sudden appearance of tiny curved horns, poking through her hair just above her forehead. As far as horns went they looked almost cute. Eve backed away still giggling as Shamshel's head rotated 180 degrees to glare at her, slightly nauseating Shinji.

Breaking for cover the girl sprinted down the length of the employee lounge, Shamshel hot on her tail. Shinji remained where he was, still shell-shocked.

_'Must you... keep changing moods... so quickly...?' _Shaking his head abruptly he followed the two girls further down the corridor at a more sedate pace. Moving into the next compartment the idea occurred to him. Quickly moving towards the large viewing window, he peeked over the edge so as not to alert the milling workers below unduly. The huge and imposing crimson head of Eva Unit 02 sat beneath the window, it's four dull eyes staring away from Shinji.

Settling into a seat among the row nearest to the window, Shinji sipped his drink contemplatively.

_'Basically I'm sort of syncing with the Eva without being in the plug... but I've only synced with Unit 02 once and Asuka was with me then. Will it work now?'_ He shrugged slightly, unfortunately aware of the fact that there were probably camera's scattered throughout the hallway. Eve ran past him and leapt onto the seat next to where he sat, trying to hide behind him as much as possible, still giggling. Shinji looked up and started seeing a seething Shamshel looming over him. The room suddenly seemed much darker as Shamshel leaned closer to the cowering pair.

_'Why the hell am I afraid? She can't even hurt me!' _Shinji made an attempt to sit up straighter in his chair, but thought better of it when he caught sight of the girl's glowing red eyes. He was suitably disturbed.

**"GRASSSHHH..."** The girl hissed, eyes firmly locked on the tiny bundle of girl perched next to Shinji.

"Y-Yeah about that..." Shinji shook his head quickly, trying to dispel thoughts of endless torture and the wrath of Gods. "Erm, c-can I talk to the Eva if I'm this close to it?" The darkness suddenly receded and the fires of hell disappeared from Shamshel's eyes, their unnatural scarlet hue abruptly returning to their usual burnished golden gleam. She looked down at him quizzically, her head cocked slightly to the side apparently not understanding what he meant. Silently Shinji gestured to the window behind her, still a little weirded out by the titanic mood swings the girl seemed capable of.

_'Celestial PMS... OhGodOhGodOhGodOhGodOhGodOhGod...'_ Whilst the boy silently prayed to the heavens for a reprieve of some kind and pointed out that if such a reprieve took the form of a well placed lightning bolt it was fine with him really, the Angelic girl wandered over to the window, the smaller girl at her side with her earlier concerns apparently forgotten. Looking out over the railing she saw a swarm of workers scrambling over the cat walks and gantrys that surrounded Unit 02. To the far left she could see the doorway leading to the cage housing the purple behemoth and the workers flocking to and from. As she watched a dark suited figure emerged from the throng and started to walk determinedly towards the far exit that would lead him to the elevator. He seemed to be talking on his phone animatedly.

Hearing her little companion's 'wow' of awe, she turned back to Shinji, slightly unnerved to find him ferverantly praying to any higher beings that would listen.

"Er, Shin?" One eye opened. "What the hell are you doing?" Shinji grinned nervously and relaxed in his chair trying to avoid the question. Shamshel shook her head quickly and returned to the matter at hand. "I think you're close enough to try, yeah." She sat next to him, leaving Eve to watch the commotion and turmoil below. "Are you gonna give it a go?" Shinji nodded slightly tucking his legs under himself in his sloppy lotus position once again, resigning himself to cutting off the circulation in his lower body.

-Yeah. We don't know how long Misato's going to be and we don't know how long it'll be before we get a chance like this. Either way it can't hurt to try.- Shamshel nodded thoughtfully as Shinji closed his eyes. Suddenly his eyes opened again and he looked at her with a puzzled frown on his face.

-Wait a minute. How did you do those things back there? The horns and the way you rotated your head?- Shamshel looked at him cluelessly.

"Shin... what are you talking about?" The boy stared at her briefly before narrowing his eyes and glaring slightly. Turning away his eyes closed again. Slightly freaked out Shamshel turned her attention back to Eve. "What the hell was that about?" She mumbled.

_'I'm going insane. That must be it.'_ Shinji thought ruefully as he closed his eyes. Sighing he set himself to his task, searching for the connection to the red Evangelion. He found the connection easily, before he realised that it was the connection to Unit 01 he was feeling, strong and vibrant. _'Anywhere in the world...' _Moving away from that connection, he sought another. It should be there. After all he had once synced with Unit 02 and that would have left a connection with them both no matter how faint. He felt his eyes screw up as he concentrated, searching for any hint of a connection.

"This would be so much easier if he could touch it." Shamshel muttered as she watched him.

Forcibly relaxing himself he settled back, sinking into himself as he imagined he was within a sync plug rather than a chair. Relaxing his mind he prepared to sync, memories calling forth sights and sounds and smells of his Eva's plug, but he pushed them away focusing on another memory. He remembered when he had fought the 6th Angel with the redheaded girl, remembered his discomfort as he perched on the plug behind her and recalled the intimidating red glow of the plug as it activated. He remembered thinking that even in the LCL the plug smelled like jasmine, a scent he could only imagine came from the girls long red hair.

Thinking back now he sensed that the plug was in so many ways like the girl who sat in it. New, unknown and foreign in ways that had nothing to do with nationality. Unconsciously he mumbled her name, feeling his thoughts shift to her more than focusing on the Eva below him

"Asuka..." His memories of the girl were predominated by the more recent painful ones, interspersed with the sharp banter they had filled their early days with, the times they had both sighed and complained together about their guardians cooking skills, the times they had zoned out in front of some boring soap opera, the time they had spent together with their friends.

_'Asuka...'_

He, her, Kensuke, Touji and Hikari. A small smile tugged at his lips. Hikari and Touji would try to avoid making eye contact and Kensuke would record anything of passing interest, mostly girls. Then Asuka would notice and accuse him of being a pervert. Touji would back up his friend and the two would sling insults at each other before Hikari interrupted.

_'Asuka...'_

"Asuka?" A woman's voice called. His eyes snapped open in surprise before the world exploded in white.

Shinji found himself in a darkness, somewhat like the darkness that had greeted him in his visit to the heart of Unit 01. However whereas that darkness had welcomed him this one made it abundantly clear that he was not welcome. And unlike that first time this time he was not alone.

Shamshel and Eve stood close by, holding hands to ward off the darkness. Noticing Shinji's questioning look, Shamshel shrugged lightly.

"I remembered what happened last time you tried this." She shuddered slightly and Shinji winced when he remembered the pain she had gone through due to his absence. "I don't know if that was because you were absorbed or not but I didn't want to risk it, so I grabbed Eve and slipped back inside you." Shinji nodded, turning his attention back to the malevolent darkness around them. He noticed that they had strayed closer to him, seeking safety in numbers. He sighed morosely.

_'It's not like I could do anything to help them anyway. Even with the arm blades or whatever the hell they are, I wouldn't be able to save us if something attacked.'_

Still tense and sweating slightly Shinji moved into the darkness, picking a direction at random. As they moved they noticed that the darkness was not as formless as it appeared. It was fog that wrapped around them cooly as they moved, it's coils moving like a current. It also became quickly apparent that obsidian fog before them was not in fact black, but a dark red, like dried blood. The colour became lighter the further they moved, it's ruby embrace clinging to them and trailing in their wakes. Eve squeezed his hand and whimpered. He had not noticed her take his hand, but none the less he squeezed back, silently wishing that he could do more.

Soon the sound of sobbing was audible, echoing in the near distance, from within the crimson mist. Swallowing loudly Shinji edged forwards, scared stiff. The two girls followed him. Stepping forward and finding himself clear of the fog, Shinji saw the woman immediately. Sat in the centre of a circular clearing in the mist, she had her arms wrapped around her knees and was clutching something in both hands. Her long waist length hair trailed down her back, knotted and unkempt and the sobs wracked her tiny frame. Shinji heard Eve gasp and turned to find her hiding behind Shamshel, shaking in terror.

Sweating freely Shinji moved a step closer, trying to keep his footfalls as silent as possible. On closer inspection the woman seemed painfully thin, almost emaciated. In her clenched fingers she held a small rag doll with vibrant red hair. She held it so tightly the seams had burst a little and the stuffing was leaking out in small tufts. The woman brought her head up, startling Shinji and stared emptily at something to the near left of the boy. He relaxed when he saw that she was not looking at him. In fact she never looked at any of the three people in the clearing with her. Her eyes were red and puffy and the pale tracks streaking from her eyes showed where her tears had fallen. Shinji stood and watched as she brought the doll up to her eyes with shaking hands and stared at it a little, before folding herself around the child's toy and weeping anew.

"She can't see you. She can't see anything anymore except that doll." Shinji whipped around at the sound of the voice coming from the far side of the clearing. A young boy had emerged from the cloying smog and stood, watching the woman uncertainly. His bright red hair was shorter than Shinji's and it's ruffled and untidy nature emphasised his boyish features. When he turned his attention to the group before him Shinji saw that his eyes were a vibrant blue. His colouring was the twin of the woman's. He looked to be about Eve's age, though he was taller by a few inches. He looked nervous, regretting his choice to speak.

"W-Who are you all?" Before Shinji could speak, or even begin to imagine how to answer the question, Eve stepped out from behind Shamshel and spoke in a timid voice.

"E-Evandiel? Is that you?" The boy stiffened at her words and stepped back, half obscuring himself in the fog.

"How do you know my name? Who are you?" Eve stepped forward a little, away from the girl behind her.

"It's me. Eve." The last was almost a question, asking if he remembered her. The boy, apparently Evandiel, stopped.

"Eve?" Hesitantly, keeping his eyes on Shinji and Shamshel, making it clear that he would flee quickly if he felt threatened he edged forward towards the small girl. "Is it really you Eve?" The girl nodded.

"Uh huh. Don't you recognize my voice?" The boy twitched his head to the side, before reluctantly nodding resolutely.

"Why are you here? And who are they?" He hadn't relaxed much.

"They're my friends. That's Shinji and that's Shamshel." She indicated each in turn. "They helped me. It's ok, they're really nice people!" Shamshel grinned and scratched the back of her head at the comment, while Shinji tried not to blush at the complement. Evandiel seemed to consider this answer carefully. Finally he responded.

"If you're friends of Eve's than you're friends of mine! My name's Evandiel." He paused and shot a look at the woman, who had descended into silent sobs. "She used to call me Evan."

"Who is she?" Shamshel asked gently and stepped forward, looking at the huddled female. Evandiel's face scrunched slightly as if he were trying to remember something difficult.

"...Kyoko Zeppelin Sohryu!" He pronounced the name in a sing-song tone which made it clear that he had learnt it off by rote rather than actually understanding what the words meant. Shinji shuddered. He had heard that name from Misato once before, but even had he not only one woman trapped inside an Eva was likely to be named 'Sohryu'. Asuka's mother. He kept staring at the woman while Eve ran over to Evandiel and started talking animatedly. Shamshel came up to stand beside him.

"...Do you know her?"

"W-What?" Shinji started, surprised by her question and turned to face her.

"You look at her like you know her, that's all. Now that I think about it you couldn't really, but... well y'know." Shinji shook his head slightly and glanced at the wreak of a woman again.

"No, I never knew her. But I kinda wish I'd had the chance." he trailed off quietly. The bronze girl looked at him quizzically and he continued. "She's the mother of a... friend. I don't know much but I thought she'd died when Asuka was young."

"Asuka?"

"My friend. I-I suppose it makes sense for her to be in here if mom was trapped in Unit 01." Evandiel and Eve had both moved closer to the older pair. Shinji turned to the younger boy. "Do you know what happened to her?" His voice was steady and firm with none of the usual hesitation that marked his speech. _'Another person lost to the Eva's... how many more are there?'_

Evandiel shook his head.

"She was like this after we were hurt. Something hurt us and we saw images. They were weird... like I was remembering them. But the things in them never happened to me. After it stopped hurting she was like that. I tried talking to her but she could see me. At least that's what I think." The boy's face had turned morose and he looked small and alone, an expression Shinji easily recognised.

Shamshel crouched next to him and enveloped him in one armed hug.

"What did you see?" Evandiel turned to her, having to look up a bit seeing as even crouched she was a bit taller than he. His face scrunched up at the memories, a trait that seemed to crop up every time he thought about something.

"It was weird. It was like I was remembering her," he pointed to the weeping woman, "talking to the doll. A little girl kept trying to talk to her but she kept talking to the doll." As the boy spoke Shinji could feel a sick horror welling up inside him as his brain leapt to conclusions. "Then she was hanging from the ceiling and the little girl walked in. I didn't understand it, but K-Kyoko," he stumbled over the name and it made Shinji wonder what he had usually called her for him to have trouble with her name, "started crying. I tried to help her, t-to ask what was w-wrong, but she..." The boy stopped and angrily scrubbed at his eyes, clearly trying not to cry. Shamshel hugged him tighter silently.

_'Of course. What else would he call her... but 'mother'?'_ Shinji suddenly felt tired. He had long believed that no one who came in contact with Nerv escaped unharmed. Seeing what may have passed for proof he was right was no less sickening. _'You found your dead mother Asuka...'_ Shinji struggle to imagine the scope of the damage that alone must have done to the girl. Shaking his head he turned to Evandiel, who was staring at him, eyes dry but the watery tracks of tears showing that some had indeed been shed.

"W-What is it?" Evandiel looked at the floor and fidgeted.

"Eve... Eve says that you can take me with you... w-will you?" Shinji nearly smiled.

_'So like you Asuka, to want something but not know how to ask for it without feeling like you're being weak.'_

"If that's what you want, then yes." Evandiel's eyes lit up before he could stifle the emotion.

"Well I don't know... I mean..." Eve gasped next to him, clearly showing that she wanted him with them.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Shinji stated softly. "but I think Eve would like you to come." The boy turned to the girl who nodded hurriedly. Swallowing a little Evandiel turned back to Shinji and nodded, before being glomped by Eve and struggling to pry her off him without the aid of a crowbar. Shinji watched cracking a slight smile for their happiness, despite Evandiel's ferverant denials and loud claims that he was only coming for Eve's sake.

"You'd make a good father, you know." Shinji turned to find Shamshel next to him, speaking so lowly that the youngest two of the group could not hear her. Shinji remembered his own family history.

"No. I wouldn't." He turned away and approached Kyoko Zeppelin Sohryu, leaving a confused Shamshel behind. Approaching slowly, he knelt in front of the redheaded woman, whose gaze was still locked on the stuffed toy.

For a few seconds he remained silent, the lack of sound from behind him telling him that the others had fallen silent to watch him.

"I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm a friend of Asuka's." The woman twitched at the name. "I-I can take you to her i-if you want, but... that's all I can do." The woman looked up, and Shinji saw that her's eyes were the same colour as her daughter's. The same shade, the same hue, but lacking the vibrancy of Asuka's. The three of them, Asuka, Kyoko and Evandiel, all had the same eyes. Her voice was cracked and weary from her crying.

"You... You can take me to my daughter?" Shinji nodded silently. A watery smile skimmed across the woman's face, there so briefly that Shinji hardly believed it. "Thank you. T-Tell Evan that... I'm... sorry."

Crimson light enveloped the woman, obscuring her features and blinding Shinji, making his eyes ache even though he had closed them. The light faded and dimmed, shrinking into itself. Soon all that was left was a small orb of scarlet, like a drop of blood suspended in Shinji's outstretched hand. Closing his fingers around it, the remaining light dimmed, leaving the orb dull and lifeless. Standing, Shinji stared at it, feeling the other gathering around him.

_'This is it. A soul. The life of a human, all their hopes and dreams, trapped inside this small sphere. I **will** take you to your daughter, even if that's all I can do.'_

"What happened to her?" Shinji turned to Evandiel, who was tugging on his shirt.

"She's coming with us. She asked me to take her to her daughter, so that's what I'll do." Evandiel looked at the tiny sphere.

"That's her, right?" Shinji nodded.

"Yeah. That's her." He paused. "She wanted me to tell you something." The boy looked up suddenly, face avid with interest.

"What did she say?" Shinji paused.

"She said... 'Tell Evan I love him'." The boy looked away, but not far enough that Shinji couldn't see his tears.

_'Even if that's not what she said... I think it's what she meant.'_ Everyone moved closer to him, Shamshel placing her hand gently on Evandiel's shoulder and Shinji slipping the orb into his pocket. The last few seconds before he withdrew from the Eva were filled with Shamshel's whispered voice.

"I was wrong. You'd make a _great_ father."

* * *

Shinji blinked trying to get his eyes accustomed to the sudden return to light. The long grey barrel of the automatic rifle aimed at his head quickly came into focus. Shinji recoiled back in shock prompting the kevlar armoured man to step forward slightly, keeping his weapon at the same distance from the boy at all times. Glancing around hurriedly showed a ring of armed men around him, each one training a weapon on his head. Shinji swallowed, his breathing become shallow.

"Twice an Evangelion has become active within your presence, pilot. Twice it's AT field has activated and twice it has deactivated without _major_ incident." Shinji's eyes twitched past the first balaclava clad man to the viewing window, where great rents had been torn in the plexi-glass. It seemed the Eva had done _some_ damage then. "What explanation do you have to offer, pilot?"

Shinji swallowed again.

* * *

_Well that's the next chapter. God this is turning out to be longer than I had thought. I tried to introduce a bit more humour into this one. Not sure if it worked or not, but I can't keep it permanently serious, it's just not my style. Besides the anime had funny bit's early in too. And that's my iron clad justification. Anyway please review, and i hope you enjoyed. More next time. Don't worry people. The action hot's up in a chapter or two._


	5. Helena

_Sorry for any delays in the updates boys and girls, but I'm moving house at the moment and the webternet connection is taking longer than I would like to set up. Bastards. Anyway, it's time for the first of the those camo's I promised my fine readers and reviewers. Since most of the requests were fairly outlandish they'll be easy to spot, but with a bit of luck - and very little skill on my part - they will fit nicely into the continuity of the story. Such as it is. Thank you to all that took the time to leave reviews. It's always nice to know that my writing style of appealing to the lowest common denominator is still working. GO ME!_

_Me no own, you no sue. I ain't drinkin' no milk. Foo._

**XVII: Helena**

The blonde woman stood under the porch of her apartment building shielding her light blue eyes from the bright glare of the sun, unable to keep her smile to herself. Her soft gaze trailed away from the cloudless sky and to the road before her and it's busy sidewalks cramped with all the people who walked them. Thanks to Second Impact the times when New York city received pleasant weather was few and far between. Stuck on the edge of a perpetual autumn/winter divide, most of the year it was cool and overcast, garnering little sunshine and less heat.

'Someone, somewhere has a perpetual spring or summer... They probably don't know how lucky they are.' She mused to herself absently stepping out from under the canvas awning and into the uncommonly warm sun. In a city that had become used to wearing what had been considered winter clothing two decades ago habitually this pleasant weather was an unusual but welcome gift. As the woman reached the end of her little path away from her apartment a group of children aged from around seven to the early teens ran past, nearly jostling her but dancing around at the last minute, laughing. An elder girl, perhaps seventeen dressed in a pair of faded denim jeans and a loose top ran after them a couple of seconds later calling out to the startled woman as she passed.

"Sorry Helena! Are you coming by the shelter later?" The girl paused in her run and turned back to look at Helena. The blonde's look of surprise melted into laughter and she giggled at the younger woman's harassed appearance.

"I'll be there in a while Sarah!" The young girl grinned, her long brown hair blown around her face by the warm breeze and obscuring her thin framed oval glasses. Helena watched a small girl dressed in a slightly ragged flowery sundress appear behind the teen and poke her in the back, startling her.

"Ahh!" The girl covered her mouth with her hand and giggled quietly when Sarah spun to mock glare at her. "Katie! Don't scare me like that!" Helena smiled widely. Crouching in front of the girl Sarah smoothed her hair and grinned as the small child laughed. Quickly poking the girl on the nose Sarah continued. "Promise not to do it again?" Helena laughed as the child shook her head negatively with glee. Sarah slumped, before turning towards the elder woman and shooting her a weak glare. "Easy for you to laugh! The kids all like you!" Helena nearly doubled over. Turning back to Katie the brunette teenager spoke to her again. "Katie where have the others gotten to?" The little girl looked up at her with huge glistening eyes making the elder girl clasp her hands under her chin and squeal. "Auuu! So kawaii!" Helena blinked.

"Kawaii?" Sarah turned back to the woman and nodded, oversized hearts having taken the place of her eyes behind the thin frames of her glasses, making Helena sweatdrop slightly, while Katie continued to beam happily in the background.

"Yeah. It's something Shoji taught me. It means 'cute' in Japanese." Helena nodded.

"I know. I spent some time in Japan a couple of years back and picked up the language pretty quickly. I just didn't expect to hear it here though." Sarah smirked slightly.

"Is there anywhere you haven't been?" Helena smiled quietly, thinking to herself that it was probably Japan that had an eternal summer if the heat when she had visited had been any indication before answering the girl.

"A few places." Sarah laughed and turned back to the small raven haired girl. "So where are the others Katie?" The little girls face scrunched up a little as if she was concentrating hugely on remembering the location of the others.

"They said they were going... to play with James at the Market!"

"They WHAT!" All hearts ands swirly eyes were gone now, replaced with horror and panic. Scooping a giggling Katie under an arm, Sarah spun and sprinted down the road towards the impromptu Market that had sprung up in the cleared square. "I'm gonna kill them! See you later Helena!" The blonde laughed again and waved an arm after them until they disappeared in the crowd of people at the end of the road.

'Wonder which of his gods James annoyed to deserve that.' Helena smiled and tucked an errant whisp of golden hair that had escaped from the hair clasp around her ear. She couldn't help but grin at the memory of Sarah with hearts in her eyes. She would make a great mother. She had the nature for it. 'It's too bad...' Shaking her head Helena followed the two girls down the street at a more sedate pace.

After the Second Impact New York had been devastated by the resultant tidal waves and tectonic upheavals. Nearly twenty years later and it had been largely rebuilt. The immediate aftermath had seen a city of scavengers and an army of homeless among the rubble of the dead city. After a week or two a military deployment had moved into the city and enforced martial law on the remaining citizens. The troops had been under the command of a Lieutenant Halloway, and had not been under orders from the government. It had seemed that Halloway, understanding what the situation was likely to be like in the city had ordered the troops under his command as the highest ranked surviving officer to deploy into the city to keep an authoritarian presence. The city had remained under martial law for an additional month before the American government had sufficient control of it's assets to relieve the occupying troops and provide extra aid for the survivors, who had been living off surplus army rations and whatever the organised teams had been able to scavenge from the shell of the city.

Huge residential areas of cheap but sturdy housing and apartment blocks had been built to give homes to the survivors, as well as the influx of new residents and the infrastructure had been quickly reestablished by the inland States and their businesses and cartels. The area she lived in now was one of the older residential blocks and was therefore in worse condition than some. But it was still livable and the people that lived in it took care of their homes, repairing any damage themselves rather than neglecting it and not having enough to pay for it to be fixed.

The Statue of Liberty had not survived and in it's stead a pillar had been erected to commemorate the loss of what had been iconically - if not particularly originally - named 'Old New York' by the next generation and the thousands of people that had perished within. As a result of the devastation, as well as the inconvenience of having the buildings and amenities destroyed the average age of the New York citizenship (they had elected not to be renamed New York 2, like so many other rebuilt cities had decided to do across the world) was twenty-six.

With most of the original population dead there had been an influx of young people to take jobs in the now newly blooming industrial centre. The ethereal promise of jobs had brought many of the new residents most of them searching for unskilled work and manual labour, all of which was plentiful.

Helena slipped around a couple, smiling apologetically and made her way deeper into the throng of people moving towards the Market. Helena had learned of the Market soon after she had moved into her apartment. A collapsed skyscraper at the end of the street had been cleared leaving a sizable square, empty of buildings. Soon someone had set up a small stall at the edge, selling hot food and the like, while the children used it as a play area. The one stall became two, then five, then ten. Now dozens of stalls criss-crossed the square, leaving an area for the children to play in with climbing equipment and grass verges replacing the concrete that had been there before hand. Most of the stalls had been made semi-permanent rather than the original huts of flimsy wood that could be taken down overnight and a few small cafes had become permanent fixtures.

Stepping into the Market Helena looked around for anyone she recognised. The Market was in use on the Wednesdays and Saturdays of each week and was mostly run by small family business. Helena knew these Markets had sprung up in almost every district, but rarely had an occasion to visit any of the others. Walking down the main boulevard at the centre of the Market, the blonde woman greeted those she recognised, which amounted to pretty much everyone since she had wandered into most of the stores at one time or another in the year and a bit she had lived in the area. Calling out a greeting to Masterson the butcher, a man in a spotless white smoke and butchers hat tipped at a jaunty angle, who took time out from arguing animatedly with Wade to return the call with a wide grin before turning back to the slender young man before him and continuing their argument. Helena smiled. Those two had been arguing as long as she had known any of them. They argued about the economy, politics, religion - though that one was like having a boxing match in the dark for the two of them since neither knew much about the subject - and anything else they could think off. And then every Saturday night after the Market closed they played chess and downed bottles of beer in the back of the stall until their wives came and dragged them home until the next weekend. Soon they were out of sight in the crowd.

A couple of children, better dressed than the ones she had nearly been run over by earlier, were threading their way in and out of the people trying to avoid getting underfoot and pulling little multicolored balloons behind them. They'd probably come from James' store since that was the kind of thing he sold. The thought of the children 'helping' James run his stall made her smile. Perhaps she should hurry there before someone got maimed...

'Nah. It'll probably just be James.' A roughish smile rippled across her lips as she continued forward. After a few more feet she paused for a moment and stretched up onto her tip-toes, trying to see over the heads of the crowd. James' stall was towards the far end of the Market from her street and she was having trouble seeing it in the throng of people. Her gaze travelled upwards over the heads of the surrounding people to the silhouettes of the skyscrapers that had been erected after the devastation of the Second Impact. How quickly New York had recovered. Two thirds of the Earth's population had died and countless billions of dollars of destruction had been done yet in just fifteen years the city thrived as much as it had before, as if nothing had happened. Helena turned her attention back to her destination, having to squint in the sunlight.

'First time in a long while that I've missed having sunglasses.' Giving up on seeing the stall from this far away Helena began moving forward again, trying to weave and wind her way through the mass without getting squashed in the process. A sudden flare of noise from her right stole her attention suddenly and she whipped her head to the side to follow the sound, leaving her blond hair to trail behind her like a fan. Someone had set up a TV next top one of the newer stalls - so new in fact that Helena had no idea who ran it, which was saying something seeing as she came to the market every week.

The large screen was showing a recorded rock concert and pounding out rythmic beat with so much bass the blonde was pretty sure she was vibrating like a tuning fork. As she watched, with her attention still caught by the sounds, the picture switched to that of who she assumed was the performing bands lead member being interviewed by a thin, mousey man in an ill-fitting obsidian wig. A caption scrolled across the bottom of the screen identifying the singer as twenty-eight year old Shinzo Saiyuki. Helena blinked. Unusual name for a singer in an American band. She had heard enough of the J-pop and J-rock they had in Japan during her stay there to have recognised the fact that, that was most certainly not what they were playing. The guy might have been originally oriental but it was hard to tell under all the make-up. If that was the case then he was very fond of the tanning machines because his skin was a golden bronze, while his jet black hair was waist length and tied in a tight braid.

_'Gotta be hair extensions.'_ She thought. _'No guy would go through all that trouble if he didn't have to.'_ The figure turned to face the camera full on and Helena blinked. One iris was the lush green of the forest and the other a vibrant purple. _'Contacts as well.'_ Helena shook her head and abandoned her post in front of the screen to continue her journey. _'Musicians are getting weirder and weirder these days...'_ The crowd had tapered out a little and allowed her to get to the stall she sought faster than she expected. Yells and screams got louder the closer she got, which was no real surprise since she pretty much new what to expect.

Emerging from the crowd into a small clearing formed by passers by stopping and observing the ensuing insanity, Helena watched the thin bespectacled proprietor of the stall chasing one of the kids that had danced around her earlier in a circle while the rest cheered their friend on. There was no sign of Sarah or Katie yet. It seems that they had gotten lost in the crowd somewhere. Finally the owner succeeded in shooing away the young boy and leant over onto his knees to catch his breath. Looking up at the crowd he spotted Helena and gave a half hearted wave, too exhausted to do any more.

"Hey Helena. What's up?" The blonde woman smiled and waved back as she approached. James didn't speak much about his past even to those who knew him well, but his accent was curiously inflicted British with an overtone of American. It was widely accepted that he was British born and head moved to the US after the Second Impact, though when presented with this theory James always smiled or laughed. He never really confirmed or denied anything and it had eventually reached the point were people had given up asking, except in jest. It didn't really matter, after all. Hundreds of people had used the 'opportunity' provided by the chaos surrounding the Second Impact to disappear and create new lives for themselves. Records had been lost and destroyed over two thirds of the world so it wasn't hard to achieve hundreds of people had chosen to abandon their old lives in favor of the anonymity provided by new guises and identities. Perhaps James was one of these. Whatever reason he had for concealing his past, be it as drastic as being a fugitive or as basic as bad memories Helena had given up prying.

James brushed down the dusty overall he was wearing as she approached, coughing slightly at the cloud of tan dust that rose as he patted himself down.

"I hope the kids haven't been giving you too much trouble, J." The man looked up, giving her a flat glare at her blatant insincerity, his spectacles catching the sunlight leaving the harsh light to glint off the metal frames and the thin convex lenses. Her impish smile didn't fade under his scrutiny, however. Eventually he grunted and his frown morphed into a smile. That was one of the things people loved about James, or J as most people called him, never held grudges. Most of the time it seemed that he never even lost his temper, even with the kids who plagued him constantly. Waving a hand to beckon her over to his stall he turned and staggered back to it tiredly, after making sure she was following. Ducking under the small canopy that was supported by the thin cane poles set into the ground, J pulled a pot of brewing coffee off the small heater he had set up and poured himself a cup of the dark liquid. Helena rolled her eyes.

"How can you drink that stuff in this weather?" The scent of the strong, black coffee reached her sensitive nostrils making them twitch in distaste. "How can you drink that stuff at all?" The elder man laughed and ran the calloused fingers of one hand through his dark hair, now tinged with strands of silver grey, while the other brought the polystyrene cup to his lips.

"I've drunk so much of this stuff in my life it's pretty much replaced my blood. I need to be topped up regularly or I grind to a halt." After taking a swallow of the drink he placed the cup on the counter top and leant down next to it staring out into the crowd. Helena stepped up next to him, glad to be in the shade for a while. The trip from her apartment had only been a short one but she was feeling uncomfortable in the light already. Absently she looked around the little stall, taking in the brik-a-brak that cluttered it, either for sale or belonging to James himself. For the most part the only times people ever saw J was at the Market on Wednesdays. During the week no one saw him. Helena wasn't even sure anyone knew where he lived. Most assumed that he worked the other days of the week. But Helena had seen him wondering through the city streets, window shopping and just seemingly occupying time at various times during the week. If pressed she would have said that he didn't work, but if that was the case then there was no way he could afford to keep living.

He had showed her the banking on the stall once, to show her how the stock keeping system worked because she was curious and she knew for a fact the stall only just broke even. There was no way it alone could support him. Which meant that if he didn't work it was because he didn't actually need a job. The only reason she knew any of this was because the times of day she had seen him made it unlikely he was in work, like herself. She had been curious but had never approached him. Considering how reluctant he was to talk about his past she didn't want to look like she was intruding.

"You seen Sarah today?" James' gravely voice brought her out of her introspection swiftly. Leaning down next to him she recanted what had happened a few minutes earlier, leaving him chuckling quietly. "That a fact? Had Shoji in here a while back, looking to see if she was about." The man grinned as he spoke and Helena couldn't help but smile. It was obvious to both of them that Shoji was head over heels for Sarah and it was not much of a secret that she felt the same - though she would hotly deny it, and blush fiercely whenever it was brought up. If there was anyone more devoted to Sarah than the Japanese boy Helena had yet to meet them. She was glad the girl was happy, if only for now.

The conversation lapsed into a comfortable silence. Every Wednesday Helena came down to the market to keep J company. It had started out as mostly out of boredom, but soon she realised that she truly enjoyed the elder man's quiet company and wry sense of humour. It had become a little tradition that they both honoured, health permitting. Helena shot a glance at the man out of the corner of her eyes. She was probably the only one who knew about J's illness. Not because he had purposefully confided in her, but because she had wondered in one day unnoticed and caught him coughing blood into a handkerchief. Whatever he had - he claimed the name of it was stupidly long and dying people didn't have enough time to be learning long things - it was eating at him without visible side effects. Except the coughing fits. He had told her after she found him that the reason he hadn't told anyone was because he didn't want any sympathy or pity from anyone. He'd had a relative who was in his position once. Everyone knew about the illness and everyone pitied the man. The remainder of his life had been overshadowed by his approaching death. That was not something he wanted. He was happy seeing the smiling faces of the children and his friends. He had laughed and said he was even happy seeing Sarah's enraged face when she was angry with Shoji and his terrified one as he tried to escape her grasp. That was something precious to him - their smiling faces, not seeing Shoji getting maimed - and it wasn't something he wanted to give up just yet.

She had promised to remain silent about the information. She had not looked at him with pity, and only she alone knew why. She liked J. The world would be a better place with more people like him. She had watched him playing with the children and laughing with them, and guessed that his one true regret in life was not having children of his own. He would have made a good father. Probably would have spoilt his kids rotten. She watched as he absently unscrewed the cap of a small plastic container and tipped a single yellow pill capsule into his upturned palm. Waving his free hand at a passer by he seemed to recognize he casually slipped the tiny pill into his mouth and bit down. He told anyone who asked that they were vitamin tablets.

She looked away. He wouldn't like her watching.

"Yowza." Of course all people have their bad habits. And J's had just walked past. A young woman, just above twenty had walked past. Her short skirt was riding up and she got appreciative glances from more than one man as she passed. J's vice was that he was a pervert. Nothing overt - he didn't howl or whistle as they passed. In fact the most he ever did was stare at a woman walking past or serve the pretty girls at his stall with a little more enthusiasm than anyone else who bought from him received. Helena sighed good naturedly and let slip a small smile. Everyone has a vice and J's was pretty tame as far as they went. As long as Sarah didn't catch him doing it all would be fine.

The blonde had often wondered why he had never looked at her in such a manner. She wasn't arrogant enough to think herself the ideal woman, but she knew she was attractive. But he had never looked at her that way, not even the first time they had met. She had never asked and he had never volunteered the information so they left it at that.

"Hey Shoji. Back again?" The oriental boy slumped into the stalls shaded area and collapsed on the countertop on the far side of J from Helena. J laughed as Shoji , groaned into his arms, placed strategically under his face for cushioning. "You could at least say hi to Helena." One of Shoji's hands lifted into the air and waved from side to side lazily. His other arm left his mumbled hello a muffled grunt. She couldn't help but laugh. J was grinning.

"My dad's trying to kill me!" J burst out laughing and nearly fell over. Shoji's father was a man notorious for his sense of hard work and honour. Anyone who dealt with him knew he would keep his word once it was given. His son however had a tendency to receive the brunt of his tenacity, whether he wanted any part in it or not.

"What's he got you doing this time?" Shoji slithered off the counter to lie nearly comatose in the floor, groaning as he did. Helena and J leaned forward over the counter to look at the boy on the floor, sighing at his theatrics. At least they hoped they were theatrics. His thin whine traveled up from below as he explained his plight.

"Dad's sponsoring the Youth Centre- "

"But that's great! We need the money!" Helena interrupted, pleased at the news. Shoji's eyebrow began to twitch.

"If I might finish..." Helena blushed lightly in embarrassment. "...Thank you. He's sponsoring the Youth Centre, which is indeed good," He said glaring up at the blonde tiredly and making her roll her eyes. "but what is less than fabulous is that he's roped me into it."

"How?" J hunkered down and began to pat the boy on the head condescendingly. "I'm sure it will all be ok, sonny. There, there." Shoji grunted.

"Your concern for my well being is appreciated. Anyway he heard that we needed a new kitchen and-"

"He's buying us a kitchen!" Helena flipped over the counter and knelt in front of the exhausted boy, grabbing the front of his shirt. "Why didn't you say he was buying us a kitchen? How could you not tell me he was buying us a kitchen? KITCHEN!" She had begun shaking him with each word so that now his face was simply a slightly green tinted blur. J spoke up gently.

"Um, perhaps you should stop shaking him...?" Helena looked closely at the young man and hurriedly released him. After a few seconds Shoji stopped moving, having gotten used to being shaken and thus carried on without outside intervention for a while. After the swirling in his eyes had disappeared he focused a slightly queasy glare on the embarrassed woman.

"...I really don't like you sometimes..." He sighed and dragged himself to his feet leaning on the wall and continued. "YES, he's buying us a kitchen, but guess who gets to help install it?" J made a show of serious thought and sipped his coffee while Helena grinned at Shoji's misfortune.

"Benjamin Franklin!" All eyes went to J who was holding his coffee aloft in one hand like the Olympic torch and beaming manically.

"...What?"

"You said to guess who got to help install it and I decided to go for someone no one else was likely to think off. It's always the last person you expect." He nodded sagely and slurped his steaming drink again.

"That might be because he's over two hundred years dead." Shoji said without much emotion in his voice, except perhaps dazed confusion and a raised eyebrow beneath his spiked dark hair. J raised a finger while he drank to indicate he had a line of reasoning to follow his ridiculous statement.

"Granted but - " The sound of Shoji's face thudding into the wood repeatedly derailed J's train of thought. Helena winced at the sight. After a bit the young man stopped and looked up. Helena nearly burst into giggles at the sight. The repeated contact with the tabletop had pushed the boys gelled spikes into a vertical wall of hair starting at his fringe and continuing upwards. He looked like he had a cliff of hair affixed to his head. J was loosing a battle with the grin that seamed intent on annexing his face.

"_The point is_ that I have to single handedly install the kitchen myself." Helena frowning, puzzled.

"I thought you said you just had to help?" Shoji snorted, though a small smile had worked it's way onto his face, despite his disparaging countenance.

"Yeah it'll be just me and dad. And dad's idea of help is sitting on the stool behind me and handing me the instructions. 'It'll be a bonding thing, son'. The only bonding that will happen is if his ass fuses to the seat." J burst out laughing and Helena giggled quietly. Despite his words Shoji cared for his father and family as a whole deeply. Though his less than flattering opinion on how much help he was going to get on the kitchen renovation was probably correct. "So there goes my weekend." J grunted around his coffee cup.

"Stop complaining. It won't take all weekend." Shoji shook his head despondently.

"I've done this kind of thing before, so trust me it will take the weekend. The first day is spent putting it together and the second is spent trying to figure out what you did wrong, taking it apart again and putting it back together again."

"Ah, well. Tell you what, why don't you join me for a spot of 'ornithology' while you're here? The pickin's seem to be good today." Shoji perked up noticeably at the offer.

"Really? Don't mind if I do then." Both he and J began rubbing their palms together and giggling maniacally while Helena sighed at the display. They were _both_ perverts.

"You know, if Sarah catches you at that then you're going to regret it. You especially Shoji." The two waved her off and continued to stare out the front of the stall waiting for a pretty woman to cross their gazes.

"She can't be everywhere at once. I think we're safe for now." J observed judiciously, but his eyes slipped form side to side as if he was trying to pick the girl out of the crowd, prey trying to spot a lurking predator. Helena shook her head and leaned next to the two men, though not for the same reasons as they obviously. She had asked them soon after she had first met them both how they could justify degrading women to mere objects to be ogled. J had asked her if she admired flowers if they were pretty or dresses because they were pretty. When she had answered yes without thinking, he had asked her how it was better to prefer one flower over another because it was prettier of one dress over another because of style rather than function or comfort.

She hadn't been entirely comfortable with the argument and pointed out that people are not flowers or dresses. J had become serious and mumbled under his breath that he wasn't sure setting humans above things like flowers was the best idea. She wasn't sure she had been meant to hear, but a few seconds later he had grinned and winked at her and said that appreciating the female form was his duty and since none of the woman took offence and it didn't hurt them in any way what did it really matter? She pointed out that they didn't mind because they didn't know and he had said exactly and taken a gulp of coffee. She considered it poetic justice that the coffee burnt him.

She heard the two of them begin to giggle and laugh under their breath as they waited for a suitable 'specimen' to pass by. Helena contemplated drowning herself in the coffee machine but decided against it. After all Sarah should arrive in about eight, seven, six...

"Wow, there's one now! Hohohohohohoho..."

"Oh baby! Hehehehehehe..."

'_Bad timing guys... five, four...'_

"Now that is beauty!"

"You said it man!" The two perverted men high fived each other in glee and continued their little 'hobby'.

_'Three, two...and go.'_ A shadow suddenly appeared over the two men as a form blocked the light of the weak bulb behind them. Their insane giggling quickly faded as the hairs on the backs of their necks gently rose, trying disparately to tell them that something bad was about to happen. Very, very soon. From Helena's position she could see the sweat begin to roll down the faces of the two men, mingling with the silent waterfalls of tears they had both suddenly sprung. The shadow loomed further over them as their doom approached.

"J? We're gonna die aren't we?"

"Yes, Shoji. Yes we are. The Horsemen are riding." J seemed oddly calm in the face of death.

"I don't wanna die like this! I'm too young!" Shoji's waterfall of tears doubled in volume. J placed his hand on Shoji's shoulder and only continued once he was certain he had the terrified youth's attention. His free hand formed a fist and he struck a pose.

"We will die like men Shoji." This didn't seem to console Shoji any for some odd reason. The young man was slowly trying to edge his way to freedom without being too blatant about it. The fact that this meant scrambling over the counter didn't seem to deter him in any way. A delicate arm snapped out to grip the back of his shirt before he got far. Helena thought she heard a whimper. J hadn't moved from his pose though he too, had begun to cry more. The arm began to slowly retract dragging the hapless male back over the counter, erasing all the ground he had gained in his attempt to escape. Shoji's fingernails left claw marks in the wood of the countertop as he tried to hold on desperately.

"Was there something you were saying, Shoji?" Sarah's voice was soft velvet. If soft velvet sounded like a swiftly approaching violent death anyway.

"No dearest, o-of course not. Why would I be saying anything? Anything at all? You know me I hardly ever talk, guess I'm just the silent type that way, right?" Shoji began babbling in self defense. J coughed into his hand and muttered 'whipped' under his breath at the same time, confirming Helena's suspicion that he did, in fact, have a death wish. The sound of a vein popping out on the brunettes forehead was loud and clear in the stillness of the stall. There was a blur and suddenly J was face down on the floor nursing a bump on his head. Shoji's whimpering became louder. "A-As I was saying.. erm... I wasn't talking all, was I Helena?" The blonde opened her mouth to speak but was railroaded before her lips could form the words. "No? See Helena agrees with me. Never said a word. Have I told you how beautiful you look today? I'm sorry for everything I've ever done, please don't kill me." Shoji gradually ran out of ammunition for his spray and pray apology and resorted to praying to Buddha for a pleasant reincarnation in the next life, preferably as something or someone that demented women would never take an interest in. He cracked an eye open and found himself looking into his semi-girlfriend's softly smiling face.

"I know you'd never say anything or do anything that you know I would totally disagree with Shoji. Like preying on the innocent women that happen to cross your path and treating them as objects." Almost absent mindedly she kicked J, who was still on the floor figuring that playing dead was his beast option, and garnered a muffled grunt of pain out of him. "So how about we go and get something to eat then? Just the two of us?" Hesitantly Shoji stood up straight and smiled weakly.

"Sure. I-I'd like that. It'll be fun!" Sarah nodded her head as if she were passing judgement.

"And then we can go shopping for a bit." Shoji's smile, which wasn't exactly lively to begin with, abruptly slipped off of his face like a turtle on a glacier.

"Erm. Yes, I suppose that is an option we could explore..."

"Perfect!" Sarah beamed. "And I'm sure we can find you something to buy me to apologize for all the things that never happened." Shoji slumped forward in pained aquiesance. Grinning the girl almost skipped out of the stall, waving a casual good bye to Helena as she left. The downcast man dragged himself after her, mumbling about his wallet getting thinner. Helena watched them go with tired amusement at their antics as J picked himself off the floor, still gingerly fingering the lump he had on his head.

"They're cute together, don't you think?" Helena smiled and nodded absently. "Damn that girl has a hell of a punch on her though." Helena couldn't help but laugh.

Helena had spent most of the day with J at the stall watching the children play and talking with Sarah and Shoji when they returned from their impromptu shopping trip, discussing how the new kitchen would be set out in the Youth Centre. After a while both the youths had drifted off, ostensibly to head their separate ways, but more than likely to spend some time together privately. She had remained behind and had volunteered to help J take down his stall. The man had grinned and thanked her for her offer but said that it wouldn't take him long and that she might as well head home. She had smiled and left him to his work. Now she was walking under the amber street lights on her way home. She had left J to himself about a hour earlier and wandered down to the local supermarket for her weekly shopping. As it was the bags were weighing her down some and made it difficult to walk. The heavy bags kept bumping into her legs, making walking naturally rather difficult. As she paused briefly to readjust her grip on one of the bags so that it wasn't digging into her hand quite as much, another hand slipped into the plastic loop and lifted it away from her grasp. Turning in surprise she saw him standing next to her holding half her shopping. Her face heated.

"You seemed to be having trouble." She nodded her thanks and continued her walk home in silence. Occasionally she would sneak glances at him out of the corner of her eye. He stood taller than she did, though not by much. His hair was dark and medium length hanging low on his neck, with the individual bangs falling over his eyes. The trench coat he wore was non-descript and his jeans blended in with the low lighting. The coat was unbuttoned revealing a casual shirt underneath. He never looked at her, though the profile of his face was harsh and weather worn. His voice was deep and rough.

They arrived at her apartment and he took the remainder of her bags from her as she fumbled with the lock in the dark. Once the door was open he handed her the bags and nodded to her.

"Good night." She nodded in return unable to meet his eyes, before he turned and left. She closed the door and retrieved her shopping off the floor of her small hallway. Quickly moving it out of her way she locked the door and fastened the chain. Then she proceeded to flick the five bolts on her door into place. Only then did she allow herself to breath. Squeezing her eyes shut she turned and grabbed the white plastic bags preparing to haul them into the kitchen. After that she could take a shower. And perhaps this time she could clean the stench off.

* * *

_This was a chapter I really didn't want to write. It's necessary for the later plot, but as you can see it leaves the current plot arc completely, one which I was quite getting into. Also this chapter afflicted me quite severely with writers block, because nothing actually happens barring the introduction of new characters, which is why it's a bit shorter than the norm. That and the fact that I managed to pick up another Eva fic and two parter Final Fantasy VII fic and a bunch of Naruto one shots explains why this chap took much longer than I thought it would to churn out. Anyway next chap will take us back to Shinji and his problems with Nerv. Look forward to it!_

_Ja ne!_


	6. Mistaken Identity

_Another chapter, this one hopefully written in less time than the last. I know a few felt short-changed by the last chapter seeing as it left our hero in an unfortunate position and then skipped to somewhere completely different for something seemingly pointless. I'd be pissed off as hell too if that happened to a story I was reading. But here comes more XVII goodness so no worries , eh? And no need for death threats huh?...Please don't hurt me._

**XVII: Mistaken Identity**

Shinji frowned. The wall facing him made no expression in return. He turned his head to the left slightly, trying his luck with the other wall but received pretty much the same result. The boy sighed and wished he had a watch to check. Not that the time made much of a difference of course but it would still be nice to know exactly how long he had been in the small, dank, plain grey cell. The only thing that broke the monotony was the etching of the NERV symbol over the fold down bunk on the other side of the room. Shinji was fairly sure it was his father's sense of humor to have the NERV logo - "God is in his heaven, all's right with the world" - displayed inside a holding cell. After all if you were in a position to see the logo like Shinji was then all was manifestly not right with the world. Not from Shinji's view anyway. Shamshel and the others had disappeared a while ago, at the eldest girl's suggestion that they go listen to the people outside and try to find out anything useful about his situation. Obviously they hadn't had much luck thus far. The young man leaned back against the cool wall of the small room he was being held in and twitched his eyes toward the door. Grey steel and apparently bolted from the outside it was doing an excellent job of keeping him exactly where he was.

"Just like the time with the forth Angel... with Shamshel...ha." He breathed, mildly amused at the symmetry of his life. Eyes tracing the outline of the giant leaf motif on the wall, he mused on what brought him here. After his father's acerbic question, one he was unable to answer, the armed guards had 'escorted' him to the cell. For some reason they obviously thought him dangerous, having six or seven men in heavy duty riot gear permanently surrounding his head with the barrels of their semi-automatic weaponry in a ring. Another set had stood outside the first ring keeping their weaponry trained on him in turn. His increasingly frantic cries for an explanation or some answers were ignored. Even Shamshel had seemed scared and there was nothing they could realistically do to her, even if they found out about her or the others. After unceremoniously throwing him into the room he sat in now he had received no word and no one had come to visit him. He wondered if they would bother to feed him when the time came. His head slumped onto his chest.

_'What's going on? They can't know about Shamshel and the others so why...?'_ Shinji sighed and looked back to the door, just in time to see Evandiel step through it. The elder boy swallowed convulsively. Seeing them walk through things and people just wasn't something he could become used to. The red headed Angelic presence stepped into the room and sat next to Shinji, his light blue eyes annoyed.

"Grrr. I couldn't find out anything. I can't go far enough away from you to be able to find anyone who knows what's going on." He crossed his arms and growled in irritation. "I hope the others do better than I managed." Shinji laughed lightly. In a way the boy was so like Asuka, but at the same time very different. If it had been her in Evandiel's position - Asuka in his head, the thought of it alone made him shudder - then she would have blamed Shinji for her being stuck in his body, rather than just being annoyed at the situation they found themselves in. Hell, she probably would have called him a pervert to, for some reason or another. He smiled slightly; even saying that though, he kind of missed her. The apartment he shared with Misato was almost too quiet without the boisterous German around. His smile widened slightly, remembering something Kensuke had mentioned when he had defended Asuka, after they had mumbled that the girl was the devil.

_"HA! You're defending her? Must be Stockholm Syndrome."_ The spectacled boy had said. Though Shinji had been disgruntled to hear that said, it had raised his lips in a smile whenever he thought about it afterwards. He awoke from his light daze, prompted by Evandiel's light poke to the cheek with an errant finger.

"What's up with you? You looked like you were spacing?" Shinji blushed lightly, before laughing again.

"It's nothing... You just remind me a lot of someone I know." The boy cocked his head to the side as Shinji continued. "But you're like her in a better way, y'know? Like a diet version of Asuka..."

"Asuka? You mean-" The young boy halted abruptly, his face suddenly downcast. Remembering what had happened only a few hours ago, Shinji regretted bringing Asuka into the conversation.

"Yeah, her daughter." Evandiel didn't respond. Shinji continued. "I...I guess that kind of makes you her brother, right?" Evandiel looked up, trying to hide the tears that were beginning to form in his eyes.

"You think so?" Shinji nodded, trying to smile reassuringly. Before he could speak again, both of his female ethereal tenants stepped through the door together, drawing the males attention. Evandiel quickly turned away and brought an arm across his eyes quickly. Eve blinked and rushed forward, asking if something was wrong. Evandiel's reply that his eyes were stinging a little was drowned out by Shamshel's sigh as she collapsed next to Shinji. She pulled her bronze legs under her and slumped onto the palm of her hand, supporting herself on her knee.

"You didn't find out anything then?" Shinji asked, feeling a little disappointed. He had been slightly skeptical when it was first suggested, after all it wasn't like someone was going to wander past outside and explain Gendo Ikari's reasoning for imprisoning his own son at gunpoint. But he knew it couldn't do any harm and figured he might as well let them try. She shook her head, leaving her golden tresses wafting softly in her wake.

"Oh, no I found out what's going on, some of it anyway. It's just that as far as I can tell none of it is good." She sighed and drooped like a parched flower. Shinji began to feel nervous. Shamshel turned to look at him. "They think you're an Angel." She said plainly. Shinji twitched. "Well to be more accurate that's what the techs' outside think you're being held for. Not sure if it's true or not but that's the rumor flying around."

"What? Why!" His outburst had garnered the attention of the two younger Angelics, to the relief of Evandiel who was being fussed over by Eve. The dusky skinned girl shrugged apologetically and avoided his gaze.

"One of the people I was listening to said the only other person that could sync with an Eva from outside the plug was...the seventeenth. So they think you're one too." Shinji's face fell at the mention of Kaworu. Absently he wiped his palm on the legs of his pants, subconsciously still remembering the feel of his friend's blood staining his hand.

"Oh. Right." He stared at his hand, eyes glazing over as he remembered the man he had called a friend. The three Angelic presences looked at each other in question, puzzled by his reaction.

"It's not that bad, Shin! So they think you're an Angel! It could be worse." Shinji shook his head, debating whether or not it was worth telling them that wasn't really what was concerning him. He decided against it. There wasn't much point after all. Instead he decided to be thankful for the fact that his new friends had jumped to the wrong conclusion, understandable though that was. Forcing a grin onto his face he lifted his head and faced them, noticing how anxious they all seemed.

"It's ok. I'm fine. But what do we do now? How can I convince them that I'm not an Angel?" He asked, ploughing through the questions they were about to ask. They paused, considering. Evandiel spoke up eventually, frowning slightly.

"Well that's gonna be difficult, especially since you kinda are one anyway." Shinji blinked at the boy's words before they began to sink in. Shamshel was nodding.

"He's right, Shin. With our Nihro'du inside you, you are pretty much an Angel. Or a human with the powers of an Angel, which is mostly the same anyway." The other two nodded in synchronization, reminding Shinji of the week long training drill he and Asuka had been forced to endure. He shuddered mildly. Never again... His head snapped up with a thought.

"I've got their Nihro-whatsits as well?" Shamshel nodded. "So what, does that mean something else is going to happen to me? I mean I've got bone flying out of my arms thanks to you-" The golden haired girl grinned and dipped a quick bow, obviously impervious to the weak sarcasm he mustered, while the two children turned to each other and shrugged in confusion. "- so what's gonna happen if I have their powers as well?" The former forth messenger blinked at the thought, much like he had only a few seconds ago. A slim finger was brought up to her worry her bottom lip as she thought, gaze intently on the ceiling.

"Hmm..." He leaned closer, absently noting that both Evandiel and Eve were doing the same, apparently hanging on every word Shamshel might utter. "Hmmm..." All three leaned closer... "Hmmmm..." Closer... "Aha!" Everyone gasped.

"Well? What's the answer?" Shinji asked, eager to know what he should be expecting - if anything. Shamshel spread her hands and shrugged.

"I have no idea." Although three people had fallen over, seeing as two had no physical presence only Shinji's face impacting with the cold floor actually made a sound. Immediately Evandiel was back on his feet roaring at Shamshel from his slightly elevated position.

"What the hell kind of answer is that?" Shamshel beamed up at him before standing in turn to loom over him cheerfully. Shinji groaned into the floor, musing that perhaps calling him the diet version of Asuka was going a bit too far.

"An honest one. I have no idea what might happen. But if you can deal with having my powers then there's no reason you can't handle theirs." She addressed her answer to Shinji after throwing a not-so-apologetic smile at Evandiel, totally failing to mollify him in the process. "I don't know what form that power will take though. Like you said, you got those bone things from me, but I don't really have that power." She walked over to the fold down seat and plopped down on it unceremoniously. "The body I was imprisoned in did, but I can't summon bone blades or vibro-whips or whatever the hell they were." Anyone looking would have noticed little question marks appearing in Eve's eyes as her confusion grew. Evandiel, staying true to form on the other hand was fuming quietly, a violently pulsing vein standing out clearly on the side of his head.

"Someone want to fill me in on what the hell you two are talking about? Bone blades? Vibro-whips? Anyone at all? The floor is open." The growled words made Shinji thankful that since they were incorporeal they couldn't actually hurt him. Having the tiny redheaded angelic presence going ass nuts on him wouldn't be fun he guessed.

Shamshel spoke up, nonchalantly explaining the situation to the youths. Eve seemed more confused than ever.

"So... since he carries our Nihro'du... our souls... then he gets some of our powers?" Shamshel nodded, pleased her explanation was understood. "But, Evandiel and I don't have any powers. We were never... bound like you." The bronze skinned girl dropped slightly at the remembrance of her imprisonment and appeared to be lost in the unpleasant memories. Evandiel showed an Asuka-like lack of tact and spoke up.

"What was it like? Being bound?" Shamshel flinched sharply before relaxing slightly and mustering a small smile.

"It sucked much." She laughed weakly. "But it might help to talk about it I suppose." She stood and leaned against a far wall, making Shinji start. He still hadn't got used to the extent of their physical manifestations. One minute they were walking through doors, the next they were leaning on walls. Their interaction with the physical seemed to come and go at its own discretion. Shinji jerked and nearly fell over when he realized that Evandiel had poked him earlier to remove him from his introspection. _Poked him._ Looks like the levels at which they could interact were as yet undetermined. Shinji filed it away as a question for later.

"The first of us to fall was Aramisial. One day he just... disappeared." Shinji settled down to listen attentively. He had heard the shortened version of the tale, but it had been interspersed with tears and a cryptic reference to 'the darkness'. It had not been very detailed. Shamshel's gaze was focused on the floor in front of her, though her voice plodded onwards.

"Each time the universe births, we are... born I suppose. Each time it's new and different for us. We aren't the same each time, so we don't really know each other when we first meet. Some of us don't really know each other even now." The last was a wryly muttered aside, perking the younger of the three listener's curiosity. Noticing Shamshel waved her hand absently.

"You'll understand if you meet Leliel. Anyway, although some things changed, others never will. Time weakens us. We naturally exist in eternity, a place without time, so any contact with time has the same eroding process as it would on anything else. And.. in time...we fall." Shamshel breathed deeply and paused, collecting her thoughts. "When Aramisial disappeared the rest of us knew the time had come. Despondency set in and we drifted apart. That probably didn't help now that I think about it. One by one we vanished and soon I was claimed as well. We were chained and warped into bodies not our own and left as puppets. Once the order was given the bodies we inhabited had to obey. We had no power over them. They were like giant golems and our Nihro'du powered them. Each seeking the 'creator'. Adam - the first Angel. It didn't really matter I suppose. Adam or Lilith, the end would have been catastrophic."

Shamshel kicked away from the wall and paced around the tiny room slowly, suddenly needing to be moving of her own will, as if exercising her freedom. Shinji remembered the sensation of no control settling on him when the dummy plug system was engaged and shuddered quietly at an existence filled with such helplessness.

"Sometimes the lilim survived till the fifth messenger, sometimes the twelfth. One even made it to the fifteenth. The sixteenth - Aramisial - killed him. I think. It happened so long ago it's hard to pick out the details. What I do know for sure is that the only time the lilim have survived the onslaught, is this time." Shamshel grinned, though it looked a bit strained. "Well anyway, that's the story. It's not something I really like to think about, y'know." The others nodded, though Shinji's mind was racing.

She hadn't mentioned what had made them fall. The first time he had heard the story she had seemed terrified by it. She had called it something too... something about a gate... Shinji couldn't dredge it up from his memory and the lack of knowledge frustrated him. She hadn't explained what Adam and Lilith were either. The way she had spoken previously it just seemed to be taken as a given that they would never be encountered. There were too many questions all of a sudden, and none of the answers were readily apparent. The boy didn't want to ask Shamshel because it was upsetting her and he was unsure how Evandiel and Eva would take it. Privacy between the four of them was hard to come by so Shinji didn't expect to find out the answers anytime soon. Suddenly something occurred to him and he lost his train of thought.

"Hey, wait a minute. We still don't know what's going to happen to me now." The golden haired girl snapped her fingers impishly.

"No, we don't. While Evandiel and Eve are indeed angels, they aren't the same as me or my brethren. And sisteren I suppose. Since they are the latent souls of an Evangelion - a being which was thought to have no soul at all - I don't know what powers they are going to bring with them. So it'll be a surprise!" Flopping down next to Shinji she directed a huge grin at him. "Think of it like emotional baggage their bringing with them. Except life threatening and dangerous to all those around you."

"Exactly how is that meant to make me feel better?" Shouting in a whisper is difficult to do, but Shinji managed it somehow. Shamshel grinned even wider.

"Who said I was trying to make you feel better?" Shinji twitched. Over her shoulder he could see Eve and Evandiel staring at the girl like she was insane. Shinji felt for them.

Sighing and looking away, Shinji was conscious of the camera in the top corner of the room. The last thing he needed to be doing was making it appear he was talking to himself as well as possibly being an Angel. The three other presences in the room seemed to take his unspoken desire for silence to heart, all of them sitting or leaning against a wall and remaining quiet. Moments later Shinji decided to break his personal vow of silence for a brief second.

"This sucks."

* * *

"What are you going to do Ikari? You can't leave him there indefinitely." The younger man grunted quietly, shifting his hands as they sat propped on the desk in front of him with their fingers intertwined. His sepia stained gaze remained fixed on the doorway at the far end of his office, his eyes having followed his last impromptu visitor until her exit, but his mind was far away from the mauve haired and distraught Major Katsuragi. Immediately after her departure Fuyutsuki had arrived, leaving the command centre in Ritsuko Akagi's hands

"You should not have allowed them to become so close Ikari." A smile tugged at the Commander of NERV's lips and he shook his head slightly.

"She would have been a useful tool against him should he ever have crossed me in any significant way." A thin eyebrow arched at Gendo Ikari's choice of words.

"'Would have'?" The smile faded from the elder Ikari's face.

"It is... inconvenient but not impossible to continue the project without a proxy for Unit 01.It would be harder if we were still battling the Angels, but as things stand the pilot of Unit 01 is quite dispensable." His eyes traced the pristine white surface of his glove, probing for any sign of the embryo that lay embedded within it absently.

"So you're going to kill him?" Fuyutsuki asked bluntly, one eyebrow raised.

"All things considered it is the best for the scenario, sensei." The man lean back into his chair, but didn't turn his head to look at the man who beside him. "Things have reached a critical and delicate stage. With all the Angels gone it is now a race between SEELE's and us to complete Instrumentality. We cannot allow anything to interfere with that. If that means eliminating the Third Child, then that is the way it must be. Inconvenient, but not insurmountable." The elder man remained silent.

* * *

The silence in the cell was becoming oppressive but no one attempted to break it, sensing perhaps that to do so would be even more uncomfortable. The two young Angels sat together by the wall, nearly close enough to be touching but wordless. Shamshel sat against another wall, leaning back with her eyes on the ceiling deep in personal contemplation.

Shinji was slumped on the floor in front of the bunk, silent as the rest and his mind empty. Faint anxiety thrummed through his body but he tried desperately and somewhat successfully not to think about it. As it was he sat curled up with his head between his knees and tried not to think about his situation, which it was becoming clear would probably not have a pleasant ending.

Gritting his teeth tightly Shinji wished he had his S-DAT with him. It would drown out his problems, no matter how shallowly. And right now that was just the thing he wanted. The sounds of booted feet had passed his door numerous times since he had been thrown into the holding cell, but now the metallic thundering of many crowded down the corridor towards his cage, the harsh echoing making it sound like a platoon was descending upon him. The hairs on the back of his neck rose and gooseflesh rippled down his arms, making him shiver suddenly. The others seemed more alert now, catching the sound the same as he had.

Abruptly feeling the need to stand Shinji eased himself up the cool steel wall, pulling himself to his feet. The blinking red light in the corner of the room indicating the position of the security camera seemed to gleam with evil intent in the darkness. Shifting from foot to foot nervously Shinji watched the others stand. Evandiel scrambled to his feet quickly while the other two stood slowly, Eve a little quicker than Shamshel and staying near Evandiel. The boots were getting louder.

With a violent scrape of metal on metal the door slid open revealing a Section 2 Agent, immaculate in black suit and opaque sunglasses, despite the gloom. Shinji squinted against the sudden influx of light from the corridor outside. While it was still low level illumination it was more than his eyes had become accustomed to in the cell. Behind the suited agent two more bulky men were in view, leaning around the door. Their rough shape made Shinji assume these were more of the guards on the riot gear that the ones who had arrested him had worn. Their automatic weaponry was in full view, trained on him while using the doorway of the room to give them the most cover. Shinji's eyes flicked back to the man in the room with him and watched him reach inside his suit expressionlessly.

The sound of the bullet discharging thundered in the small room like a grenade, the sound slamming off the steel walls and magnified by the enclosed space. Shinji stumbled backwards, deafened and watched the bright lines of brilliant blue streak through the air in front of his eyes dully. Small vibrant blue hexagons shimmered in front of his face and skimmed to the left as they guided the bullet, bending it's path past Shinji to the wall beyond. The cartridge hit the floor with a soft _tink_, like glass shattering quietly. Shinji screamed.

Pushing forward with a stunned curse and a snarl the agent tried to force the chamber of the gun closer to Shinji's head. Stumbling backwards in fear Shinji cried out again and raised his arms to try to protect his eyes futilely, and felt the warm spray of blood cover his face and arms. The Section 2 Agent's scream filled him with terror. Peering through stained fingers Shinji saw the Agent on the floor cradling his wrist, trying to stem the river of scarlet blood streaming down his forearm. His pale hand still clutched the gun from its position on the floor at his feet. The ivory blades that adorned the young pilot's forearms were drenched in warm wetness and the smell of fear, blood and the Agents urine filled the young man's nose, making him gag. The blood cascaded off the scythes of bone onto the floor in a macabre waterfall.

With a yell of anger the two riot guards opened fire, the muzzles of their weapons flashing and the sound hammering at the boys head. Bullets whipped around him, intercepted each time by streams of blue interlocking hexagons and embedding themselves in the walls behind violently. Shinji fell into a huddle on the floor and curled up, his hands over his ears and the tears streaming down his cheeks, trying to make it all go away. Another barked order and the two men disappeared from the doorway, keeping their weapons trained on the youth.

Even huddled Shinji could feel the blood on his skin, taste on his lips, and smell in the air. It was like being inside an Eva. He could hear voices around him, calling his name and the pained moans of the man on the floor, curled into a fetal ball around his mangled limb but he wanted to block it all out and make it all go away. Urges to run were ignored, pleas that he move and flee were unheard as his eyes scoured his stained fingers, feeling the chilling blood that coated them, making his fingers sticky and itchy.

Light flashed and searing pain cut across his face, as if a knife had dipped into the skin of his cheek and pulled across. Blue coated hexagons floated across his vision as he raised his head, The barrel of the gun was pointed waveringly at his forehead, it's sight shaking as the agent held it with his remaining hand, having pried it out of his detached, cooling fingers, it's grip still slick with his blood. Hunched over the shorn limb, his suit now stained red irrevocably, his pupils were tight and tiny from shock and sweat was beading on the man's brow. He jerked the trigger back again, fouling his aim with his urgency, pulling the gun high in his haste. The vibrant cerulean shields had better luck deflecting this, leading the lead past the boy totally rather than allowing it to skim the surface like the one that had marked his cheek.

The man groaned in pain and the weapon dropped from his hand and he collapsed back to the floor. Shaking fingers touched Shinji's bleeding face and it took a few seconds before the boy realized they were his own. He could feel the wetness of the blood on his fingertips, but was having difficulty telling if it was his own or the mans. The man's blood... It was everywhere... His scream ripped through the cell, silencing the voices urging him and he scrabbled to his feet and past the man to the doorway wanting to be anywhere but inside the room covered in blood. Erupting into the corridor, he stumbled and fell backwards as a bullet slipped past him, followed by more. Backing away from the onslaught, terrified despite his ethereal protection Shinji looked around frantically. The gunfire stopped as both men backed steadily away from the boy, rapidly changing the clips on their weapons. More footsteps from behind.

Turning swiftly Shinji found himself looking at Misato and another three riot geared figures. He reached out to her in fear.

"M-Misato!" He didn't know why she was crying.

"You're.. You're not Shinji..." The first bullet was hers, though a sob had choked her and thrown off her aim a little. It was guided past his arm rather than past his head. The other three opened fire, leaving burning trails in the air as the searing lead flashed past the blood smattered Third Child. The shrieks of pain from behind him made it clear that they had found other victims if they were to be denied him. Fear overwhelming him Shinji turned and ran, ignoring the shredded remains of the two guards that had entered his cell with the suited agent, their comrade's deflected bullets ripping their flesh to shreds. The blood made running slippery.

* * *

"Dammit." The phone was placed back into its cradle with a little more force than was strictly necessary, creaking loudly as the plastic covering was squeezed tightly. Fuyutsuki raised an eyebrow in question.

"Something amiss Ikari?" Gendo struggled to master his face, denying his lips their desire to twist into a scowl. Forcing his fingers to release their grip on the phone he sat back, ignoring his hands curling into fists almost immediately. The feel of the first Angel embedded into his palm was harsh in his grip. He spoke with a growl, for all his self control.

"The Third Child has proven to be... difficult to dispose of. It seems our fears were right. The boy has acquired an A.T. field." His voice drew tighter and tighter with each word.

"An A.T. field?...My god..." Fuyutsuki felt his legs giving way and grabbed the desk for support. Sweat was beading upon his brow. "We...we have an Angel inside NERV... and no one that can stop it? My god..." Gendo grunted harshly.

"He's not an Angel yet. Reports indicate that he has yet to use his absolute terror field in any offensive capacity and that he is distraught and fearful. In other words..." Fuyutsuki looked up. "...just like he has always been." This time the commander of NERV allowed a sneer to worm its way onto his face as he leaned back, the new angle sending light glinting off his tainted lenses and obscuring his eyes. "With this being the case it should be relatively easy to put an end to him."

"Relatively?" Gendo's sneer turned into a frown of annoyance.

"Though he may not actually be an Angel it seems that at this point he has the powers of one - some at least. Until we are sure of the extent of his powers we cannot hypothesize just how difficult to kill he will be. Up until such a time we can only attempt to corner him and kill him with conventional methodology. It would be disastrous for him to roam too far." Fuyutsuki levered himself back to his feet and found himself staring at the System Sephrothica on the ceiling. Not for the first time he mused that his former student had an almost sick sense of irony.

"We'll lose dozens of men this way. Perhaps more." The eldest Ikari leant forward on his desk and interlaced his fingers.

"Unless you have a better plan sensei?"

Fuyutsuki remained silent.

* * *

"Where the hell is he?" Makoto stood up in his place in a bid to gain a better vantage and hopefully make his voice heard above the chaos in the command centre. Dozens of techs where running back and forth across the bridge frantically trying to carry out they're assigned tasks, with limited degrees of success. Shigeru caught sight of him and had apparently heard his query shoving another tech out of his way in his haste to get to the other bridge officer. Quickly reaching his side he leant over the console and brought up a map of the detention level.

"We had on camera's five through eight him moving through corridor B5, until he reached this intersection here-" The long haired man jabbed the screen, indicating an intersection on the map "- and after that we think he turned into the access way down here. After that the camera's lost him."

Makoto slumped back into his chair and glared at the monitor in anger.

"Why the fuck don't we have any security surveillance down there! Did the goddamn budget run out!" Aoba shrugged.

"No one thought to bother with equipping the detention level with security equipment, aside from a few emplacements at major junctions." His finger traced another path on the faint blue monitor screen, calling up points of reference as he spoke. "But aside from that there was no apparent need for serious security measures. It's a dead end for God's sake!"

Makoto slammed his fist into the console, prompting the monitor display to shudder slightly before returning to normal.

"This is fucked up." He muttered under his breath. Aoba sighed and nodded in agreement.

"No kidding. I mean Shinji... an Angel? We were talking to him a few hours ago... I can't get my head around it." As he spoke he scrolled through the displays on the few camera's they had, hoping to catch a glimpse of the errant boy. Makoto crossed his arms and stared over the bank of computing systems to the lower tiers of the command centre, each of which had it's own group of frantic technicians. Nominally both men were supposed to be directing the search parties in the detention level below, but this was proving futile seeing as they didn't actually know where they were supposed to be directing them. The teams had been given virtual free rein thus far.

"That's not the only thing. If Shinji is an Angel and we do kill him, what then? If another Angel attacks later we're screwed. Asuka's out of commission and Rei can't sync with either Units 01 or 02. We'll be defenseless." Aoba paused, letting these new considerations sink in.

"...Lets deal with one crisis at a time, shall we? We've got enough problems at the moment without thinking off more." Makoto nodded.

"We've found him!" Both men turned their heads at the female bridge officer's shout. Maya hurried towards them from her terminal and tapped in a few commands at the console the two men were hunched over. The system abruptly sped through it's perusal of the camera feeds until it reached camera 14, apparently at Maya's behest. The screen, though dark clearly showed the Third Child had been cornered by two groups of armored Section 2 agents at an intersection of two minor corridors.

"Should we call in the other teams?" Shigeru asked softly watching as the teams took up positions to open fire.

"I don't think we'll need to, do you?" His spectacled companion replied. Maya had tears in her eyes. The shooting started, eerily silent on a camera with no sound pickup. The muzzle flares of the automatic weaponry played havoc with the feed, sending it into flashes of light and shadow, making it difficult for the three techs to make out what was happening. Soon smoke hid most of the scene from view, indicating that one of the teams had used smoke grenades in an attempt to suppress their targets movement. Shinji didn't seem to be going down though. Maya had turned her face away and was sobbing into her sleeve.

Abruptly Ritsuko leant appeared at their side.

"Report?" Makoto looked up.

"We've found the Third Child. Teams.. Three and Seven have cornered him and have opened fire." She nodded and turned her face to watch the view screen, squinting in an attempt to make out the picture. A slight lull in the firing was swiftly followed by a vibrant blue flare and then the camera dissolved into static. Aoba swallowed loudly.

"What.. what the hell was that?" Makoto leant back, thumping his head into the rest of the chair and stared at the ceiling, ignoring his commanding officer at his side.

"Looks like the shit hitting the fan to me."

No one responded. And then the floor began to shake

* * *

Shinji ran, sometimes falling and scrambling to his feet, but always moving. He couldn't remember how long he had been running, but his body was becoming painful to move, his limbs weak and aching. Occasionally someone would find him and he would have to double back, fleeing from the onslaught of burning lead which never hit him, thanks to the constantly moving shroud of blue hexagons. 

Shinji wasn't sure where he was heading, just away from the people that were trying to hurt him. Trying to make him see more blood. He stared at his crimson soaked hands and fell to his knees shivering. He couldn't get the blood off and he couldn't make the cold go away. He hunched over, ignoring the pain in his forehead as it slammed into the cold metal floor, leaving him curled over in a ball.

"Shin?"

"Go away..." Shamshel looked around quickly, scanning the corridor for a sign of pursuit, before hurrying to his side.

"It's me Shin. I told the other two to stay behind... they wouldn't want to see this..."

"Just go away... leave me alone..."

"Shinji please! You can't stay here! They'll find you again!" The youth dragged himself to his feet, trying to get away from the girl who wouldn't leave him alone. Her words meant nothing to him. They were just sounds.

He staggered away, continuing down the corridor he had turned into. At least he thought so. He couldn't really remember which way he had been moving or how long he had been there. He couldn't remember much at all in truth. Only hot blood spraying on his face and people trying to kill him.

_'Misato...'_ Feet dragging he lurched around a corner and met an intersection. Direction was abstract now. He didn't care where he was going as long as he was going somewhere and he was alone. Moving towards the first corridor he came across regardless of it's direction he started down it. The loud concussion of the shotgun behind him sent blue fields dancing around him like little fireworks. Spinning around Shinji saw the bobbing lights of the riot team as they approached, torches attached to the front of their weaponry. Another volley of shots quickly followed. Chips of smooth stone exploded around him, stray shots ricocheting off the walls and floor sending a hail of little stones and dust over the boy.

Whirling around he met another team approaching from behind. Half a dozen men took up position, kneeling on the floor to brace their aim and locked onto his body with red tracers, shining clearly visible in the rising dust. A soft clink at his feet brought his attention down to the small round grenade which exploded into smoke as soon as his eyes found it. His legs gave out under him sending him staggering into the wall on his left, before the deluge of bullets began. Cries and shrieks of pain broke the monotony of the gunfire, making it clear that the armored teams of Section 2 were doing more damage to each other than to him. Most of the shots weren't even hitting his cobalt shield.

Another gunshot slammed into the tiled floor a few steps in front of him, crushing the tiling into dust and knocking him off his feet, leaving him half knelt and half crouched, hugging the wall for support. Shinji felt the sharp pains in his chest, the needle like fire that lanced him every time he breathed. Even above the raging fury of the weapon fire he could hear his own harsh breathing as he struggled to draw breath.

Collapsing to his knees completely he bent over, bracing his tired body on his trembling arms, gritting his teeth and trying to force his body to move. It did not.

"Please Shin, you've got to get up! We don't know how long your field can last!" The girl was back and she was making noises again. It was hard to see her now, his vision was blurred and the blue shapes fluttering through the air around him like lethargic butterflies got in the way. "Please move Shinji!"

Noise.

A grenade chimed into the wall beside him and exploded, the concussion throwing his limp body sideways into the middle of the cracked and pitted floor even though the blast was dampened by his protection. Suddenly more bullets were finding their marks. A blizzard of sapphire snowflakes sprung up around him, whirling like a tornado of azure. The harsh red lines of the fire traced the outside of his dancing shield, always guided past him and beyond. Dragging himself to his knees Shinji felt his tears cut tracks down his face and stared at his dirt and dust covered hands. They hurt.

_'Why won't they leave me alone? I just want to be left alone!' _A chip of stone flung from a bullet impact a few feet in front of him cut his shoulder, slicing material and flesh with equal ease. It hurt.

Looking up through the settling haze of the smoke Shinji saw the dark silhouettes of the men stalking him approaching steadily, their muzzles flashing continuously. His fingers dug into the floor as he threw his body upright, more through leverage than his muscles work, until he was on his knees again.

_'Why won't they leave me alone?'_

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Shinji threw his head back and screamed. And the blue snowflakes became a tempest cutting through the smoke and stone and men and bullets until it all stopped. Then he was falling.

"Shinji!"

Noises.

* * *

"How long has it been?" 

"About five hour's sir."

Gendo brought one white gloved hand to his face to adjust the glasses habitually perched there. The weak lighting of the emergency lamp beacons strung across what was left of the ceiling, blinked and fluttered, making him wonder irritably if it wouldn't have been better to leave the area in darkness. It might have been less distracting. The smell wasn't helping.

The initial implosion had sent shock-waves through the superstructure and collapsed the surrounding tunnels as the ones above gave way under the pressure and had been brought down. The result was an effective cave in and blockage of the last area they had seen the wayward Third Child. It had taken them this long to secure the site, dig through the tumbled rock and ensure that the structures in the area wouldn't continue to cave in on anyone who approached the area. Then the emergency lamps had been strung up and wired up to a back up generator three floors up, the lines trailing down a devastated lift shaft. It had all taken less time than he had expected it to.

The epicentre was horrific and the commander felt that soon enough the full weight of the terror he knew he should be feeling crash down upon him like a tsunami. It was shock, he supposed, that kept him standing. A near perfect sphere had been cut in the level. About 10 meters in diameter it was only interrupted by the gap in the ceiling and the floor and the fallen debris that had cascaded from above. The bodies of the men here were still being carried exhumed and carried away. What was left of them. Whatever had done this did not discriminate between flesh and stone. Those who hadn't been killed in the initial blast had been crushed from above.

Gendo was once again surprised at just how much blood was in the human body. It was splattered on every wall and every surface, coated liberally with settled and still falling dust. Another man was carted away, the morose medics dragging the bodies between them when they couldn't find space for a stretcher. This one had half his face left. His ribs were showing and his left leg and half his hip had been razed away. Half a face stared up at Gendo in unimaginable terror. It was more than they had found for some.

The dead man was carried away.

Fuyutsuki stepped to his side and stared at the hole in the floor.

"So it seems he fell through."

"Yes."

"..What now? We can't send people down there, Ikari."

"We don't have a choice sensei. If he finds Lilith... it will be the end of it all."

"If we hurry, perhaps we can send teams to intercept him at the gateway. It will take longer than I would hope though." Gendo looked over his shoulder at the mangled lift shaft, which would necessitate the teams moving through another route - too far away from the boy's point of entry than the Ikari father would have liked. But then there was nothing he liked about this situation.

"You'll send them into the Valley?"

"Better they see that than the other." Fuyutsuki shook his head dully, his hair looking even whiter under the dust that had fallen onto it. His face was pale and sallow too, but that might not have been the dust.

"Isn't it too late to be hedging our bets Ikari? What happens if they can't stop him at the gateway?"

"If they can't stop the boy there then they can't stop him anywhere." The elder man nodded and sighed, breath stirring the particles of dirt clinging to him.

"And so they'll walk through the Valley of Death..."

"Yes."

* * *

Blood surrounded him. He was drowning in it and breathing it in. He could smell it and feel it all around him. It was everywhere. He clawed at it, desperate to free himself to escape it's wet clinging touch, even as he panted and gasped through the liquid that filled his lungs. Eventually he gave up. He couldn't escape it. Blood surrounded him and covered him and he fell deeper into the darkness. Wherever he went there was always blood. The darkness claimed him.

* * *

"Shin! Shin! SHINJI! Wake up! Please!" The ground was gritty under his skin, scraping against his cheek as he tried to lift his head. It hurt all over, the aches permeating his body. Liquid hung in his lungs. Coughs wracked his body, doubling him over despite the sharp lances of pain that punctured his muscles as his body fought to expel the foreign substance. Translucent orange fluid splattered onto his fingers and the rocks he was curled up on.

_'LCL...'_ Collapsing to his side, what little strength he had gone, Shinji pried his eyes open and stared at the lake of LCL he was lying on the shores of. His eyelids felt sticky and gummed together, the LCL coating on them drying and hardening. It was dark. A few dim lights illuminated the scene but most of the world he now inhabited was shrouded in shadow. Beyond the faintly shimmering lake of Link Connection Liquid colossal arms reached towards the black heavens, fingers clawed and broken, resembling dead trees hundreds of feet high. A sound at his side.

_'Shamshel...'_

"Are you alright, Shin?" He didn't answer. His throat still felt raw. "W-Where are we?" Grunting in pain and rolling to his knees Shinji threw his body forward, trying to force it to stand. Staggering to his feet, before nearly collapsing as his legs inevitably buckled, Shinji tried to ignore the screaming from his tortured muscles. Loosing his footing he smashed his shoulder painfully into a metal plate at his side, sending shock-waves of agony through his abused body. He didn't know bones could ache.

"Shinji..." Shamshel's gasp of horror drew his attention to his impromptu leaning post. He was not surprised to see it was a grey armored jaw, twice the size of himself. The dim light illuminated the rest of the armored head, it's eye sockets glaringly empty in the plate encasing the beasts face. It looked like it was screaming.

Turning away he tried to walk and found he could not. He tried to curl into a ball as he fell, but could barely even manage that. It made no difference. It hurt just as much when he hit the ground one last time. Shamshel called his name in panic and hurried to his side, skirting the fearsome visage behind him as much as possible.

"Are you ok? Shin..." She knelt next to him, unable to help in any way. Tears were in her eyes. Shinji's ears twitched at a sound and even that was painful beyond his imaginations ability to understand. His voice was grating and raw, scraping against his throat as he spoke.

"Do...you...hear crying?"

"What?" Ignoring Shamshel's silent tears, Shinji dragged his face along the ground to squint into the darkness in the direction of the small voice he heard.

"Please stop moving Shin! You're making it worse!"

"I hear... crying..." The boy's eyes found the behemoth that sat before them and towered above them. Amour cracked and pitted by time it sat, grey and dead on it's knees before him. It's armored head only had one eye... and it was crying.

* * *

_Well there you go. Apologies for it taking so long, but Uni has started again and I have more writing projects than ever to work through. Some will have to be shunted and adjusted in my schedule. Hopefully I can keep updating this at something like a reasonable rate. As you might have noticed the rating in this fic has risen. Having just read the chapter you can see why. Rest assured this will not spiral into a death-gloom-and-darkness fest. Much like most anime though there will be serious bits and humorous bits, of for no other reason than that I can't stay serious for prolonged amounts of writing. Seriously I had to stop writing this fic several time because I was getting to tempted to put in a fart joke or something._

_Later dudes. _


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